To Nanny or not, that is the question

It's been awhile since I've posted, but I really need some advice. My kids have been in daycare since they were 9 weeks. I foudn out last week that the kids teacher for their 2 year old class is resigning and tomorrow is her last day. Today she called and told me that she is really interested in nannying the twins at our house during the day. She is the third teacher they have lost and they become very attached. THe teachers become attached to, not sure if it's because they are the only twins there or not.

But anyway, I really like this girl and I know Caden and Madison do as well. Another plus is I know she is a good teacher because they already know so many shapes, colors and animals, and are recognizing a couple (and really just a couple) letters. She hasn't named her price yet, but the reason she is leaving is because of our director. I do know that the director has very high expectations (which she should as she is very liable for children) but she also is not always the nicest person to deal with.
I'm so torn, because we have always wanted a nanny out of convenience and the fact that my kids seem to always be sicker than the others and since I have two.....the days I miss work are doubled because usually one gets sick and then the other is a few days behind. I trust her completely and like I said the kids love her. Every time we leave the daycare parking lot they always are waving goodbye and saying "Bye Macy!"
What are some things that I need to look at to determine pros and cons and what are your experiences with nannies?

Serena

 

If it’s in the family budget I vote for the Nanny… I’ve always had one and I wish I had one with teaching experience… and my sister who thinks they don’t get enough solicitation not going to Daycare with other children isn’t true (in my case) my Nanny took him to Gymboree and made play dates and met them at the park… so if you can afford it, I would do it… I plan to have one for when my twin arrive and I am now a sahm and only work part time (from home) for my husband’s company (so very flexible)
hth

 

Before the twins were born, I really wanted to do daycare. It was cheaper and I wanted the socialization. Then two months in, Jake was hospitalized, so we were forced to find a nanny.

WE LOVE HAVING A NANNY. My husband works from home, so we only need her 40 hours a week. We pay her 500/week (which is really good).

Here are the pros:
1) No prepping bottles/food/diapers for daycare
2) the kids have been getting individual attention
3) We can keep them the schedule we want
4) She cleans the house
5) She takes them to the park (our daycare did that as well)
6) They have *barely* been sick
7) She cleans our house (she does this on her own, we only asked her to clean up after babies and do their laundry)
8) You can work out holidays w/her (for instance, we have her coming for a 1/2 on Monday/MLK day, not sure if daycare would be open)
9) No morning daycare rush

Cons:
1) Her english is bad, so we have communication issues
2) When she is sick, we are stuck (fortunately my work is flexible right now and my hubby is home)
3) She can quit with no notice
4) They are starting to hate their room
5) No socialization
6) Less hours (depends on what you negotiate) - our daycare was 7:30-6, so potentially the kids could be there longer for the same $$
7) Withdrawing 500 cash each week!
8) She doesn't always document everything
9) Loss of privacy (when she cleans up we can't find our stuff)

Some Advice
1) Think about how much coverage you need in terms of hours (is your work unpredictable, etc)
2) Think about what you are willing to give in terms of holidays
3) Paying on the books vs. off the books

There are so many other things....but I'm sure others will add their thoughts.

 

we had a nanny for close to 2 years and LOVED it.
I think clasrooms can be beneficial, but they're still really young.
If it were me, I'd have her nanny them until maybe next fall and then start them in preschool.

 

When I returned to work after maternity leave, we put the boys in daycare. I HATED everything about the whole daycare situation and immediately started looking for a nanny. We've had a nanny ever since and we love it. It's absolutely been the right solution for us. Our nanny moved out of state and we just hired a new nanny who was a head teacher at a preschool - it's been fabulous! If you have the chance to hire the teacher who they already know and love, I say go for it!

