Trapped in an elevator with stupid people and their stupid comments

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by travellingmum, Aug 10, 2009.

  1. travellingmum

    travellingmum Well-Known Member

    I was in an elevator yesterday with my twin boys. A couple with a toddler got in. The toddler was interested in the babies. The dad said to her "Yes, it's twins. Two babies. It's almost like two whole people!" WTH???? ALMOST like two whole people? He wasn't speaking to me, but I said "They are exactly like two whole people". He could tell I was annoyed and shut up. Then his wife said "Well, at least you got it all over with in one pregnancy." I said "I have a toddler as well." And she replied, "Oh no, you poor, poor thing." Seriously. I'm blessed with three gorgeous, healthy children and that's reason for sympathy? Some people are morons and should not speak to strangers.
     
  2. mel&3

    mel&3 Well-Known Member

    Wow, those are some of the dumbest comments I've heard in a long time. I hate the, well at least you got it over in all at once, comment. Sounds like I got bargain basement babies.
     
  3. DATJMom

    DATJMom Well-Known Member

    People are just so, so odd! :tease:
     
  4. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    "Almost like two people" ??? :shok: People can sure say the dumbest things. You had great comebacks!
     
  5. eliseypoo7147

    eliseypoo7147 Well-Known Member

    Almost? WTH?? I heard all the time "....unlike normal babies" while mine were in the NICU. Like just because they were early they weren't normal. Ugh. And I agree with the getting it over with at once comment. Who are you to assume how many kids I want?
     
  6. Obie9

    Obie9 Well-Known Member

    I met another stupid person yesterday. Hubby and I were at Barnes & Nobles with the twins, and we got into the elevator with this idiot woman with a single child. She asked me their ages, and then told me her child's age. The idiot then said to her child, "Aren't you glad you're not a twin?" Although we were going to go in the same direction after we got off the elevator, I deliberately steered hubby in the opposite direction because I was so furious and didn't want to lose it in front of the children....Grrrrrrrr!!!!!!!
     
  7. LeeandJenn15

    LeeandJenn15 Well-Known Member

    I hate the "you poor, poor thing" line. Like they are some kind of extra burden because they were born together. Yeah, it's tough (that's why we have this forum, right?) but how blessed are we to have these wonderful beautiful babies?

    I can't even imagine how upset I'll be if I ever get a comment like that when my babies are old enough to understand. I don't them to ever feel like they are a burden!!
     
  8. heather.anne.henderson

    heather.anne.henderson Well-Known Member

    I was having lunch with my brother on Friday and a woman with a baby and a toddler came up and asked if I had twins. Then she said she would pray for me. I hate when people think that i need special prayer to handle to babies. Come on!!! My other favorite is "are they identical" I just say no, but if my husband is with me he always has to tell them that one has a penis and one has a vagina.Then they just ponder that for a moment!LOL
     
  9. oh-baby-baby

    oh-baby-baby Well-Known Member

  10. oh-baby-baby

    oh-baby-baby Well-Known Member

    I think I love your husband!!!!
     
  11. aorcutt

    aorcutt Well-Known Member

    The "whole people" comment has to be one of the DUMBEST things I've ever heard. Congrats on not smacking the guy.
     
  12. piccologirl

    piccologirl Well-Known Member

    i hate the "all at once" comment, too. the assumption that i was planning on more than one child just irritates me. it's not like combining grocery trips, it's two whole children at once! getting knocked up a second time doesn't equal caring for two infants at the same time.

    for the record, i wouldn't change a thing. but i really truly never intended to have more than one child. the assumption gets on my nerves.
     
  13. rubyturquoise

    rubyturquoise Well-Known Member

    The "all at once" comment carries the implication that one is required to have children, two children, and why not "get it over with"? It's not like anyone would *want* children, mind you, but since you have to have them, at least you had them both at once. <_<

    "Two whole people" is a new level of :shok: for me.
     
  14. Carrie27

    Carrie27 Well-Known Member

    In the south we get a lot of "God Bless You." I simply reply that "God HAS blessed us."

    Don't you love feeling like a freak show to the rest of the world? Sigh.
     
    1 person likes this.
  15. nateandbrig

    nateandbrig Well-Known Member

    What a dumb comment! I don't mind the comments as much and usually just laugh them off, but about a month ago we went out to lunch with all 4 kids and a woman came by and was saying actually really nice things about how beautiful they were and then all of a sudden turns to my oldest (9y) and says she feels "so so sorry for him", how sad that he has to be the big brother of all of these "other children". I couldn't even speak... But I'm sure the look that I gave her said enough, she just walked away. :grr:
     
  16. marijanad

    marijanad Well-Known Member

    I was asked, in an elevator, in front of OTHER strangers, if my twins were conceived naturally, which I suppose meant, did I use fertility treatments!!!
    Sure wishing now I told her right off, but my mother was with me and I didn't have the energy to deal with her too, she always takes the polite, high road :)
    HOW RUDE.
     
