Tips on establishing a schedule

Hi ladies,

My girls will be 3.5 months on Monday. We haven't really established any kind of routine/schedule and it's starting to drive me nuts. I was hoping you ladies could help me out.

Our days are all over the place, and it probably isn't helping that they aren't on the same feeding schedule. I wish they both woke up at the same time in the a.m. as it would make things a little easier. I can't get myself to wake the other one up. Btw, I'm formula feeding them.

Here's what I have going right now....

Girls go down around 10 at night which is a little too late, but that's the way it's been working out. They have been getting up anywhere between 8 and 9:30am which is heaven. I haven't really put them down for a morning nap b/c they just seem to fall asleep wherever they are... like the bouncy, playmat, tummy mat. I would like for them to have a morning nap, but since they are getting up on the later side, I don't know what time I should put them back down. 3 hours, 4 hours after their first feeding? I like to put them down for an afternoon nap at 3pm, but they will sleep until 6-6:30 if I let them. Should I be waking them up? If so, how long should I let them go? Maybe 3:00 is too late for a afternoon nap? Feeling a little overwhelmed right now.

Do you ladies have any tips/advice for me? I would love to hear them.

Thank you.

 

First of all, I would suggest that you feed them at the same time or at least one right after the other. And I would surely wake the other baby up. I know it is hard, but it is important that you do. My boys are 4 months old and we have had a working schedule since the first week they were home. I just made a point to stick with it, even when it was hard to.

Once things really starting clicking it took me a few days to find a schedule that worked best for me and my husband (because we are the parents, so we set the schedule ) - but once we figured it out, it took about 3-4 days for the boys to catch on. So, don't be discouraged if once you start a schedule it seems like its not going right - it will.

This is what we do: The boys sleep 12 hours at night - I wake them up at 8:00am (If not already awake) and I feed them. They are still so sleepy, so they only stay awake for an hour or an hour and a half at the most. Their morning nap is the longest by far! They are still "Sleep Drunk" from the night. They go four hours inbetween feedings in the morning and then every 3 hours in the afternoon.

This is what it looks like:

8:00 Wake up and Feed
8:30 Playtime
9:00 Nap

12:00 Feed (I always wake them up for their scheduled feedings if they are already not awake)
12:30 Playtime
1:30 Naptime (I always put them down an hour and a half after they wake)

3:00 Feed
3:30 Playtime
4:30 Naptime

6:00 Feed
6:30 Playtime (this is the time that we are still trying to work out. I try to keep them awake until their last feeding at 8, but sometimes they are so cranky that I will lay them down for a cat nap then wake them up to feed at 8-8:30)

8:00 Feed/Bedtime

I hope this helps. I LOVE schedules and have a lot of having one!

By advice for starting one is to stick with it, even when it seems they arent taking to it - give it a few days and they will! Babies LOVE routine and schedules - they thrive on it. And it is so good for the parents - you have a predictable day and predictable babies! When we take our boys to the nursery at church I am able to tell them when they will be sleepy and when they will wake up, etc... It gives me a peace of mind that my boys are peaceful.

 

If they get up at 8:00am, I would start putting them down at 8:00pm. Also, I would put them down for a nap 1.5 hours after they wake up from overnight sleep or naps. I have always fed mine when they first get up. So, I would suggest eat, play, sleep for you.

8am eat/play
9:30am sleep
11:00am eat/play
12:30pm sleep
2:00pm eat/play
3:30pm sleep
5:00pm eat/play

Here's the tricky part. Putting them in a late nap will throw off the sleep schedule - like for putting them down at 8Pm. You can either keep a late bedtime or give an earlier bedtime of say, 7:00pm. Sometimes if they go to sleep much later than that they become overtired. However, not all babies are exactly the same. These are only suggestions, so mommy can pick and choose what (if anything) will work for your babies .

 

I have read several different books and I am horrible and keeping to schedules but here is what we do and it has made my life so much easier!! And the babies are so much happier!

I put them down one hour after they wake up, no matter what time they wake up.

After that first nap I will put them down 1 1/2-2 hours after waking. I also will not go in to get them if they wake before the 45 minute mark. It sort of teaches them to sleep a little longer and self soothe. Sometimes if I let them just cry 5 minutes at that 45 minute mark they will go back to sleep for another hour which is heaven!!

