Tips for successful car rides. PLEASE HELP!!!

Ok, a lot of you read my post about my 18 mo. olds throwing tantrums, etc lately. Well, it's 100 times worse when we are in the car. Most anything from us is around 20-30 minutes away, so not too bad. But, anytime we try to visit the grandparents...one set is 1.5 hours away and the other is an hour away, I go INSANE!! DH and I fight about who gets to drive I normally HATE driving, but anymore, I WANT to drive b/c that means I do'nt have to entertain the twins.

They are just fussy, whiney, crying, screaming monsters in the car. They throw their toys, sippies, loveys....to the point where we can't reach them anymore. We let them just cry for a bit, but it gets so frustrating. Nothing will calm them down in the car. They are squirming, etc. to get out. Once we get to our destination, they are FINE! The second we are back in the car, it all breaks loose again. UGH!

So, short of getting a prescription for Valium in order to stand car rides anymore anybody have any suggestions??

I thought about one of those DVD players that comes with 2 screens. But, my girls are NOT TV watchers at home. They really won't "watch" TV for more than 5 minutes at home. So, I do'nt know if that is a waste of $$ or not.

In the meantime, I've banned trips to the grandparents or anywhere that is farther b/c it's not worth the stress

P.S. Reagan will only fall asleep in the car if it's at night and dark out. Morgan won't fall asleep at all anymore.

 

Ok, a lot of you read my post about my 18 mo. olds throwing tantrums, etc lately. Well, it's 100 times worse when we are in the car. Most anything from us is around 20-30 minutes away, so not too bad. But, anytime we try to visit the grandparents...one set is 1.5 hours away and the other is an hour away, I go INSANE!! DH and I fight about who gets to drive I normally HATE driving, but anymore, I WANT to drive b/c that means I do'nt have to entertain the twins.

They are just fussy, whiney, crying, screaming monsters in the car. They throw their toys, sippies, loveys....to the point where we can't reach them anymore. We let them just cry for a bit, but it gets so frustrating. Nothing will calm them down in the car. They are squirming, etc. to get out. Once we get to our destination, they are FINE! The second we are back in the car, it all breaks loose again. UGH!

So, short of getting a prescription for Valium in order to stand car rides anymore anybody have any suggestions??

I thought about one of those DVD players that comes with 2 screens. But, my girls are NOT TV watchers at home. They really won't "watch" TV for more than 5 minutes at home. So, I do'nt know if that is a waste of $$ or not.

In the meantime, I've banned trips to the grandparents or anywhere that is farther b/c it's not worth the stress

P.S. Reagan will only fall asleep in the car if it's at night and dark out. Morgan won't fall asleep at all anymore.

 

I think that you should give the DVD player a try. Buy one that mounts on the ceiling between them and they can both see it from their seats. Buy DVD's that are music-based and soothing (Baby Neptune and Neighbourhood Animals from the Baby Einstein series were my girls' favorites). Even just music may work. I used to slip in a Barney lullabye tape when I put the girls in the car when they were really young and it had a calming effect. There is nothing more stressful than unhappy children when you are on a long drive. I hope you get some good suggestions!

 

Try the DVD player. We have one in my SUV. It is funny when we get in and they both point to the roof asking us to put on the DVD. We have HBO classical baby dance in the car. I only use it for long car rides.

 

Becky...our boys started getting like that about that age and we bought a DVD player for our vehicle. It was one of the best purchases we've ever made! Our boys weren't big TV watchers at home either, but they LOVE the DVD player in the car so they can watch "moo-bees." We just bought the DVD player from Wal-Mart with the dual screens that strap on the headrests and it works fine. We didn't want to spend a huge amount of money not knowing if they would like them or not, but they do.

Good luck and if you have any questions, please let me know!

 

Mine love their DVDs in the van for long trips too. Michael wasn't much of an at home TV watcher but he does like it on long trips. He really hates being confined and this does seem to keep his mind off of it.

 

We play CDs. The Wiggles is a favorite-- they are even starting to sing the words to the songs! While it is annoying to DH and I it usually calms them down and keeps them humming for the car ride. So we deal with it. I am not ready to turn on the DVD players for them yet.

