Transitioning to daycare part-time

In a few weeks, my almost 2 year old boys will be starting a daycare part-time (2 days/week). As the time gets closer, I am having a lot of anxiety! They have been home all summer with a nanny, but she goes back to college. Before the summer, DH was home and I was home. We did try a home daycare a few days and I did not like it. Their older sister will go with them and I am not worried about her. How can I make this transition easier for me and them? Their days will be long there, which I don't particulary like. But it has to be this way b/c of my job and DH job. My biggest worry is just dropping them off there and them thinking what happened to my Mom! We have a meet the teacher night right before they start, but nothing else beforehand. DD has seen the school and I know she will adjust easier.
I am struggling with this! Should I call the school and ask for any suggestions? Oh how I am dreading this!

 

I am in the same situation - our LOs will be starting daycare for 3 days a week next week and I am struggeling with sending them and am anxious about the transition.

I do not know how verbal your children are, but we have been talking about their going to daycare a lot, have shown them the place and how we will go there, etc. I will also talk them through the schedule for each day in the morning - e.g. after breakfast we will drive to daycare, then you will play with the other children, have a snack ... and after that I will come and pick you up. They also got a few special birthday gifts only for daycare which they are eager to use.

Our daycare also does a very gradual transition into the full-time setting. For the first few days I will go there with them and quietly sit in a corner while the teachers try to engage them, just as a safety net for the children, and do things like diaper changes together with the teachers to show the children that it is ok for the teachers to do these things and that we trust the teachers. Then we will practice going away for a bit and taking the children home with us once we return; first time, 10 minutes, if that goes well, 30 minutes, etc. The daycare told us to expect it to take up to 2 weeks for them to stay happily the whole morning and up to 4 weeks before they nap there and stay until the early evening pick-up time. This means taking more leave than I actually have but my office has been quite tolerant because this gradual transition model is fairly common where we live.

Maybe an abbreviated version of this would be preferable to dropping them off for the whole day right away if you can organize this and the daycare is willing to work with you?

I will also be watching the children closely for any unusual behaviour which is probably the best way of finding out if they are adapting well.

GL!

 

Hi,

I can sympathize - putting my kids in daycare part time caused me a lot of anxiety. Not sure if it will make you feel better but the good news is that my kids LOVED it once they got used to it. some suggestions:
*I agree with pp to talk a lot about it with your kids and get them used to the idea of it.
*stay with them for a few hours on their first day and try your hardest to be upbeat and happy and most important show that you like and trust the teachers. Kids are sensitive to how you react to things.
*for me I did the drop off for a few days but just couldn't take it, I cried the whole way home each day...and the kids were really emotional too. We switched to having my DH do the drop off and it went WAY better. much less emotional, and kids were happier to run off and play.
*what worked for us was to do a gradual schedule: 1st day just till lunch, then until after nap, then a whole day.....but don't stretch it out too long. This can actually be harder on the kids as they can't figure out what is going on each day
*if it is possible try really hard to set a schedule and stick to it. The kids will really notice if you are late to pick them up and are comforted by you/DH being there at the same time each day.
*Ask the daycare if they can bring a security item/toy to have during nap.
Allow some time for them to settle before you worry too much. But, do watch for signs of them having trouble (like if they start to cry every day when you go to pick them up or if they cry all day long for more than a max of 2 weeks. This may be a sign that this is not the right setting for them.)

Good luck!

 

Thank you!!!! They aren't very verbal at all so talking to them beforehand will probably not work. But I really, really like the gradual transition approach. I am going to call the daycare tomorrow. I do envision them liking it after awhile, but I know it's going to take some time.

 

Also, remember that the teacher for the 2 year old class has been through this countless times! My girls go twice a week and started when they were 2yrs old. The first week they were great and so excited to experience something new. They were home with me and had NEVER been dropped off anywhere (not even grandmas) so i thought i got lucky, until the following week. After that they were upset and of course after a week or so they were fine. But lots of kids are doing the same thing in the beginning and the teacher clearly knew what to do. Now my girls are in the 3 yr old class and I can HEAR the tears coming from their old class the first week or so..now of course they are all happy and they all quickly adjust!! GL

 

Thank you Taurus Twins. I called the center and I am going to visit the week before with them for a couple of hours so they can at least see the place. This was their recommendation. They didn't recommend a shorter day at first and then building up to a full day, which I am not so sure I agree with this.

 

Mine started part time, two days, a few months ago. I did transitioning with them where you go one weeks before their start date and let's say the first day just stay with them there for 2 hours. Then next day go for 3 hours but stay with them 2 hours and leave for 1. Then next day put them half day. That's what I did and it helped.
One disadvantage with part time is that it takes kids longer to get used to it. I will not lie as first month was a nightmare for me and them. Still now after 4 months I worry all the time and feel terrible dropping them off, I think it's part of mommy worry feeling and now I see it will never go away but I keep telling myself that it's what they need in terms of socialization and that they got lucky to stay home this long as most kids go at 10 months when mat leave is over.

Good luck and don't bee too hard on yourself. Now when I drop them off they cry for 3-4 min and then forget about me. I still stay behind the door and can't leave unless I hear them stop crying ;-)