And then I put them back down 2 hours after the second nap wake up time. Sometimes they need a mini nap at about 5:30-6. And then I put them to bed for the night at 7:30pm. Yours will get to the point where the earlier bed time will work better. Just slowly start working them back from your 10pm time frame in 15-30 minute increments. They are still a little young for schedules but I find you have to train yourself before you can train them. As they get older they can stay awake longer between naps.

Here is my sample schedule (doesn't always work this way but its what I aim for):

8:00am wake/feed
9:00am nap
10:00am wake
11:00am feed
12:00pm nap
2:00pm wake/feed
4:00pm nap
5:00pm wake/feed
7:00pm feed
7:30-8 bedtime

Just figure out what works best for you and stick to it. Consistency is the key.

 

For me, a schedule sort of naturally developed. When they were born, we HAD to feed them every 3 hours- we also had to wake them, so this probably helped to develop a routine. They naturally went to feeding every 4 hours around 3 months or so. Then, after I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, our naps developed because I learned they should only have 2 hours max of wake time. My girls can handle 1 1/2 hours of wake. I always always feed them at the same time too.

Here is our schedule:
6 am wake/feed (sometimes I will let them sleep and they wake at 6:30)
7 or 7:30 nap
9ish wake
10 feed
11:30 nap
12:30-2:00 they will wake it depends on how tired they are
2:00 feed
3:30 nap
4:30 or 5 wake/play
5:30 feed they seem to get hungry by this time (on bath days bath goes here and feeding is pushed back)
6 or 6:30 bed- start bedtime routine which takes about half an hour
2 am DH wakes them to feed (if we let them sleep they would wake at 4:30, so we wake them)

 

Thank you ladies. This is exactly what I was looking for. Thanks for posting your schedules. I have two more questions....1) when you put them down for naps, do you let them CIO or are they so used to going down for a nap, that they just go right to sleep? 2) When do you all get out of the house? That's the one thing I worry about with having a schedule....can I ever get out? It's not easy going somewhere with them as you all know, but I get antsy and need to get out.

 

QUOTE(lovinglife @ Aug 9 2008, 11:32 AM) [snapback]922135[/snapback]
Thank you ladies. This is exactly what I was looking for. Thanks for posting your schedules. I have two more questions....1) when you put them down for naps, do you let them CIO or are they so used to going down for a nap, that they just go right to sleep? 2) When do you all get out of the house? That's the one thing I worry about with having a schedule....can I ever get out? It's not easy going somewhere with them as you all know, but I get antsy and need to get out.



I agree with (SweetGirl) Pamela's schedule, that is also how I did it at 3.5 months, 90 minutes of awake time and 90 minutes nap. When mine were 3.5 months old after 90 minutes they were good and tired. I'd usually rock them for a few minutes and they'd fall asleep, or they'd be very drowsy and easily fall asleep when I put them down. I didn't really do CIO, they were always good and tired! Just make sure you stimulate them a lot during the awake time and they'll get tired!

You can get out of the house for small trips at any time really. You can still stick to the schedule when you are out and about. Or you can plan your trips so that you leave right after they eat, and then you've got 2 hours before you need to feed them again.

I take my babies out and about every single day. There is never a day we sit at home all day, I'd go stir crazy. That doesn't mean I have them out all day though either. I plan my outings around their schedule. I try to take them out during the awake time, right after they eat.

 

QUOTE(SweetGirl @ Aug 9 2008, 07:46 AM) [snapback]921871[/snapback]
If they get up at 8:00am, I would start putting them down at 8:00pm. Also, I would put them down for a nap 1.5 hours after they wake up from overnight sleep or naps. I have always fed mine when they first get up. So, I would suggest eat, play, sleep for you.

8am eat/play
9:30am sleep
11:00am eat/play
12:30pm sleep
2:00pm eat/play
3:30pm sleep
5:00pm eat/play

Here's the tricky part. Putting them in a late nap will throw off the sleep schedule - like for putting them down at 8P m. You can either keep a late bedtime or give an earlier bedtime of say, 7:00pm. Sometimes if they go to sleep much later than that they become overtired. However, not all babies are exactly the same. These are only suggestions, so mommy can pick and choose what (if anything) will work for your babies .


