tired of hearing it!

You know what has really been getting on my nerves?!? I'm just starting to really show, so strangers and acquaintances are asking when I'm due....when I say in November, with twins, a lot of them GASP and say things like "OH NO! What are you going to do?" Well maybe not the "Oh no" part, but it sounds like "what a tragedy!" I've been told by "friends" things like "I'd hate to be in your shoes" and "I'd feel like I was jipped out of a pregnancy" The receptionist at the doctor's office even asked me why I didn't cry when I found out, and then said it must be because I don't know what I'm in for... Honestly since I have never had a baby before I'm not going to know the difference. Most of the time it's more like "What are you going to do?" though, with a gasp. Does anyone else have people saying things like this to them, and if so, what kind of replies do you have to say back to them?

 

Hi Aimee,
Sorry - get used to it. I just started getting to the point when people ask me what I'm having I say "a girl" b/c I don't want to hear any comments about my twins. Everyone's got something to say. I threw out my back in my second trimester and the nurse at my regular dr. said "oh you're having twins? are you happy?" What kind of question is that? I said yes - it's double the blessing (someone on here gave me that idea). People just don't think. Another good one is when someone says "I'm glad it's you and not me" say "me too!!!"
I wish I had a better sense of humor about it - maybe my hormones have gotten the best of me.

Someone posted a link to a really funny website that sold a t-shirt that had several responses on it to common twin comments - anyone remember where that site was? I'll try to find it and repost.

Anyway - good luck!!!

 

Here it is...
http://www.cafepress.com/buy/twins/-/pv_de...__aG___C/c_362/

 

People tell me things like that all the time! It gets on my nerves so bad!! Why cant they say something positive like congratulations instead acting like it's something horrible! we're happy we're having twins! The worst thing i've heard is "Wow, that's going to be expensive. You better get a job so ya'll can afford it!" I just people had positive things to say instead of acting like im cursed and that my kids are going to be little monsters!

 

Aimee i would have to agree with pp. it's only begun. it's only the "wow you look like your going to pop" and "oh, waht are you going to do" "better you than me" "are you happy" **My favorite to be annoyed by was "uhm, you do know how that happens right?" I wish that i could say it gets better but it only gets worse. Once the babies are born, it's a whole new ballgame. Stupider comments are to come - trust everyone on this. Infact, someone was commenting on DH and I having twins in Walmart the other day -mind you they're 11 months now- and they said "Oh, well i bet since you two know how that happened you wont be doing that again will you..." and I said "hmm, maybe you should have told us about the birds and the bee's sooner b/c we're due again in november..." and walked away. Duh we're responsible adults here and just because they may not like or want kids or had a hard time with them..doesnt mean that we dont like them. I have the time of my life with twins and iw oldnt take it back for the world and i think God picked everyone of us to have twins so the people that say better you than me....i say "Good, i agree with you, better me than you...." I think sometimes people just dont think.

 

I am glad also that God picked me to be a twin parent. I am very thankful that he picked us to be the parents of twins. I think it is going to be neat.

 

I get people asking me "Well what are you going to do about your son" I want so bad to say "Well we aren't going to need him any more, do you want him" But of course I don't. I tell him that we will figure it out just like everything else we have to figure it out.

I agree with pp. God chose me to have twins. I may not know why, but I do know that He knows that I can handle it. Out of all the people I know that are pregnant, He picked me to have twins. I feel blessed (still scared and nervous, but mostly blessed and proud.)

 

You know, with 5 kids, I get some really off-the-wall comments. I have learned that the people that make the not-so-nice comments, are usually the ones that have missed something along the way, and that is why they make the comments that they do. I think that the 2 main reasons for the comments are these...

#1 Jealousy...every mom is blessed, but we were blessed with twins, and I think sometimes people are jealous of that.
#2 Motherhood for them wasn't all that it was cracked up to be, and I guess they just think it's that way for everyone.


Try to remember the good comments...there are some! I love the people that walk by me with a big smile on their face, and say things like "oh, you are so blessed!". Comments like that make my day, and I am always so thankful when I hear one, it makes up for all of the negative stuff I hear! :hug99:

 

Yes, try and focus on the good comments. Those are the ones I remember the most. Honestly, I am proud to say I am expecting twins (I love the look on peoples faces) because not many women get to say that they are having two babies grow inside of them. It feels like an honor and a blessing.

