Too young to CIO?

How old were your lo's when you started CIO? My girls sleep good at night but are horrible nappers. I have tried everything and still they will only sleep 20-30 minutes at a time. They do both have reflux but they are being treated for it and I keep them elevated. I just HAVE to get them napping better because I am going to start back to school full time(online classes)in a couple of weeks. There is no way I will be able to my school work if I can't get them sleeping better.

Right now, the only way they will sleep for more than a half hour is if I hold and rock them. I love doing this, but like I said, once school starts that's not gonna work. Do you think it's too early to try to CIO? It makes me feel awful to hear them cry when I can go to them but I don't know what else to do. Any suggestions would really help. Right now, they sleep swaddled in a darkened room with white noise. I have tried unswaddled and it just does not work. TIA

 

Okay, maybe I'm going to get a lot of backlash here, but my twin DD's are almost 4 months.. so just a bit farther along than you little ones. I have read and reread healthy sleep habits happy child and maybe I'm misinterpreting the information, but it seems to say that there are special circumstances where it would be okay to let them cry- he does not necessarily advocate that, but says it might be part of the process of helping them learn to sleep. It seems to say that you can try it.. if it doesn't work, then wait until they are a bit older and try again.It also has a bunch of good info about timing of naps...

Up until 3 nights ago we were getting up to tend to our little ones no less than 25 times per night. We tried swaddling them and they just seemed so angry the tighter we swaddled them because they wanted their hand and then they would startle themselves awake with their hands. Pacis just made things worse!!! I tried going cold turkey with the paci's but we couldn't do it without even more sleep deprivation. I seriously was starting to feel like I was losing it.. I was getting no more than 2 consecutive hours a night.. on a good night.. then I couldn't get back to sleep when I woke to tend to them. Naps were only in swings and they are really far along with developmental milestones with respect to gross motor ability and they were starting to bust out of the swings.. oh and one of my LO's only slept in a carseat for reflux and she had started trying to flip herself out of it..and she wouldn't sleep in the crib. we had/have a real mess on our hands! SO... that all being said.. we called our pediatrician and told him about our situation and he asked if we were willing to try to let them cry and check on them every 20 minutes if the crying went on and on (we are doing a 4 day trial of CIO). We went cold turkey with paci's (they cannot get them to their mouths independently anyway so I figure it would just frustrate them) and without swaddling so that they could self-soothe with sucking on their fingers or holding the small stuffed animal they have in their cribs... well. the first night was not too different than normal.. instead of going to them when they cried we just let them cry.. it lasted about 10 min. and they were back to sleep. The next day naps were and still are an absolute mess and I'm still confused how long to let them cry if they are on/off crying/sleeping. The next night they slept 12 hours.. with one wake up to feed and then went right back to sleep. Last night was the same. Today the naps are a bit better.. so my take: I think if you are going to do it be very consistent. I'm going back to work in August (speech pathologist in a school) so, we had to do something. It tears my heart out to hear them cry.. I still feel like I'm doing them harm and feel guilty as ever.. but I think if it helps fix our sleep problem.. the girls will gain so much from it!!!!! Feel free to PM me if you just need an ear to listen if you decide to do it.. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do with them!

 

Just a couple more questions while I think about this and try to post a more useful reply. Do you lay them down awake or asleep? When they wake up, are you picking them up instantly? Have you tried giving them 5-10 mins to readjust and possibly fall back asleep? Do you use swings? I would definitely keep up the swaddle. 3 months may be too young to train them, and it may not. Dr. Weissbluth says to practice in prep for 4 mos and older I believe, but there are babies on each end of the spectrum. I think it is a careful mix between your needs, their needs, and it isn't an easy answer. I will never know exactly because we didn't have to do CIO, but I am a fierce protector of sleep and was prepared to do whatever it took. At that age we went from cat naps to a 3-hour consistent morning nap in the swing from about 9-noon. I am anxious to hear your answers.

 

I think 3 months old is too young to try CIO.