Ugh. Every time I put Eight pm in (the numbers) I get this 8Pm. I just have to remember. So, sorry the post wasn't more clear.

To answer your other questions :
Sometimes they cry up to 15-20 minutes. That's because they're tired, usually. It's status quo for them. Usually Annalise is 5 minutes of crying, Nikola used to go 15-20 minutes, now he just babbles for a little while. They both go down at the same time and that made a huge difference from the early days.

I used to get out of the house right after I fed them. Keep a diaper bag stocked and your good to go.

 

Thank you ladies.

Sorry, I have two more questions.....

I would love for them to go down for the night at eight so I will definitely give it a try. However, if they go down that early, I don't think they will sleep until 8am. I'm thinking more like 6am. So, if that's the case, should I just start my day at 6:30am with naps every hour and a half until nighttime? Also, I fed them at the same time this a.m. and just put them down for a nap after 1.5 hours of awake time. They should be sleeping another hour, but I hear one of them starting to stir. If she starts to cry, should I go get her, or leave her until the 1.5 hour mark?

Thanks again ladies! I just feel completely overwhelmed and can't think straight.

 

QUOTE(lovinglife @ Aug 9 2008, 11:32 AM) [snapback]922135[/snapback]
Thank you ladies. This is exactly what I was looking for. Thanks for posting your schedules. I have two more questions....1) when you put them down for naps, do you let them CIO or are they so used to going down for a nap, that they just go right to sleep? 2) When do you all get out of the house? That's the one thing I worry about with having a schedule....can I ever get out? It's not easy going somewhere with them as you all know, but I get antsy and need to get out.


1) when you put them down for naps, do you let them CIO or are they so used to going down for a nap, that they just go right to sleep?
neither! I can't do CIO. I tried and I lasted like 1 min. I think they are too young. Mine are more used to napping, but the key is getting them down *before* they are overtired! There is a very small window of time, and I often miss it. But if I watch the clock and put them down 1 to 1 1/2 hours after being awake they are usually fine. We also have a nap time routine. I put Sofia in her sleep sack, give her a paci, rock her while singing Twinkle Twinkle (they LOVE it) then I keep rocking until she is very drowsy or asleep. Then I put her down- she usually wakes a little but I rub her back and sing again and she is usually fine.
For Maya, well, sometimes I still just let her sleep in the swing- like right now It was just easier to do the routine w/ Sofia and put Maya in the swing. But sometimes I will put her down after Sofia. This is pretty much our bedtime routine too for now.

2) When do you all get out of the house? That's the one thing I worry about with having a schedule....can I ever get out?
Heehee. Before they had as much of a schedule I could go out whenever and they would sleep. But at 4 months, they started becoming more interested in the world around them so they will NOT sleep if we are out. They will sleep in the car though. I try to do things from 11-1, even though that is a nap time. If they miss this one it's not so bad. Or I can do things from 3-5. It's not great, they do get a little fussy later at night, but sometimes I have to go out.

 

QUOTE(lovinglife @ Aug 9 2008, 12:14 PM) [snapback]922176[/snapback]
Thank you ladies.

Sorry, I have two more questions.....

I would love for them to go down for the night at eight so I will definitely give it a try. However, if they go down that early, I don't think they will sleep until 8am. I'm thinking more like 6am. So, if that's the case, should I just start my day at 6:30am with naps every hour and a half until nighttime? Also, I fed them at the same time this a.m. and just put them down for a nap after 1.5 hours of awake time. They should be sleeping another hour, but I hear one of them starting to stir. If she starts to cry, should I go get her, or leave her until the 1.5 hour mark?

Thanks again ladies! I just feel completely overwhelmed and can't think straight.


They may sleep longer than you think if you put them down early! Do they still wake at night? Try putting them down at 8 and see what happens. If they wake at 6 or 6:30, start the day then. And yes, naps every hour and a half or so.
As for naps, the book I read said they need to be an hour or more long. I try to have them sleep that long. Today Sofia napped at 11:30 and was awake at 12:00. So I soothed her back to sleep. Maya also at about 1, but Sofia was still asleep so I put Maya back to sleep (that doesn't always work). You can try to soothe her, but if she is really awake not much you can do. However, I have also noticed that for mine anyway, if they wake up crying, they are still tired. If they wake up happy, they are done napping.