The only bad comments were "You are not going to be able to work with twins." That is one, and I say, "I have too.... I have student loans to pay back, plus DH and I do want my career to be pushed to the side since I just graduated from college a year ago." I know I am not the only mother of twins to work.

When we told DH's friend that we were having twins, he said, "I don't know if I should congratulate you or tell you sorry." After four years of trying and over a year of fertility meds, we were absolutely blessed that we are having two babies.

Oh I cannot wait to hear the ones though when they arrive

April

 

I used to hate that!!!! and I hate to tell you this but it will only get worse....much worse.
and once your babies are born.....if you have girls no matter how girly they are dressed people will ask if they are boys - and if they are boys dressed very boyish they will ask if they are girls. and my girls are fraternal so a couple of people (fil included) have told me that they aren't twins hust born at the same time??!!! so I don't think the stupid comments ever end!!!

 

Try to let it roll off your back, because it does only get worse. I will have 4 under 4 and I can't wait, but so many women apparently don't enjoy motherhood as much as I do! My new comeback for "you're going to have your hands full", is "I can't think of anything else I'd rather have my hands full of...". The other big one I get is that people assume the twins were an "accident" and so they say "Well, I guess this is is for you?" (someone even asked if I was getting my tubes tied after this??????) to this DH and I say "We'll see" or "well we're going to be outnumbered anyway, so why not have more!".

Once you get a few little one liners down, the look on people's faces is priceless. People are so negative, but hang in there. You will get to a place were it is more comical than frustrating.

Jen

 

Arrgh, I HATE those comments. And unfortunately, like the other posters said, it doesn't stop. I HATE the looks of horror and disgust. And most of these comments I've noticed come from people who DON'T have twins. They don't have a clue. Definitely focus on the positive comments. I LOVE having twins.

 

Yes you are not alone. I think most of us have had mean things said to us when people found out we are having twins. I will be 30 weeks tomorrow and now it seems that the comments have changed to you are going to have your hands full and your going to need more help than you think. DH and I tell people God would not give us more than he thinks we can handle. That always shuts them up.

 

All I know is that is the GREATEST thing that has ever happened to me!!! It is wonderful - just remember that!!!!

jen

 

Ditto on the GET USED TO IT After you have the twins and are out and about you will get even MORE nice, odd, no so nice comments. B) Either take it in stride or ignore it or as I did, think of some funny comeback that make the people stop and think for a second. Like my fav was telling them one was 7 montsh and the other 8 months

 

QUOTE(1girltwinboyz @ May 21 2007, 12:16 PM) [snapback]263218[/snapback]
Ditto on the GET USED TO IT After you have the twins and are out and about you will get even MORE nice, odd, no so nice comments. B) Either take it in stride or ignore it or as I did, think of some funny comeback that make the people stop and think for a second. Like my fav was telling them one was 7 montsh and the other 8 months



LOL I was just so surpised to hear it that I didn't know what to say back! I mean what do people expect me to say, something like, "Yes, it is very unfortunate, we are thinking of only keeping 1 since that's what we had planned on"?????? I have been saying "well since I don't have any right now, I am not going to know any different so I'm sure I'll be fine." I actually am VERY VERY glad to be having twins! Most women can have 1 baby and it is so special to be having 2! I think you are right, txtwinmom2b, none of the people that make rude comments have twins. I have met 2 people recently that have twins and a singleton, and both say that they loved having twins...in fact, the one I met on Saturday said if she'd had her singleton first, she would have never had the twins...

 

i have answered, yes, we will be auctioning off the uglier baby....would you like to bid?

sandra

 

The good news is: for every lame comment like the ones you desribed you will get many more complimentary and kind comments. To be honest, I don't really notice the mean-spirited or ignorant comments anymore. Now I get lots and lots of oohhh's and ahhhh's everywhere we go and lots of people telling me how lucky I am. Those ones make me smile, because we really are a lucky group of women!

Reyna

 

QUOTE(spinhermie @ May 21 2007, 01:57 PM) [snapback]263390[/snapback]
i have answered, yes, we will be auctioning off the uglier baby....would you like to bid?

sandra



LOL! That is so funny!

