Trying CIO

Here's the scoop, my DS is 6 mos old. Since he was abt 2.5 mos he is already STTN straight without any feedings in between gradually increasing up to 11-12 hrs straight up until 2 weeks ago. He started waking up and we would rock him back to sleep or give him a bottle then will settle down. Then the last few days, he started waking up at a certain time (around 11pm) then would wake up every 1-2 hrs from there on. He does not appear to be in any pain. He would cry but by the moment we hold him, he falls back to sleep or once we give him the paci, he sleeps again but wakes up again after 1-2 hrs. I asked my pedi and she said that if my baby is in pain, he would not be consoled that easily and will not wake up on a scheduled time. She believes my son is what you call a "trained night waker". She said it happens to babies who are STTN then undergoes a phase like teething then he gets comforted in the night (bottle or being held), now even though he is past that stage, he is now wanting the same attention, hence the waking up. So she wants us to try CIO but checking and assuring the baby at regular intervals. I am very anxious because we have never let my babies cry for long periods of time and I know it will break my heart but at the same time, we are tired and he also keeps waking up his twin sis coz both cribs are in our room. Now my DD is gonna stay in the other room tonight so we can try this out! Sorry for the long post but I am just so anxious! I hope this works!!!!

 

I've done CIO on my oldest and one of the twins. It works both times, and I only had to do it for 2 nights. Its hard but worth the sleep it lets you have. Good luck

 

Good luck Mama! It's hard, but like the pp said, the sleep is sooo worth it! CIO took one night for both of my boys(they have shared a room from the get-go). We did CIO for them to go to sleep AND to stop night feedings-all in the same night. They cried for 45 minutes to fall asleep, and then woke once or twice in the middle of the night. I went to the mall, and dh stayed home to listen to them cry! I couldn't take it!

I say keep busy. I never went in and did the five minute intervals, or whatever. I just did the extinction method(I think that's what it was called). They never cried for very long. I knew if I went in and hushed them, etc, it would just elongate the process.

:hug: You can do this! Be sure to post an update!

 

CIO is quite literally the hardest decision i ever had to live with. once we decided to do it we realized it would be worse for them if we gave in and stopped than if we let the process work as intended. it's agonizing to listen to your LO cry for you, but just remember this is to help him learn how to soothe himself and get better sleep in the long run. the mantra i would run over and over in my head was, "i'm doing this FOR them, not TO them."

checking intermittently is called "gradual extinction." your alternative is just straight extinction. the difference is that with extinction you don't go in at all unless you hear something that sounds like a health risk. we found that with gradual distinction babies can learn to cry for the duration of time it takes you to go in there. to take my DS jacob as an example, if we waited 10 minutes to go in he would cry when we left and he would keep going for 15. if we waited 20 minutes he would start crying again when we left and cry for another 30. if we waited 30 minutes t go in, he'd cry that long, too. we sort of informed his body clock by giving him a duration of time we were willing to withstand before giving in and going in to soothe him. ultimately what we had to do was just not go in at all.

you just have to try it and do what you're comfortable with. and as PP said, after about 2 or 3 nights it was done. every few months we might have a backslide following teething or a cold when we really did need to go in and soothe him, but as soon as he was healthy again we'd do CIO for one night and it was done again.

 

I just posted my success story with CIO on a separate thread, but just wanted to tell you that I absolutely think you should do it. It sucks (understatement of the year) for a few nights, but then you have months, and months, and months of good sleep as a reward. Good for you, AND good for baby. As PP mentioned, I think that going in and checking on the baby is fine if that's the only thing you can handle, but really it will go faster if you don't - they get all wound up again when you check on them. Good luck!!

 

Thanks for the advice and support. Ok so here's how it went down.. He started crying at around 1030. We let him cry and then checked back after a few minutes. He cried in and out for 45 mins before drifting back to sleep! It was agonizing! But he still woke up about every 1-2 hrs but we barely even have time to console him and he went back to sleep. When he woke up this morning he seems fine and happy but we gave him lots of hugs and kisses due to guilt! Lol! I don't know if he will start to get it tonight but we'll see. I just thought he will sleep through after the 45 mins of crying but he still woke up. Maybe he has not resigned to the idea yet? I hope tonight will be better! I dont want him to go through that again!

 

I am glad it went better for you then you thought it would. Hopefully tonight there will be less crying and more sleeping

 

It is really difficult. I am listening to them cry right now. I have not had to use CIO at night just for naps. I am following what Weissbluth suggests and he says to let them cry for up to an hour. 10 minutes seems like forever.......

 

My kids were extremely persistent about crying... CIO took several weeks for us and they would scream forever. However difficult it was though, it was better than having to get up every hour in the night to comfort one or the other. When you have a well rested family everyone is happier and healthier and you can focus on the fun stuff. So hang in there, stick with it, and you'll be thrilled with the results!