  17. serialmommy

    serialmommy Well-Known Member

    wow...i can only imagine what they would have said if me and my SIX kids had gotten in there! that's a funny picture! why is it people forget to THINK before they speak?
     
  18. TennesseeMomma

    TennesseeMomma Well-Known Member

    I hate the comment, "So, you got it all over with in one shot - you aren't having more are you?"

    I just say, "We are just getting started!" Then they usually don't know what to say!
     
  19. serialmommy

    serialmommy Well-Known Member

    i usually get something like that..."oh, you are had twins, that is wonderful, you'll have your hands full" or "i hope you will have a lot of help at home" and i say "oh, i've got 4 more at home, that's all the help i need" and then their jaws drop and they look at me like i've grown a 2nd head and then i get some other comment that states the obvious "hands full" thing...they usually ask if the other kids are older and then they seem relieved that i have an almost 12 year old and a 10 year old and i get something like "oh, well that's good"...like it would be BAD if my kids were all younger??? :blink:
     
  20. slugrad1998

    slugrad1998 Well-Known Member

    I hate when they ask if they are a boy and a girl (which is quite obvious by the pink carrier that my daughter is in and the blue that my son is in) and then say, "How perfect, one of each, now you can be done." So if I had 2 girls or 2 boys I should keep trying but the goal in life is to have one of each flavor? I just roll my eyes but my hubby gets really annoyed and has had a few snide comments already. One time when someone asked if they were twins he responded, "No, one's a puppy."
     
    2 people like this.
  21. heathertwins

    heathertwins Well-Known Member


    This is a GREAT comeback !! I hate when people talk to you when you aren't there -- like they talk to the person beside them all about TWINS... it is like .."I can hear you !". Talk to me directly or dont' talk to me at all. I had a woman in a baby store ask if "they are the same ?" I replied "no they are two different babies". I guess I do get a big smug when I see two parents trying to cope with getting ONE baby out of the car, and I rock past them with two in a double stroller and a 4 month old in a front carrier. I get a bit of a jaw open look. I have that look like I'm handling it all quite nicely thank-you.

    Heather
     
  22. MrsWright

    MrsWright Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    :rotflmbo: "Ones a puppy" Bahahahahahahah! I need to use that sometime!
     
  23. Farrah

    Farrah Well-Known Member

    "Who are you to assume how many kids I want?" LOVE IT...I feel the same way! I have 6 total and my twins were the last born! They are B/G twins too so I always get those comments....it makes me sooo MAD!!!
     
  24. kturley

    kturley Active Member

    HYSTERICAL!!!! HA! i love that one :rofl:
     
  25. slr814

    slr814 Well-Known Member

    I get the comments about "oh, how perfect, one of each." or "The perfect family, a boy and a girl"; with my DD standing right there! I usually say "I don't have one of each, I have TWO girls and a boy, which is perfect for us." Although I have to say my all time least favorite is the "getting it all over at once" one. It's usually made by a woman, who is implying that I somehow got off easy by having two babies in one pregnancy.
     
  26. talivstouwe

    talivstouwe Well-Known Member

    Ugh. I can't imagine being trapped in an elevator with those people! Hugs to you!

    It seems like most people without multiples feel sorry for us with them. Hubby and I have always said the opposite - we have been SO blessed with these boys that we feel sorry for those without multiples. And, I will tell people that - people that make stupid comments about "better you than me" - that kind of thing. Damn straight better me than you - obviously!!!
     
  27. chellebelle

    chellebelle Well-Known Member

    This one always gets me, I haven't said it yet but I had figured out I'd start talking about getting the DNA tests done and get them all involved blah blah blah and then say that the results came back that one has a penis and one has a vagina but I haven't done it yet heehee.

    Oh we are SOOO tired of that, we have 4 month old twins and a 19 month old and an ll year old so when we go to the mall with our caravan of 2 strollers we get the looks for sure!

    I know I've heard that about my 11 year old too, as if finally giving her siblings wasn't a gift she had been asking for for years! Grrr

    Bwahahahahahaha Thank you for making me LOL this morning. My 11 yo came from the bathroom to see why I was cracking up heehee. I so needed that! I will definitely have to use this!


    I can't believe the "Its almost like 2 whole people", never heard that before. How can people be so dumb?! LOL!
     
  28. jromkey

    jromkey Well-Known Member

    The "almost two whole people" comment is priceless. WTG, idiot!!

