Tips for getting them to sit at the table

I feel like we are nearing a transition between high chairs and "big boy" chairs and I can already see some challenges so I'm hoping you all can give me some advice. I'll try to keep this brief but I'm hoping you can help me with both home and at my in-laws (who watch the boys two days a week).

At home they are in their high chairs still for lunch and dinner. For about the past two weeks I have started to let them sit in regular or as they call it "big boy" chairs for breakfast. They will sit maybe 5-10 minutes..sometimes longer but then they are up playing. Sometimes they come back for another bite..but I insist they sit and eat. I don't let them take the food with them on the run. I find it all very nerve wracking...the up and down...which is why I haven't allowed it for lunch or dinner! So...how did you all handle the transition? What were your rules and how did you enforce them at this age? Am I expecting too much for their age?

Ok...at my in-laws is another story. Here they have these lion booster chairs that strap into regular chairs. Lately we have had a horrible time getting them to sit for any meal. I think part of the problem is that there is not a consistent place where they eat. Sometimes they are at the kitchen table, sometimes at the dining room table, sometimes even in the living room at a card table so they can watch tv (yes I know that is not good!) I have let it go because I know that it is a challenge to watch two by yourself, prepare a meal and then actually try to get them to sit down and eat it. Plus they are wonderful grandparents who take really great care of them! But now anytime we gather as a family the boys really put up a fight about coming to the table to eat. They seem to hate to be strapped in so we have tried just without the straps or sitting them in regular chairs but they only stay a few minutes and then they are gone. It's really starting to bother me because I am feeling like the family is looking at me or my husband as if we are not doing something right. My mother-in-law said to me recently that she would really like to figure out a way that we could all sit down together as a family and eat. And my brother-in-law said to me today "do you have trouble getting the boys to sit down and eat at home?" so I know he and my sister-in-law were discussing our parenting skills.

Thanks for listening and for any advice you might have.

 

I had the same problem. Their chairs are the restuarant style chairs and I removed the top bar so they can get in and out of them by themselves. They would sit for the first half of their meals but after that, they would get up and run around.

My one son was feeding his brother his food. I'm glad he's sharing, but I would prefer if they eat their own food in their own chair.

What I've been doing is giving them a warning that if they don't sit and eat, I will strap them in. If they fuss or throw a tantrum when they are strapped in, mealtime is over.

For your home, I would suggest getting booster chairs with straps.

Now for your inlaws:

They need to be consistent in their own home. I know it may be eaiser to sit them in front of the tv to eat, but that is what they are going to prefer and you'll never get them to sit at the dining room table for meals.

Have your inlaws give the same warning as above. You either sit and eat, get strapped in, or mealtime is over.

 

We always had the girls in boosters until right around 3. At that point I took boosters away but said they either sit at the table in the big chair or the boosters will be put back on the chairs. It only took a few reminders and they were good after that.

 

We never did highchairs with the twins. We used boosters up to the table.


My suggestion is to only sit them at the table when you are actually ready to eat (with them). All of you sit & eat and after a period of time you can let them go - that one is up to you as you know your children. I do not let mine go back & forth eating.


Make supper time real together time. Talk with them and really bring them into it. You can extend the time they sit slowly until they are staying the whole time.

It is a process but one worth working on and :blbl: to what anyone else thinks.

 

It sounds like they like getting to sit in "big boy" chairs so I would use that to your advantage. Tell them that they can only sit in the big boy chairs if they behave like big boys and stay sitting nicely, otherwise they will have to sit in the high chairs. You will need to decide how long they have to sit for-ie until they are done, until everyone is done, for x minutes-whatever works for your family. My rule was that they had to sit until everyone had finished eating (although I made an exception on a few occasions when one had eaten well and the other was being extreamly slow).
I would remind them of the rule at the start of the meal and give them one warning if they start to get down from their chairs during the meal. Then if they go ahead and get down anyway follow through and put them back in the high chair for the rest of the meal.
You can do basically the same thing at your in-laws and let them sit without straps/in regular chairs but if they climb down then strap them in.
It may cause a few tantrums to start with but they should realise pretty quick that if they want to be in the big chairs they need to sit properly.

Good Luck!

 

We have booster at the table on regular chairs and have for a year now. They like to be at the table with us. I don't put them in their seats until it is time to eat. It also sound like they are not really hungry. I have mostly stopped giving snacks now or my kids don't eat good meals. If they were really hungry that might make them focus on meals more than plan. I also recommend one warning and then they are done eating and must go in the other room while the rest finish eating. I always fix dinner with both of my kids helping me. THey ahve stools to use while I cook. This also helps them get excited about eating dinner.