 

Hi! We have a dvd player too. For the most part, our kids are okay in the car, but when they get super fussy, we turn on the dvd player and that usually works for awhile. Also, I got tired of rescuing sippies, snacks and toys from the floor, so I stopped doing it. We almost never let them eat or drink in the car (and take it from them before we even put jackets on)... but if we're on a long trip and we've given them something to eat or drink, we don't pick them up once they've been tossed. The first couple of rides like that were miserable, but after that, they got the message. Now they put their cups in the cup holders next to them and are careful with what they are eating. Now if something falls, it's such a rare occasion that I know it was an accident and don't mind getting it for them. Like I said, it was a rough couple of outings, but I think it was a good lesson in not throwing food and cups.

As far as toys, I only let them have things they can keep strapped to their car seats... small magnadoodles that have a clip and other clip-on toys. Now if they go "overboard" they can pull them back up themselves.

I would say try to do more car rides than less... the more you do it, the more they realize that this is part of life. When it was bad, DH and I would just try to laugh or have our conversation over the whining and screaming. It definitely wasn't easy, but they are really quite good in the car now. Good luck!! This 18 months+ age has been really rough in our house too... but now at 20 months... it's definitely starting to get better. Hang in there!

-rosie

 

I would try the DVD player. You may also want to try ignoring some of the behavior. Like when they throw something away don't keep getting it for them. Hang in there. We used to have battles getting into the car, but I was just consistent with it and eventually they stopped throwing fits at the sight of the car seat.

 

For longer trips, the DVD player is the only way to go. I can't offer any suggestions for shorter trips, as mine are getting to be little pills in the car as well. But when we drive to the inlaws (45-60 min away), we put on a DVD and it is silent the whole way there.

 

Oh, I so understand your pain. I have a DVD player but my DD doesn't care for tv. She is my feisty one. The ignoring suggestion is really the way to go, if you can handle it. The behavior gets worse before it gets better, so it may take a little bit for it to improve. Consistency is the key. Here's the thing, though. I have hard time with it too. I dread the ride to childcare and back. It's so hard to deal with it when I'm on my way to and from work. Good luck!

 

My first thought was about their car seats. Are they uncomfortable? or do you think it is just the idea of being contained?

I have never had a problem with K&K in the car and only borrowed a dvd player one time and barely used it. We travel alot on the weekends, it is an hour to their grandparents and two hours to their dad's. Most of these trips I don't have to do anything in terms of entertainment at all, they really are great riders. I was thinking along the lines of Rosie though, I would keep trying it more not less. The more they get do it, as long as they are not uncomfortable which is why I mentioned their seats, the more they will come to learn what is expected of them and what is acceptable.

I will not give up my music in the car (I know bad mommy) but the K team love my music and we take turns picking songs, as long as it is on the same album, I will not change cd's continuously for them. For longer trips (we do 5+ hours a couple times a year and usually I am the only adult with them) I do bring snacks, drinks, books, drawing pads, etch a sketches etc etc but that is usually anything that is over a two hour ride.

I hope you are able to conquer this real soon, I guess I have taken it for granted how good K&K are at traveling and I probably shouldn't!

 

DVD player Becky!! We just returned last night from Tahoe which is 4 hours away, and thank goodness for our DVD player. They too, are very fussy in the car and throw everything. Paul and I always Roshambo as to who is driving!! I also have been giving them the travel size Doodle for them to write and play with. As soon as Sesame Street is on, it is quiet in our car for the full hour. Can you borrow someone's to see if the girls like it?? Good Luck, and Happy New Year.
Kathy

 

quote:
DVD player Becky!!

Mine are road warriors and are never a problem in the car. We even did a 16hr straight drive from NY to GA in Oct. without a peep from them. We took our Elmo dvds and Baby Einstein. When they started to get restless, we popped them in and all was well. It's worth the money. We bought a dual screen dvd at Sam's for $248. They velcro to the back of the front seat head rests. The cool thing about these is that they each will play the SAME movie or DIFFERENT movies. That will be a plus as they get older and don't want to watch the same thing. BUY IT!!!!

Angela

 

No suggestions just big hugs bc/ mine scream and cry the entire time as well. We do have a DVD player in the van and it makes no difference. Mine cry so hard they vomit. It makes being in the car HORRIBLE....

