Toddler Bed Story

Over a month ago I posted about a spur of the moment toddler bed transition (not of our choosing.) I said I would post an update in the coming weeks. Well, here ya go...I hope you don’t get too bored.

The night-time transition was fairly painless. They were mostly excited, slightly freaked out, but didn’t lose too much sleep and we pushed their beds together initially although ended up moving them apart because if one did sleep the other antagonized. At first they would fall asleep on the floor after running around and we would move them to their beds. Now when they are ready to sleep they get in their beds and we go up later to make sure they have their blankets on. On very tired days they are asleep in 15 mins…on days where they are too wound up they have been up as long at 3 hours! I am mostly talking about Jude and that is very occasional. I would say on average they are up 1 hour by themselves before going to sleep. They chase each other, steal and fight over stuffed animals, play ring around the rosy, etc. Even in their cribs it usually took them about an hour of chatting to go to sleep. One thing that helps is having one high-energy activity during the day and following a strict bedtime routine so they know what is coming. We had been able to be a lot looser about routine up to the transition because crib meant sleep. The other thing we had to do is take out everything. Because of Jude. Dressers, rocking chair, everything. Flash forward to today and we have just moved everything back in their room 3 nights ago and so far so good with night-time…they are very excited to have their things and it is nice when they get up to be able to play a bit before I come up. They don’t wake each other at night – good sleepers once asleep, however, Jude does wake Zoe up prematurely every morning.

Naptime is a whole other story and is the reason why I have warned friends who want to make the transition early to consider leaving their kids in their cribs until there was no choice. We went from a consistent nap from 12:00 – 2:30/3:00 pm to no nap at all for the first 2 weeks. Since then we have naps about every 2nd or 3rd day. They just cannot get into it. Their room is darkened, we have a routine, they are exhausted, etc, but they just cannot settle down to nap. When they do they go down about 12:30, fall asleep by 2 pm and wake around 4 pm…sometimes 4:30 pm. Their bedtime is becoming later and later when they do nap and when they don’t (overtired.) I recently posted that our naps (when they happen) are really hitting around 2:00 pm, which seems late to me. But that is pushing their bedtime until 8 or 8:30 – shocking considering until the transition they were 6:30 pm bed-timers. And it was heavenly for DH and I to have our nights. Now, every single day is a battle for me. Just because it is so hard to relax hearing them up there when I want them to sleep. Again, I am mainly talking Jude. Zoe would have made this transition flawlessly if we had space for separate rooms. She may have cried a bit for her sister but that girl likes and needs sleep. On days they don’t nap, Jude has the most outrageous tantrums come 5:00 pm. She had a tantrum for 2.5 hours the other day – DH and I tried everything. She is just very intense. Even though she is tired, I daresay Jude is starting to convince me she is done with naps. If I did that bedtime would have to be at 6 or 6:30 pm latest. I just refuse to believe I have an almost two year old who is ready to stop napping. With the transition has also come a new, more intense clinginess, nightmares, and fighting for my lap (although that could just be a coincidental phase.) Basically, I understand first-hand now how a major transition like this can really mess with their little worlds. And the disappearing act of our consistent naps has been nothing short of brutal for me. I am back in survival mode with no time for myself. At night I try to tidy the house although it isn’t tidy. I guess one plus is that things are so screwy that I don’t plan around nap if I must get out. I give them the chance to nap and if it isn’t happening we take a car ride for some errands. That isn’t that often but when it is at least I know they will get a 20 minute cat nap. All of this so far and I have not bought a video monitor. Believe me, I want one, just not in the budget. I am just mentioning it because it is doable without it. I did shortly try some nap training where you sit in a chair and keep placing them back in bed without saying anything but my patience level made me very bad at this method. I figure I will just keep putting them down and just hope one day that it will click. Of course every kid is so different, but I will still warn others over and over not to take the chance by transitioning early. I suspect it could be more difficult with two who share the same room. Naps were such a break for me. I am a bit in mourning. :unknw:

 

Have you thought about putting one in your bed for a nap? thats what we do at our house and we HAVE to do that if I expect them to nap.
Otherwise, Id put one kid in their room first to fall asleep, and once that child is asleep put the other one in there with firm instructions not to wake their sibling! Its not as fun when there is no one to talk too.
You deserve a break no matter. so if either of those 2 things arent an option, still put them in their room and tell them they dont have to sleep but they need to be quiet for an hour and then go take a rest for yourself!

 

I agree, try separating for naps. We had to do this shortly after we transition and we got another couple of months before they ended up giving up naps altogether. After a couple of months of separation were able to sleep in the same room. Taking away their ability to feed off of each other did wonders for our nap situation.

 

Betsy, thank you for updating. I agree with PP's, if possible, I would try to separate too and see how it works :hug:

 

I will try to separate tomorrow and see if that works. That is a great idea - thanks! We did just move our bedroom back up next to theirs and instead of our high bed are just using box springs and mattress on the floor (I know, my redneck roots...heh heh) so I feel perfectly comfortable trying Zoe out there. I have tried the firm approach but they must be too young. They just laugh and laugh. If I stay in the room and sing them and sooth them they will go to sleep. But that is a process and takes a very long time (45-60 mins)...they (Jude) are such sleep fighters. Hopefully the separation will be key. If only Zoe would sleep that would be a great start. Thanks!

 

good luck! so sorry for the issues!! I tried toddler beds this summer, and gave them up after almost 2 months... I was like you, in that I couldn't keep calm while trying to put them back in bed... I can totally see ours doing better on their own, and I've wondered how it would work to put them to bed at different times... it wouldn't be as possible for me since my dh isn't able to help most bedtimes. so for us I think we're waiting - maybe until 3yrs, maybe later! ugh!