Toddler aggressive with Twins

Honestly, I feel like we've tried everything. My two year old can be wonderful and gentle with the babies one minute and then suddenly turn on them and pinch or squeeze or hit them. It's killing me. I'd say she doesn't understand, but she really does. She knows how to be gentle and even tells me when she is being gentle. Anyone go through this and find a good solution?

 

Time. I know that is an obnoxious answer but it's the truth. 2 yr olds do know when they are misbehaving and when they are being gentle but what they lack is the understanding that pinching, hitting etc hurts other people. Most 2 yr olds will pinch or hit their siblings not because they are being malicious but because they want the baby(ies) to do something. Crying is more interesting than laying there cooing. Plus, it does give her a sense of power to affect her environment and cause the flurry that results from a crying baby. Eventually the babies will become more mobile and active (and fun!) and she will get older and realize that pinching hurts everybody. This is a phase that you will have to weather. In the meantime continue teaching her to be gentle and that the babies have feelings like she does and they don't like pinching because it makes them sad.

 

You can try moving her away from the baby when she does that, tell her what she did wrong and then put her somewhere and ignore her. Keep lavishing attention on the child who was hurt and hopefully your toddler will learn that she is only going to get attention for "NOT" doing something wrong. Eventually it will work, your babies will get bigger and your toddler will grow out of it. :hug99:

 

I don't have a solution but just wanted to let you know we are in the EXACT same situation. In the past two weeks I have seen my two year old bite his sister (hard enough to leave teeth marks and a bruise), hit her, pinch her, sit on her head and put his foot on her head while she was playing on the floor. Honestly it is to the point where I can't turn my eyes off of him for a second or he is doing something to one of them. I know the answer is to not get emotional about it since he wants the attention even if it is negative attention but I am not very good at it. I keep thinking it's because I am not giving him enough individual attention, but we try to give him his alone time and he still acts out. I am feeling very at the end of my rope here so it's nice to know someone else is going through the same thing. I guess time is truly the only thing that will help this situation since nothing else has done it so far. Gosh I hope it gets better soon.

 

My toddler is the same way and she is 3 1/2. She bit one of the twins on the foot when they were only a couple weeks old. I asked her why and she said she was saying "hi". We definitely had a discussion about that! Anyway for the most part she isn't trying to hurt them, but she gets too rough with them often. Now the babies love to "wrestle" at 10 months! I wish I had some great solution. I remove her from the room sometimes or give her timeouts. I also spend lots of time trying to explain that she has to be gentle with them and they will be able to play with her soon. She does get mad at them though when they grab her toys and screams at them. I just tell her that if she doesn't share with them that they wouldn't want to play with her when she gets older or she isn't allowed to play with their tosy which she loves! Seems to work a lot.