Tips for first day alone

Hi All

This is my first post on the First Year board My twin boys were discharged a week ago after seven weeks in the NICU. My husband has been home to help out with the twins and our one year old. The boys are doing great and have adjusted well to being at home. At first I felt so positive about our first day alone but now I am getting really anxious and worried about doing it all. It is overwhelming at times when there are two adults here!

So I come seeking advice- what got you through your first days alone with your twins?

I hope it is normal to feel this way!

Allison

 

It's totally normal to feel anxious. I know I did and I got through it. You will get into a routine soon and all will be fine. It's hard to give you specific advice because every situation is different. I promise you can do it! Just take it one hour at a time. Try not to stress if someone is crying. You are just one person and you can only deal with one thing at a time.

 

I would say that you should just accept that one will be crying while you are taking care of the other, and if you are okay with the fact that you are only one person and that is the best you can do, you are already a step ahead in the game. It's easier said than done, but when you realize that it's all you can do, you'll feel so much better about the situation. Good luck, but I'm sure you'll do great!

 

I remember being nervous my first time alone with the twins. Like others have said, be prepared for them to be crying at the same time. Sometimes it was hard to figure out who needed me first and I would have to take my best guess. Have some kind of feeding routine down and remember you are doing the best job you can. You will do great!

 

I would suggest to think about bare survival mode... get comfy & put on fresh pjs, have your fav music ready, ask a close friend to call you just to have someone to talk to not in that high babytalk voice, see if you can get your dh to bring home food (preferably something more healthy to give you better energy...like supermarket done chicken & salad bar & cut fresh fruit).
This too shall pass... hang in there!

 

It is ok to be nervous. Definately expect that one will be crying while you are feeding or diapering the other one. I made an effort to look at Max if I was feeding Lily and tell him it would be his turn next and mommy would spend time with him too. I know they don't understand, but it helped me feel not so bad about the crying. The more days you have alone with them the more immune you will get to it because I think that the crying is the worse. Just remember to breath and know you can only do what you can do at that moment. You are doing your best no matter what. Good luck and try to have fun.

 

Could you have some one watch your one yr old for the first few days? Try not to worry about anything else other than taking care of your LO's. Let the house go, and have your DH provide supper. A lot of evenings I would make a bed on the living room floor, lay down with both babies and my DD, and watch a movie.

 

It is so daunting but you will surprise yourself at how well you cope when you have to! Just remember that babies will cry and that's ok... try not to panic and just keep things moving. Once everyone has full bellies and clean diapers on they will most likely sleep for a few hrs, during this time rest rest rest if you can. Noone cares about things not being in there place least of all your babies. Good luck i think you will probably feel very proud of your first day alone with them, it's an achievment and a half! Enjoy x

 

My first day home with the twins was only a short month ago. Yes, it is totally normal to feel the way you are feeling. As people said, just try to take a deep breathe and realize it is possible you just have to let a lot of things go. The housework might not get done, there may be dishes in the sink, you may not get to shower but as long as the babies are fed, dry, dressed and happy you did a great job! It may break your heart, but it is okay if someone cries for a minute, happens at my house more than once a day. It's not hurting them and I just keep talking to the one that is crying until I can get to her. Good luck momma, you can do it!

 

QUOTE(Kerry Culvert @ May 14 2009, 11:22 AM) [snapback]1313779[/snapback]
My first day home with the twins was only a short month ago. Yes, it is totally normal to feel the way you are feeling. As people said, just try to take a deep breathe and realize it is possible you just have to let a lot of things go. The housework might not get done, there may be dishes in the sink, you may not get to shower but as long as the babies are fed, dry, dressed and happy you did a great job! It may break your heart, but it is okay if someone cries for a minute, happens at my house more than once a day. It's not hurting them and I just keep talking to the one that is crying until I can get to her. Good luck momma, you can do it!


So, do you go in another room to feed the one while the other is crying? My first day by myself is tomorrow with my twin girls (husband goes back to work). Also read in another place on this site about feeding them at the same time while in their bouncer chairs. How do you cope with the spit up? (My girls are 6 weeks.) We don't have consistent help, and sometimes quite an act to get it too.

 

QUOTE(CarlyLaFont @ May 17 2009, 10:50 AM) [snapback]1316944[/snapback]
So, do you go in another room to feed the one while the other is crying? My first day by myself is tomorrow with my twin girls (husband goes back to work). Also read in another place on this site about feeding them at the same time while in their bouncer chairs. How do you cope with the spit up? (My girls are 6 weeks.) We don't have consistent help, and sometimes quite an act to get it too.

For spitup I made a bib out of spit cloths or just used the big they were wearing. We didn't have a lot of spit up, just mainly dribbles. :youcandoit:

 

Thanks for all of the suggestions and words of encouragement!

We survived our first and second days home alone. There have been moments when no one was happy but it has gone a lot better than I thought.

 

QUOTE(CarlyLaFont @ May 17 2009, 10:50 AM) [snapback]1316944[/snapback]
So, do you go in another room to feed the one while the other is crying? My first day by myself is tomorrow with my twin girls (husband goes back to work). Also read in another place on this site about feeding them at the same time while in their bouncer chairs. How do you cope with the spit up? (My girls are 6 weeks.) We don't have consistent help, and sometimes quite an act to get it too.



I usually don't go in another room to feed one if one is crying. I have not tried feeding them both at the same time. I'm personally not too comfortable trying to do that. We usually try to have them staggered a bit in their feedings so they both aren't eating at the same time. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. As for spit up, a burp cloth is now a permanent accessory for me!

 

The two most valuable tips I got on TS were these:

1-Do your absolute dam*dest to keep a 15-20 minute gap between each of them eating. You will be shocked at what a huge difference that 15 minutes can make when they are that tiny.

2-Later on, when you're regaining some of your sanity (which happened at about 2.5 months for us) and you're doing baby laundry, snap the sleepers, and onesies together into pairs so when you grab one out the drawer, you get two, automatically. My God, I don't remember who posted that, since I was in such a fog, but it was the simplest suggestion, and it made me realize: There IS a knack to this. I WILL get the knack of it. And when I do, it'll be fiiiiiiine. Tiny, but massive.

You'll do great. All they really need is food, and to be warm and clean, and lovin' the buhjibbers outta em will cover the rest.
XO