Here is some background information about myself. After giving birth to my twin, I returned to work because my aunt got laid off from her job and she offered me to take care of my kids. Since we want someone trustworthy to take care of my kids after I returned to work, I return to work three months before my maternity leave ends. At that time, I felt like abandoned my own kids and felt horrible. When my kids were two and a half, I got laid off by my company, I still let my aunt to help us out for another three months because she could not find another job. I feel like I have to share my kids with her for the whole time. After that, I got a chance to take care of my kids by myself for one month. Then my company offered me a new job in another department with a raise and promotion, so I returned to work. But I felt really bad these days because I am so busy. I don't have enough time for both kids and DH. If I spend more time with one kid, then the other seem to disobey me and distant away from me. I felt heart broken. I keep trying to switching priority between the kids and feel disappointed all the time. DH has requested for weeks and months and I am not in the mood for it. One night, I finally feel like I cannot push it anymore, so we have sex but I was really really tired. Should I just quit my job and stay home with the kids, so that I can have more times for the family? My DH's income can cover all our basic expense. We just have to change the spending lifestyle a little bit. One more problem is that we have to let my aunt go this time and she will lose her income. I don't want to do that to her because she is family.
Its a hard decision to make, but if you are really feeling guilty and want to be home w/ your kids and be available for your husband then you may want to consider quitting or see if they will let you work part time. If you can, you should let your aunt know that you plan on quitting your job and that you wont need her services anymore. So that will give her time to start looking for another job.
If you're feeling this badly about working, and your husband's income can cover your living expenses, I would quit and stay home. I understand your feelings about your aunt, but you need to take care of your family first.
If you are feeling that badly about not being there for your dh and your kids then I would quit, especially since you said your dh's salary can cover everything. Just give your aunt some notice before hand so she has time to get used to the idea and she can prepare (if you can really do that) for the lost income. Or check with your company and see if you can go to part time and then your aunt will still have some money coming in just not as much as before. good luck with your decision it's a hard one to make.
First of all, I want to send you a great big :hug: !! This is such a tough issue for so many moms. I know moms IRL and online that work because they have to but really want to stay home and those that stay home because they have to but would really rather be at work. I say that because I think it's wonderful that you have the choice althought it's clearly causing you alot of angst. Maybe I'm reading your post wrong but it sounds to me that you have felt pushed in to working more to give your aunt a job than the need for your own immediate family to have your income or your desire to continue your career. Many moms do not have the luxury of deciding what they want to do. I think you owe it to yourself, your marriage and your own (immediate) family to do what you think is best for the four of you. What does your DH think? Does he want you to stay home? I'm gathering from your post that you think you would be happier staying home, and you think your marriage would be better if you stayed home. It will probably be hard to tell your aunt, but you have to live your life in the way that is going to make you happiest. Do you think 10, 15, 20 years from now you will look back and be glad you stayed working? or do you think you would resent it? Ask yourself the same question about staying home. You can give your aunt lots of notice, give her great references, maybe see if any of your/your DH's coworkers are looking for anyone. Good Luck with your decision!!!
Thanks for all reply. First of all, the reason that I feel sorry for my aunt is that she found another job before I went back to work recently. She gave up working on the other job because she loves my kids. During this economic downturn, it is very difficult for her to get another job. Also, working part-time is not an option for this job. In addition, I will not get any employment insurrance (money) from government if I quit the job. I will get money from government if I did not go back to work. I guess I just regret going back to work. I will phone the government to determine whether they resume for employment insurrance claim if I quit my job. In addition, I will give my aunt a few months notice before quiting.