 

I have started having fun getting people with one liners!

I figure, this is a time to have fun and I can always blame it on "double the hormones"

 

I used to get three distinctly different types of responses when I told people I was having twins...

From people with no children I got the "I'm sorry's" and "oh God what are you going to do's"

From people with young children I would get all kinds of advice on how to take care of them

From people with older children/teenagers I got the "God bless you's" :lol:

take it all with a grain of salt because the minute you have them and take them into public it is a whole new ballgame of comments!

 

QUOTE(spinhermie @ May 21 2007, 02:57 PM) [snapback]263390[/snapback]
i have answered, yes, we will be auctioning off the uglier baby....would you like to bid?

sandra

Too funny! I love it!

 

You know, I haven't gotten anything really mean-spirited yet....I'm sure it will come, though! Mostly, I've heard "God bless you!" and "Bless your heart!" -- both of which I choose to take positively, no matter how it's said, LOL.

My dental hygienist told me I was very brave -- which cracked me up, because it's not like I had a huge choice in the matter. And, I've heard from three different people that DH and I will have to switch to zone defense, to manage all three kiddos. I think that's funny.

The only thing that's bugged me so far is the nosy people who ask HOW this happened, in other words, did we do fertility treatments.....I'm a very private person, and by no means do I want to share that information with a stranger.....on occasion, I have retorted with, "Why do you ask?"

 

QUOTE(AimeeS @ May 20 2007, 06:19 PM) [snapback]262475[/snapback]
Here it is...
http://www.cafepress.com/buy/twins/-/pv_de...__aG___C/c_362/



i love the shirts on cafepress! so many good twin ones!

 

i got a "good luck" from someone.
someone else said, "ifyou have a boy and a girl, you're done!" i said, "no, we won't be done." and she said, "come back to me in 2 years and tell me that!" i said, "ok."
from a girl who has no kids, i got, "oh my god, that's gonna be so hard for you!" yeah, ok, single woman with no kids.

 

Yeah it bugs the crap outta me when people accuse me of using fertility meds. Some women need to use fertility meds to have a baby period. The extra baby is an extra blessing for thier hardship in my mind. But some people think that that's the only way to get twins and we must be looking for attention. It annoies me when people seem to think they just "know" we used meds. I turn my hubby loose on em, cuz he's never tired of sharing how he's the man and his lil soldiers can really do thier job. I'm sorry, but yeah it's possible to have twins without meds. People ask, "Did you have help?"- implying the use of meds, so I say, "Well I couldn't of done it without my hubby there!" ^_^ I was about 25wks around Mother's day and a lady asked me if I was even going to make it to mother's day, I replied, "Well I sure hope so!" Not that she knew how far along I was and that there is twins, but it caught me off guard. Ditto the 'double the hormones'!!!

 

My favorite list of stupid comments thus far:

I am barely 5ft tall and the first one I got is "is there going to be room for both of them?"
"how will you fit two babies?" You know, they might not fit, should I get rid of one?
"are they natural?" As if the fact that these are IVF babies is somehow akin to wearing polyester.
"do twins run in your family?" - -- - what, pray tell, are you going to do with this information about my family tree?
"Oh, wouldn't it be great if it were one boy and one girl, then you would be all done" This frequently comes from people who do not even know me so why would they assume I want only 2 children.

And, from my best friend in the entire world - I'm not kidding - she said "I would kill myself if I found out I was having twins"

I've been on bedrest with these doublets for 7weeks and the other one I hate for some reason is "oh, i couldn't do that. I would go crazy" are you telling me there are things you wouldn't do for your babies? if that's the case, then its a good thing you aren't pg with twins.

I don't get out much these days, and the comments when I do go out are more along the lines of "you are ready to pop!" "is today the day?" etc. I especially like it when people ask "is it a boy or a girl" and I respond "maybe one of each!" and they look delighted and say "oh wow! twins!!"

m.

 

Mama, it is hilarious that the first question I always get is "are they natural". As a woman underwent a great deal of fertility treatment, I say I got two for the price of 1!! These days I just tell people they are natural and yes, dh and I have twins on both sides of our family just so folks will leave us alone!

m.