time outs or other strategies

So far I haven't had to really use any major discipline strategies. For the most part they listen, and I make an effort to keep things as kids friendly as possible so that the things I have to say no to are big things (stove, street, electric, climbing ( and trying to dance)on the kitchen table, etc.). I ignore tantrums when possible and that seems to do the trick most of the time, and I'm a big believer in distraction so when I see a problem coming I try to get them into something else before it happens.

That said, in the past month EVERYTHING has changed and they are starting to push a lot harder with things. There's nothing major right now, but I want to come up with my next level of discipline. I'm thinking that time outs sound like a decent option, and I like the idea of counting to 3 as a warning period to give them the chance to do the right thing first. If you use time outs, practically speaking, where do you put them? I have always heard of people having them sit on a step or in a specific chair - do they really stay there? Have you ever had to give a double time out and make both of them sit there? If you have any ideas on the best places for time outs or if you use another technique that you like better, please share! I'm always looking for other opinions on things like this before I decide to do it.

 

When we started we used a pnp in the dining room. They could climb out, but they didn't. Now we use two carpet squares- one is in the front living room, and the other is at the back of the house in the den. If they get a double time out, they each go to a carpet square. Up until last week they were great about staying in time out. We had some issues last week where Meara decided to get up from it, but after a couple times of extended TOs (with me or DH standing there with our back to her), she realized the quicker she sits down and calms down, the quicker she can get back to the action.

The point of a TO isn't punishment, its to give them a safe quiet place to calm down. Sometimes my girls will put themselves in TO if they need time to calm down. That said there is a learning curve and you have to teach them what is expected and then talk to them after the TO to help them understand. One thing I don't do is use their beds (or cribs when they were in them). They can put themselves in TO in their beds, but I never use their beds because that is their special safe place. HTH.

 

I have the same concerns, that's why I haven't been doing time outs... they typically get in trouble together and I can't imagine keeping both of them in time out when they're trying to get out.

I'm curious to read the replies too!

 

I have done TO's in their room and I have also spread one of their blankets in the kitchen and set the microwave timer for time out. I agree with Leighann, I don't necessarily use them as punishments but for an opportunity for the kids to reset themselves. I keep them in TO for 2 minutes since they are 2 years old. When I do a kitchen timeout, they are very good about staying on their blankets. Good luck!

 

We just pick up their chairs from the table. Chances are both are in TO at the same time, so one goes into the kitchen, one in the hallway. Yes, they do stay in the chairs.

 

We do the counting to 3 and then they go to time out and it works really well! I don't have the ability to have a specific spot for time outs so I just put them in a corner or on the side of a wall somewhere. I do make them stay there or else they have to go back and stay until their 2 minutes are up.
Good luck!

 

We do time out and have the laundry right off the living/kitchen and they go in there. IT is a tiny room with floor space like 3 ft by 6 ft with nothing in reach to play with/get in trouble with. If we are up stairs it is either to their room or the bathroom. I don't send them in together I will send one in bathroom and other in laundry or bedroom depending on where we are. I let them choose when to come out when they are happy. At first I would sometimes have to send them back or stand at the door, but I like that tey choose when they are ready to ... (be happy, listen, say sorry, clean up, or whatever else) When they come out htey have to say sorry and give hugs to either parent or sibling depending on the reason for timeout. I like a room better than a chair or step because it is a lot harder to make them sit than to just hold the door shut and it gives me a better break from them so I am not fighting with them in timeout. Good luck.

 

I've really only done time out with one of mine. The other is just starting to need them. I started off putting her in her booster seat, so she couldn't get out. I set the timer for 2 min. I then make her say sorry to whoever and give hugs and kisses. I also count to 3. If I get to 3, she goes to time out. I find I get to 3 less and less now. She will also stay wherever I put her in timeout now. I change it up a bit. It's usually away from where we are. If I see her hit or push or do anything really mean or dangerous, it's an automatic time out.

 

My boys watch out for each other. I have a hard time doing time outs (like a chair, blanket, spot on the floor, etc...) cause if one is misbehaving and in time out, the other will distract him and try to play with him. I can't put both in time out cause it's not fair to the one behaving. So I put the one in time-out in his room for 2 minutes (cause he's 2). That works better, but all his toys are in there so he just gets to play. Cameron sees time-outs as no big deal. Kiefer knows he's in time out regardless of the toys he's surrounded by. He is a little better at not repeating the behavior...at least for a while, so he can avoid another time out. I have done counting to three which works sometimes, but if they REALLY want what they are doing, they have a tendency to gain selective hearing. Those picky ears end up with both of them in time outs in their own rooms (they have their own rooms).

 

That's the thing here... my kids stop when I tell them. I don't even have to count. It just doesn't stop them from doing the same thing again later, but it doesn't look like time outs actually help in that aspect if you still have to count.

 

I don't really count before a TO, but I do give a warning that clearly sets the limit and the consequence if they continue to break it. So if DS is throwing sand out of the sandbox, I say "Aidan, sand stays in the sandbox. If you don't stop throwing sand, you will go to timeout." If he throws sand again, he goes to TO. When we're outside, it is a chair on the patio. When we're in the house, they go to their room. I started off by shutting their doors (and even locking it if need be), but now that they understand how TO goes, I can just shut it partway. If they get out, the time starts over.

 

It's not what I meant... it just doesn't seem to teach them that the behavior is not acceptable. I thought it was the point of time outs but from what I hear it doesn't seem very effective in that aspect. Not that anything is at this age apparently, lol.

 

Fran, I think the TO helps teach them what is acceptable and not, but at 2-3 years old, they just don't have the impulse control to always do what is right, even when they know the rules. They're also always experimenting and testing limits to learn about what is acceptable and not. So if the rule is no throwing sand (from my example earlier), they might throw sand at home and get a TO. It'll probably take them several TO's before they figure out this rule. Then while at a friend's house, they'll probably throw sand because they don't realize that throwing sand is never allowed, not at their house or a friend's house. Likewise, while at that park, they're going to throw sand because they just don't get that the rule is always no throwing sand. It's like kids are little scientists, always conducting experiments, trying to figure out the expectations and rules for their behavior.

 

This is it exactly! Little scientists without any impulse control. I feel like TOs work when I see them about to do something and I say "Do you need a time out?" and then they stop. That is successful to me.