Toddler and twins....yikes!

I have a toddler who is 22 mo. old and 3 week old twins b/g. How do you mamas do it with 3 kiddos and not to mention 3 under the age of two!!! Thankfully, I have my mil and mother around to take my ds when needed, but there are days when it's just the three of us and it's hard. I"m so exhausted all the time and my ds wants to play all the time. Please tell me I'm not alone and how do you mamas handle this??

 

My DD was 22 months old when my twins were born. They are now 7 months old.

The first month was probably the hardest. It was by far, the most challenging period of my life, thus far. Our parents are deceased, we really didn't have much help, so DH and I were on our own. All of us came down with a nasty cold and I ended up getting severe pneumonia and pleurisy when the twins were 1 month old. I was hospitalized for 2 weeks. It was awful.

After about 7 weeks, I did start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Their sleep stretches got longer, I started to get into a groove, etc.

Without question, the biggest challenge of taking care of 3 children at once is juggling feedings and bedtime, particularly when I am alone. Feeding the babies while having to feed my daughter, is truly a juggling act. I try my best to stagger their feedings, feeding the babies early, feeding my daughter while they sleep then feeding them again while she naps. As the twins get older, there are many times when their feedings overlap and I I’m required to be in two places at once. Somehow, I do it, working through the chaos. I find it helpful to set my daughter down with some puzzles while I feed the babies. Or I use bottle holders when I have to feed both babies at once. I realized that every day is going to present its unique challenges, despite my best attempts to keep things consistent.

I have been quite surprised to have dealt with few jealousy issues. I made a point to dedicate one day a week for just my daughter and me to do fun activities together. I'm aware that as the twins become more interactive, there will likely be jealous issues that surface all around, so we can only continue to do what we’ve done and hope for the best.

My twins are now 7 months old and my daughter is 2.5. I can count the times I have taken all 3 children out together alone. Even then, it's only been very short trips to the park. The prospect of going out with all 3 is very scary to me, surely to become even more frightening as they become mobile. I have returned to work for 4 days a week and am now in the midst of trying to balance work life, home life and 3 young children. There is a lot of planning, for almost every facet of our lives. I consider myself a person who thrives on this, and yet at times I am just overwhelmed with the magnitude. Still, nothin can come close to the feeling of pride I have watching all 3 of them grow, change and develop. A few months ago, we seriously doubted if our lives would ever be the same. I've come to the realization that they will never be the same, but I wouldn't want them to be. We are truly blessed.

Hang in there...it's tough, there's no question about that, but you will make it through.

 

Well, my DD is three, which is a little different (although she would have been 2 when/if our first set of twins had survived). One hard thing for me is that Karis hardly ever takes a nap anymore...maybe once a week. So there's hardly a break from her. Does your son take a nap? I'm guessing he does. I just try to plan activities for her..."Do you want to color or play with blocks while Mommy feeds the babies?" I try to include her as much as possible, getting her ot "help" with things. If your toddler and the twins end up sleeping at the same time some days, REST! Even if it's just for 20 minutes. Don't worry about the housework, etc.

I also try to give myself some slack sometimes. I really am NOT a big TV fan and DH and I differ on this. I don't like Karis watching much TV at all, but sometimes I just let her to keep my sanity. She's an extremely active little girl and keeps me on my toes constantly. Another thing...I used to bathe DD1 every night as a baby, but that whole idea has gone out the window! My twins are lucky if they get a "real" bath twice a week...and that's okay. Take advantage of the family you have nearby and try to get out once in a while...on a date or whatever.

Hang in there...it DOES get easier.

 

My DD was 26 mo when the boys were born. It is still a juggling act around here with the twins at 10 mo but it is far better than the first month. It is so stressful not to be able to sleep during the day like I did with my first newborn. And the sleep deprivation with the twins is killer. My DH was awesome about getting up at night knowing that I dont get any breaks either during the day.

I too, caved with the TV. I was on modified bedrest at home for awhile and then on hospital bedrest so I let her watch some TV now just so I can have time to feed the twins their meals. My Ped gave me some great advice when my twins were first born and I was struggling to be a "good mom" to all of my kids. She said give her (the toddler) 10 mins a day of your undivided attention. Thats it. She will love it. So, I started there (believe me it was hard just to find those 10 mins) and then we worked our way up to now so when the boys take their morning nap, we play or do art. I also take her with me when I run errands on the weekend that way she and I can go to lunch together. Or I take her to the mall or the park. Something fun for her and me.

My OB also gave me great advice in that kids are very resillient (sp?). They dont remember. So dont beat yourself up over not having time to spend with everyone right now in the same amount. Someone called it "survival mode" to me on this board and you are in the thick of it. Hang in there. It gets much better.

 

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My OB also gave me great advice in that kids are very resillient (sp?). They dont remember. So dont beat yourself up over not having time to spend with everyone right now in the same amount. Someone called it "survival mode" to me on this board and you are in the thick of it. Hang in there. It gets much better.


Totally agree with Rachel! Right now you just have to do what it takes to get through! My son was 27 months when the twins were born, and I also had a 8 and 9 year old. Somehow we survived!! :hug99:

 

You are not alone. My DD was 2 1/2 when the twins were born. It was crazy around here for a while, and we were getting help from my parents, who came to stay with us a lot. You can make it - I wish I had some great advice for keeping the older one happy, but in my case, she went to part time day care and that really helped her out. :hug99:

 

Well I had my twins first then my singleton 18 months later. I had some help for the first 3 months, but I can tell you it is HARD. Just hang in there and let everything else go. Things will get back on track before you know it so just do whatever you can to make it right now. Do you have a triplet stroller? When the weather was nice we got out of the house as much as possible just so I wouldent have to clean up whatever mess came from eating, playing, etc. We did alot of reading books because the baby liked to hear my voice and it still gave the older 2 lots of attention. I also had a bassinet so that I could take the baby from room to room with us. I bought lots of convienance foods that I could just pop in the oven instead of cooking even though I usually love to cook.

It's really hard at first, but now I honestly love having them all so close in age. They can share most of their toys and honestly seem to enjoy each other. They seem to help each other when I can't understand, if that makes any sense. Feel free to pm me.