    I get the "at least you got it all over with one pregnancy" comment a lot - also the "wow, instant family" comment which is a little weird. I mean, if I just had one kid would that mean that we weren't a family??? I try to take it all in stride because most of the time I get the impression that people don't mean to be insulting, it just comes out that way! I am also lucky because the majority of comments I get are positive like "what a blessing/double blessing", "I'm jealous" (my kickboxing instructor!) and "looks like you got your Christmas presents early" (at least three people said that to me in the weeks before Christmas when I was out walking with the girls). At any rate, I think you responded appropriately to those people and hopefully next time they will think before they speak!
     
  29. vtlakey

    vtlakey Well-Known Member

    Wow, the "almost two whole people" comment in the elevator was unbelievable. Hard to believe some people can be so dumb and insensitive all at the same time!

    Though I must say it doesn't bother me that people tend to look at us at the mall and always ask if they are identical (even though they are clearly not identical in my eyes), etc. Most of the time people are just oohing and ahhing and saying how cute the boys are, which I think is nice of them. Nor would the comments about having our hands full, or "getting it all over with with one pregnancy" bother me. Heck I've made those comments about myself many a time! LOL I think most people are just trying to be nice and sometimes they say things in a goofy way, so I don't hold it against them. But the "almost two whole people" comment was NOT nice and I would have been offended by that too.
     
  30. dowlinal

    dowlinal Well-Known Member

    The almost two whole people comment is mind boggling.

    When I go out with all four of my kids, I am like a lightening rod for stupid comments and I am starting to just resolve myself to them. My boys look nothing alike. One has olive skin, brown hair, and brown eyes like his Greek Mama and the other is fair, blonde and has blue eyes like his Irish dad. Yet, I still always get asked if they are identical. It's hard to not respond back with "Do they look identical?"

    The only one that really bothers me is the "Are they natural? comment. I always answer yes because I hate the implication that IVF was unnatural. The bad part is that several people have followed up with saying something against IVF. One woman told me that she knew they had to be natural since someone with two kids wouldn't be dumb enough to do IVF. I guess us infertile people aren't supposed to have more than one or two kids.
     
  31. goofyjilly

    goofyjilly Well-Known Member

    LOL!!!!!!!!!!
    That is sooo funny!
    I can't wait to use that line.
    I haven't really gotten out much with the twins, it is just so hard to for now. So I haven't really experienced the comments that come with twins. My B/G twins are definitely so different looking, with my boy weighing 23 lbs and my girl weighing only 15 lbs. It is so plain to see that they are different. But I know people will still ask. Hopefully I don't get annoyed by it.
     
  32. BeanJeepin

    BeanJeepin Member

    Oh dear - that "almost two whole people" would have bugged me to no end.

    We've gotten the are they identical (they look nothing alike, even at a quick glance - they don't even look like brothers), the are they natural, the how was your c-section (I didn't have one), the how early were they (they were term), the poor you with all boys (I have four boys, and am THRILLED to have four boys), the are you done now, and the best - "are they twins?" (no, I just like to take two small babies and two bigger kids everywhere, no, I happened to find this other baby and he looked lonely so I took him with us, no, I like to space my kids really close together) and then when I answered yes, they are twins the lady goes to her husband "No, they can't be twins, they're not dressed the same." I couldn't help myself I said "Oh, you know what? You got me, you're right. They're not.".

    We didn't name them until they were 3 weeks old and were out and about plenty previous to that. THAT was fun, with the comments.

    When we go out I wear one whenever possible - people assume the bucket seat is empty (or I'm able to bring a single stroller then) and ignore us. Cuts a half hour or more off a grocery shopping trip.
     
  33. teach0502

    teach0502 Member

    When I was in the grocery store once and someone asked about the twins I got the "oh, you must have your hands full" comment. I then said I also had a two year old at home. Their reply was "What did you do to make God mad" and then laughed. I said nothing and turned and walked away. I COULD not believe what I had just heard.

    About the question "were they natural?". My pediatrician who also has twins told me the best comeback of it's a woman asking. You look down a little and say "I don't know, are THOSE natural"...lol....
     
  34. MeredithMM

    MeredithMM Well-Known Member

    Almost like two whole people?! WOW.
    That's nuts. I love your response.

    I am typically hard to offend when people ask about the twins, but comments of that nature kind of get to me because I don't much care for it when people don't respect each boys unique identity.

    I think the most crazy and also offensive thing I have ever had said to me (thus far anyway--haha) was actually when I was pregnant. When we found out it was two boys three separate people told me, with a look of real disappointment, "oh, I was hoping one would be a girl!"

    My mom had died shortly before I got pregnant, and I think that's why everyone was really wanting a girl. But it was soooooo not okay for people to say that to me. The first time it happened I was so shocked I just stood there. By the third time it happened I told that person that I did not appreciate that comment. It was a great introduction for the stupid comments that come my way now! haha. It shocked me to no end that someone would SAY that, you know?

    I also get those "oh, you have an instant family now!" type of comments.

    I also love the puppy comment. Going to use that one....
     
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