 

You will find with each age group on here there is a "common" sleep schedule for that age group amongst the mothers who have decent sleep schedules with their babies. I found when mine were yours age they had a 8 pm bedtime. Then I found their naps were messy and at about 6 months or so I moved it up to 6:30. My day does start at 6:30 am now but it is worth it (I'm not a morning person).... for my girls to have two GREAT naps during the day and sleep 95% of everynight for 11 hours.... Yup I'll take the earlier morning. I get to enjoy the evenings with my dh and my supper.

I found reading a variet of books on schedule helped... HSHHC and Babywise (not as good). I've heard the baby whisperer is good too. Read then write down your plan of attack. Sometimes what is working right now for you might be the best for your family too.

I did find at about 6 months of age I was able to look more at the clock than watch them for sleep signs.

Best of luck to you.

Heather

 

1) when you put them down for naps, do you let them CIO or are they so used to going down for a nap, that they just go right to sleep?
At the beginning (Around 6-8 weeks) they would cry when I would lay them down. They cried EVERY time so I reevaluated how I did things and came to find out that I was not calming them down for nap. They would go from a LOUD, BRIGHT enviroment, to all of a sudden a quiet room. So, I started taking them into the nursery, swaddling them and reading a book or singing. Then I would lay them down before they fell asleep, but to where I knew they were calmed down. That helped a lot. Now, I just lay them down and walk out right away. If they fuss, I will let them fuss for a little bit and if I hear the LOUD cry, then I quietly go in and put a pacifier and walk out. During their afternoon/evening nap I have to let them cry for 15-20 minutes, then go in pat their back, etcc... then put them back down. Usually it only takes one set of 15-20 minutes and then they are asleep. They will get the hang of the naps and not protest them. It's wonderful.

2) When do you all get out of the house? That's the one thing I worry about with having a schedule....can I ever get out?

To me, the best thing about a schedule is that you can get out of the house. I know exactly when they are going to eat, so I do not have to worry if they are going to get hungry while we are out. I usually have everything ready to go before I feed them, then I feed and head out. If I know I am going to be gone during their feeding I take a bottle and will just feed while I am out. Normally, they will nap in their carseats. Then by the time we get home, it is normally time to feed again, so I feed and most of the time put them straight down for a nap, because they wouldn't have gotten a good nap while we were out. We go out all the time and the boys do great!

3) I would love for them to go down for the night at eight so I will definitely give it a try. However, if they go down that early, I don't think they will sleep until 8am. I'm thinking more like 6am. So, if that's the case, should I just start my day at 6:30am with naps every hour and a half until nighttime?

When we first started pushing our bedtime back, it took about 2 weeks to get it where we wanted it. For a while they were still waking up at 7am... So I would feed them then and start our schedule based on that. If I pushed the nightime feeding up and at 7 they werent awake, I would let them sleep as long as they would and gradually it just went later and later. Now, they are waking up around 8-8:30. If they are not awake by 8:30 then I wake them up. If I notice that I have to always wake them up, then I will move their bedtime back again.

I would gradually move the bedtime up and see how long they will go in the morning - and just keep working with it like that.

4) Also, I fed them at the same time this a.m. and just put them down for a nap after 1.5 hours of awake time. They should be sleeping another hour, but I hear one of them starting to stir. If she starts to cry, should I go get her, or leave her until the 1.5 hour mark?

Normally with my boys it is odd if they wake up that early from a nap - so when they do I know that something is bothering them, or they are really not going to stay awake. If they are CRYING, then I go in and check to see if they may still have a burp and I will reswaddle and repaci. I will keep doing that for about 30 minutes. If they are not calmed down by then, then I will get them. We are currently staying with my folks, so there are a lot of people around that would love to cuddle for 30 minutes before a feeding. If they are just "fussing" then I will either leave them alone or just repaci them. As long as they are not inconsolable, then I leave them until it is wake up time. The hardest part right now is when they are cooing and babbling. I want to pick them up to play with them, but I want them to know that they have to stay put until it is time to get up - just trying to train for the future.