I would recommend you use swings if they like the rocking motion. We used swings for naps until they were 7 months old and had no problem transitioning them to napping in their cribs. I agree with Betsy - I did whatever it took to get them to sleep. I think a lot of sleep training experts warn that if you use these so-called "props" that they will never sleep properly on their own. I am not so sure if that is true. My girls sleep great (go down for *most* naps/bedtime without fussing or requiring any parental intervention; infrequent night wakings except during periods of teething) and I didn't exactly follow all of the cardinal rules of sleep training (we co-slept from time to time, use pacis, pick them up/rock when absolutely necessary, etc.). You can also look into other methods of encouraging good sleep habits that are out there - I feel like CIO is put forward as the only way to get your babies to sleep well when that's just not the case. I learned a lot from Elizabeth Pantley's "No-Cry Sleep Solution" so you might want to check that book out if you have time. By all means also read Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (I certainly did) for more information about CIO and to decide if it's the right method for you and your children. I guess I just want you to know that there are other methods out there beyond CIO. Good luck and I hope your babes are sleeping better soon!

 

I try to at least get them into a drowsy state before I lay them down but I rarely put them down fully asleep. When they wake up, I usually try to put the binky back in to see if they will go back, but if they don't, I do pick them up. I have never tried to let them sit for 10 minutes or so. I feel bad about it. I'm going to try that today though. I have tried swings, but they never fall asleep in the swing. It wakes them up if they are drowsy. It's more of a play thing to them than a sleeping place.

I just bought the book Healthy Sleeping Habits, Happy Child and I am trying to find time to read it. I think I am going to try putting them to bed earlier and see if that helps too. I have been putting them down around 9, but I am having to wake them up to feed them their last bottle. They usually nap from 6 until I wake them up for bath and bottle. I realize now that when the fall asleep at six, that may be when they actually want to go down for the night. I'm hoping that by putting them down earlier, they'll get better rest since I won't be waking them up for bath and another bottle. My only concern is that I will be taking one whole feeding out of the day, which would put them to only 4 bottles a day. Unless, of course, they wake up much earlier, which will probably happen. I'm going to try it tonight and see what happens. Keeping my fingers crossed

 

Even though the "natural" bedtime for most babies is 6-7 PM, they are often not ready to go 12 without feeds. Many people will counteract this by doing a "dreamfeed" at 9-11 PM. For this you would basically go in there, keep the light off, don't talk, feed them and lay them back down. Often babies will stay asleep or only stir slightly.

As for CIO, our situatiuon was similar. We didn't have that many complaints about nighttime, but the days were hell because they would not nap. Swings didn't work, nor did bouncy seats. They wouldn't nap unless attached to my breast or in a baby bjorn. They fought sleep like nothing else, and then screamed because they were over tired. We did do CIO for naps only at about 3 months because I had gone back to work and DH was desperate. We let them cry when we laid them down and again if they woke up and had not been asleep for 45 minutes. After a couple of days they were actually napping and they were much happier babies. We waited and did CIO for bedtime about a month later. We kept them swaddled...they woke themselves up too easily without it and it really didn't affect their ability to calm down and fall asleep.

Weissbluth states that at 12-16 weeks a baby may be ready to learn to self soothe. If you don't have time to read the whole book, just read the first couple chapters. I read them in a day or two while I was pumping or nursing.

When it comes down to it there are two camps when it comes to CIO. Some do it early and some do it late. Do whatever you are comfortable with because you have to live with the decision. If you do it early you may still have some night waking for feeds but it should help the other issues.

 

I second the suggestion of the No Cry Sleep Solution.

We had a real problem with nap times when they were about that age. I used some of the ideas from the book and it really helped them to sleep longer. What really helped was observing their sleep patterns for a few days. I noticed they always woke up after about 45 mins or so. So I would stay near them and then when they started to wake up I would soothe them, sing, etc, and they would drift back to sleep. After doing this for a few days they started to get the hang of sleeping longer. It wasn't a cure-all, but it did help quite a bit.

Good luck!