My pros for using a nanny:
1) No more rushing around in the morning to get them fed, clothed, bundled up and to daycare on time - greatly reduced stress and has allowed more quality time to spend with the boys
2) No more spending an hour every night getting things ready for daycare the next day - again, more time for ourselves
3) We don't have to wake up the boys extremely early every morning - they can wake up on their own schedule
4) They get to eat and nap when they are ready - not on some predetermined schedule
5) We can more closely monitor their food intake and eating habits - has become even more important after a food allergy diagnosis
6) Greatly reduced sickness for both the boys and for DH and I. When they were in daycare, all of us were constantly sick. We are rarely sick now.
7) The nanny will do extra work around the house when the kids are napping (not required by us)
8 The nanny provide a 2-1 ratio for more individual attention vs. the 4-1 for daycare/infants and expanding ratios as they get older.
9) We no longer have to take every holiday off and make alternative arrangements when the daycare is closed
10) When the kids are sick, we can still work - with daycare, you need to keep them home and find alternative arrangements. A nanny will still show up!
11) The nanny takes them to a lot of groups and activities - they have constant exposure to new kids and things to do
12) Greater flexibility in scheduling - The nanny will not charge you $1 per minute per child if you are late! If you run into a weather condition, accident on the road, or some other thing that prevents you from getting home, you don't have to worry about paying fines or child services being called because you are late. This happened to someone I know who was 30 mintues late due to a snowstorm!
13) The kids develop deep and lasting bonds with their nanny. Daycare often can be a revolving door of people coming and going. Good nannies will be loved by your kids and she will love them back.

My Cons for a nanny:
1) Last minute call-ins can leave you in a bind
2) They can leave with little notice - it takes 2-3 months to find a good nanny!
3) Your home is wide open to this person - she'll have access to everything and there isn't much you can keep private. I struggle with this because I am a very private person.
4) The expense - having a nanny has cost us nearly double the cost of daycare. But, it's a sacrifice we are willing to make!

Some Advice
1) Develop a comprehensive written work agreement that outlines the duties, household "rules" and your expectations. Have her review this before she accepts the job and sign it after she accepts. This helps to make sure you are both on the same page. You'll also need this as back up for unemployment claims.
2) Show your appreciation every chance you get - tell her she's doing a great job, buy her little gifts every so often, give her some extra/unanticipated time off, and a nice Christmas bonus. This person will be with your kids a good part of the day - you want her to love her job!
3) Have a weekly status meeting for the first couple of months to make sure you are keeping the lines of communication open and then check in "formally" every so often after that. Sometimes it helps to bring up issues that might be festering on both sides.
4) Pay taxes - in the end, it's not worth getting caught. There is no statute of limitations - she can report you years from now. Also, she has a legal right to file for unemployment taxes if you fire her and you'll get caught that way. Or she'll file for social security benefits, or list you as a previous employer on federal forms... the ways you can get caught are numerous. When the time comes that you want to make a change, you'll live in fear of being reported to the IRS in retaliation. We started paying taxes and it's been a weight off our backs knowing we can fire our nanny if needed. Luckily we haven't had to fire a nanny yet - but it's important to have the option!
5) Run a background check through a private detective. They are more thorough than the online options and often cost less. At a minimum, include a criminal history, sexual offender report and driving history. You should also consider a credit report check and drug screen.
6) As part of the work agreement, offer a bonus for giving notice if she decides to quit. That way, you'll increase your chances of having time to find a replacement. It's expensive, but worth the peace of mind. We offered 1 week of pay for every 2 weeks of notice, up to a maximum of 3 weeks pay.
7) Develop a "temporary nanny" list - people who you prescreen to fill in for your nanny if she needs time off or calls in sick.
8 Listen to your instincts - if you ever feel something is wrong, assume it is and immediately take the appropriate action. Your kids are too important - you need to trust your nanny 100%.

Good luck! I hope you find the solution that works for you. If you have any questions, PM me and I'd be happy to help.

 

I've had a nanny all along, and am making a change to 3 days a week in daycare, 2 with the nanny. My girls need the socialization at this point, and my nanny is an awful driver and I won't let her drive them to playgroups, etc. If you trust yours to take them for things like that, and the price is right, go for it.

A nanny is definitely convenient. But my daycare is just 5 minutes away, I work FT from home, and DH is going to drop them off sometimes, so we're not expecting daycare to be extremely inconvenient and I know they're going to love it.