 

These are my only pointers:

Some times of day seem to be better than others. Mine generally are great in the car at around 9 or 10 AM.

Or drive during nap time -- eventually they fall asleep. (Jade has the same problem and sometimes it takes her a long time in the car, but if she's tired, she usually falls asleep after some whining after about an hour.)

Play their sleepy time music.

Also, sometimes I use Dramamine because mine both have a history of horrible carsickness. And it knocks them out pretty good. But I wouldn't really suggest it if you don't think queasiness is the issue.

And all that said, when we get our new car (sometime in 2007), it will definitely have built in DVD players. My kids love their "shows".

 

quote:
My first thought was about their car seats. Are they uncomfortable? or do you think it is just the idea of being contained?


I sure hope that's not the case. They are riding in the lap of luxury in their Britax Marathons...probably more comfortable than my seat.

I think part of the problem is on the longer trips (1-2 hours) they are just plain bored! Most days, they are either not in the car at all (when I work from home those 2 days, I can't just up and leave and take them somewhere) or only in there a small amount of time. On the days they are at the sitter's, she is only 2 blocks away. So, ANY travel time is done on the weekends and that's about it. They go to bed between 6:30-7:00, so with DH not getting home until around 6, then dinner, then it's off to bed, so we don't get them out in the car much during the week.

I am definitely going to get a DVD player and try it out. Heck, if it doesn't work with them now, it will come in handy in the future! There were some sales at WalMart and Target, so we'll see.

Thanks ladies, I always know I can count on you!

 

I'll be the one dissenter. I'm still anti-DVD player in the car. (Gameboys, too). I'm not anti-TV at home, but I like the idea of my kids entertaining themselves and even just sitting and thinking and seeing their surroundings in the car without being entertained by a screen. We took a lot of long family road trips when I was a kid, and I learned to really love being in the car and just seeing the countryside.

When Jackson was little, he was a BRUTAL traveler. We take a lot of 90-minute trips to the in-laws, and he would scream the whole time. If DH and I were both there, I would sit next to Jackson in back and read him books, supply him with snacks, etc. As he got older and stopped screaming so much, we started bringing magnadoodles and other car-friendly toys.

Last summer, we took a 6-hour family road trip in DH's Scion (a little cramped!). We brought new toys/books to reveal every few hours and made plenty of potty stops. We also played a lot of I Spy while looking out the windows, and we read the AAA brochures to the kids that told us about the cities we were passing through. Also, Jackson had a kids' road atlas on which he could mark down which license plates we found, so all three kids were actively checking all vehicles we passed to see where they were from. I'm afraid if I'd started them on the car DVD early, they'd be in the habit and need constant visual entertainment while traveling. Maybe it's an unfounded fear, but without the DVD, I've got fairly patient travelers who enjoy learning about the places they're traveling through. (Not to mention we have some great family conversations!)

 

quote:
I'll be the one dissenter.
Not the only one, we did a 30 hour each way drive way to Florida and back with no DVD player.

 

We just got home Sunday after a 2200 mile, round trip drive to Indiana. My kids did excellant the entire drive there. I was amazed. We went to the dollar store and got a bunch of toys/activities for them to put in their own backpacks to occupy them on the drive. (Lightsticks are a huge hit with my kids)The ride home was not so good, but they caught a stomach bug and we couldn't drive as fast because Nebraska was covered in ice.

My twins used to react the exact same way when we drove that trip the last time (on our move out to colorado). They had carsickness (didn't know it at the time lol) and they were just uncomfortable. I bought them new carseats before this trip since they needed them and the new seats helped a lot since they are so much more padded on their little bums.

 

sorry no suggestions. mine sleep in the car if i do the whole bedtime routine and then put them in the car seats to sleep and tell them night night. we just drove 12-14 hr in the car with them to Ohio for Christmas and DH drove all night. They slept most of the way. Alexis did wake up part way thru and stayed awake for 3 hrs. it was difficult trying to get her to go back to sleep. there was so much to look at as we went thru Chicago-land. mine don't do DVDs either.

the key I've found is to have them run run run just before they are getting into the car. then they are ready to sit for a while and they are less likely to beg to get out and walk to wherever we are going LOL.