 

I didnt do CIO until mine were older than 6 months old. I first did it with DS at 10.5 months as he was refusing to nap. It isnt a pleasant experience but a necessary one and he had learned to nap again in just 2 days. I followed the Baby Whisperer when it came to naps and it worked well for us (though she doesn´t advocate CIO). If your LOs have reflux then it´s probably what´s keeping them from sleeping properly. It´s a really tough age as they are so young and are still learning how to fall asleep. Have you tried putting them to bed in a hammock or car seat so they are sitting? My DD was a nightmare for the first 6 months and would scream and cry a lot particualarly between 6 weeks - 3 months (it was awful). It comes to a point when you dont know what to do so I ended up just sitting by her singing softly until she eventually fell asleep. Nights were never a problem, strangely enough. She didnt have reflux but we did all the tests and found out she had a lot of trapped wind in her stomach. I changed the formula when she was 6+ months and she was a much happier baby. Hang in there and do whatever you think is right for your children. In your shoes, I wouldnt do CIO just yet but that is totally up to you. GL.

 

I would go through a soothing routine at nap and bed time and then put them in their cribs and leave. If they cry, they cry. You might want to try this first at bedtime, because that's a time you KNOW they will be sleepy and you KNOW they need to sleep so you will have less guilt. I did this (just at bed time) when my first was 8 weeks old because I would rock, rock, rock him, then try to put him down, then he would wake up and I would have to start over. For my twins, I started putting them down awake from the beginning because of the history. Once your babies learn to put themselves to sleep at bedtime, you may find that their sleep improves overall because the don't need you to soothe them back to sleep when they have little night awakenings. By the way, naps at 3 months are generally not that great. Most babies don't get on a really beautiful nap schedule until they are a little older. At 3 months mine were still napping in the swing, on walks, in the car, etc.

 

A typical sleep cycle is about 30-45 minutes so many babies wake up after the first cycle and are unable to get back to sleep. My DS is a textbook napper and sleeps a full 2 hours for the AM and PM nap but not my DD. I let her cry through the nap window which is from 8-10 am and then 12-2. That means crying can be up to an hour sometimes. She goes down very well but wakes up after 45 minutes. I let her cry a full hour if she must and then get them both up at the end of the nap window. I try to keep her up until the next nap window without getting her overtired. I am strict to keep to two full naps a day and a late afternoon cat nap and then bed at 6:00. DS would love to be a cat napper but I want them on the same nap schedule so I have been nap training her since mid June. I started at 4 months. Her nap issues began once she began sleeping thru the night. They both sleep 6-6 and that started at 12 weeks. She is getting better every week but it's a lot of work. I would rather do it now than have sleep problems when they are older. I too, have been following Weissbluth since I brought them home. Remember, there is no one right method but I suggest you pick ONE and be consistent. You have to do what works for you and your family.

 

My twins (15weeks +/9 weeks + adjusted) sound just like yours. They sleep great a night (my friends are envious), but are TERRIBLE nappers. I have tried just about everything to get them to sleep, including darkened room, swaddle, white noise. However, no matter what I tried, they always woke up after 30 - 45 minutes. Letting them go just ended out with an awake, crabby kiddo.

Today, one twin woke up after 45 minutes and she was yawning and had red eyes - clearly not rested - but she kept flailing and waking herself up more. So, I picked her up and started our pre-nap routine all over again. She fell back asleep within 3 minutes and she is now sleeping again (a back-to-back nap). Maybe I am violating every rule out there for sleep training, but she's sleeping again and to me that is all that matters. You may want to try it with yours to see if it works.

Good luck.

PS - I got my idea of trying to get her down again by googling baby catnapper. It was reassuring and interesting to read what other moms like us have been through and how they resolved it.

 

Thanks for all the advice. I think it is starting to get better, but we are still having some problems napping. I'm hoping that it will start to get better soon.

 

This is pretty much what I did and still do if they wake up early and seem still tired. It was one of the suggestions in the No Cry Sleep Solution. After a while they started getting the hang of it and did not need me to help them get back to sleep. They'll still wake up every now and then, but I figure we all wake up and have a hard time going back to sleep sometimes.

Hang in there! It will get better.