 

We actually just got rid of our nanny. There are definitely pros as stated above and cons. It does make life much easier, but at a cost. I do think that at the age of your children, they would prefer to have more socialization and so it might not be the best solution. My girls started nursery school two mornings a week this fall and absolutely love being with the other kids. So, we are going to put them in a home daycare on the days they aren't in school so they can continue to be with other kids. It's a lot less money and I think that we just didn't need our nanny anymore. I would perhaps look to see what other daycare options there are out there. If there is a lot of turnover at your current one, perhaps there is a reason.

 

RRTwins has some good points, there are a lot of things to consider. We had a nanny for the first 2 years of the kids life, and I worked from home, so I was able to nurse them and be there during my breaks. They are in school now, since we had to fire the last nanny.

I wouldn't give up those two years for anything, but by the time we had fired that last one, I never wanted another nanny in my house. The first year, my cousin was our nanny and that was heaven. I could trust her completely, she took care of all of us, and she genuinely loved my kids. When she went back to school, we had to hire someone, and that was really expensive. We used an agency, who's fees cater to those in a higher income bracket (not an issue since she's not coming to you thru an agency). The first one seemed great, but she ended up being a liar who was out to get whatever she could from us. And left us in the lurch with no notice when I wouldn't be her patsy. The second started out great, but as time went on got more and more surly and abusive of our generosity. In all cases, we had a nanny agreement that clearly spelled out our expectations, but in the end, it came down to they refused to do what they didn't think was needed.

The lack of privacy was a huge issue for me. Also, personal issues - the last nanny wore an awful cheap perfume, very heavy, to disguise other smells. It pervaded every corner of my house and my kids smelled like it at the end of the day. I hated it! I tried to ask her gently to tone it down or stop wearing it, but that wasn't taken well. Also, both outside nannies wore inappropriate clothing from time to time, casual is one thing, but bra-less halter tops are NOT. Finally, having an outsider in my home, when I (or any other adult) couldn't be there to supervise, was really unnerving. My imagination went into overdrive anytime I wasn't home and it made for a lot of stress.

Finally, Never pay your nanny off the book. It will come back to bite you later and you'll owe a ton of money, if not facing fines or other charges. Sign up for a federal tax employers number and a state unemployment number (if applicable). And educate yourself on your responsibilities. You'll end up paying over her gross salary to cover your part of Medicare and Social Security, but that's just part of the game.

Do get background checks, references from previous employers, call them and talk to them. Ask what their situation with this woman was.

The kids have been happy in school, and enjoy getting out of the house and making friends. They are sick a LOT more, but I'm hoping that will end with time and immunity build up. They also are learning a lot faster now that they have teachers and other kids as examples. I wish I could have them home more, in a part time situation, but this is how it worked out for us. I will say that there is no way I'd go back to having them at home full time, because they wouldn't enjoy it. I couldn't trust any of my nannies to drive the kids (my cousin being the exception), and they were limited to the house for playtime. While I made sure they had at least 4 different play areas and activities, it doesn't take the place of a room that's designed for little hands and short legs - the potty, the sink for washing hands, the floor for easy paint/food/color/playdoh clean up, the sheer number of different toy and learning options at a school far outweighs what I could reasonably provide for them here at home. If I were a SAHM mom that would be different, since I could get them out to PT preschool, and gymboree, and the parks and other options that I just couldn't trust my nanny to handle.

Good Luck! I know many people have found excellent nannies and are very happy with them and the extra money it costs is worth it. I wish that had been the case for us.

 

I have NO experience, but I wanted to say Good Luck with your decision!!! I am glad you asked because this is a really beneficial thread!! Great info in here!!! WIKI material?

Best wishes!!

 

Thank you All!! I have so much to think about and more questions to research!!! Thanks so much!

 

We have a nanny and we LOVE her. The boys love her too but wow it hurts writing that check at the end of the week. It is a lot of money to have an employee. If it was me I would go with the nanny and get her to take them to some classes or play dates so they can play with other kids. I feel like we just have to gut out the cost for another year or so and it will have given them a really loving nurturing start in life. Since you already know and like her, if you can afford it I would go for it, you can always send them back to daycare if it doesn't work out.