three year old has been crying that she doesn't want to go to school

my twins are in the same class. one of them has been crying lately that she doesn't want to go to school. the teacher says everything is fine and she has been having good days at school. she comes home pretty happy. she is a shy kid in general and when she started school would go in ok, but when we got to her class room would cry. she still clings to me and asks me to stay and even cries sometimes - but it's new that she has started crying at home that she doesn't want to go. her twin is ushually ok but gets affected when she sees her sister upset and sometimes asks to stay too. anyone been through this? overall she is more difficult, and stubborn, less easy going than her sister, but she enjoys having fun, and i think she enjoys school, but maybe holds herself back a little. any advice would be appreciated, or any parents who have gone through something similar.

 

My girls started at preschool 2 days a week when they were about 2.5. After the first week or so, they wouldn't cry when I dropped them off but were never excited about going, ask to stay home, tell me that they didn't like school. I chalked it up to them just not wanting to be separated from me and didn't pay much attention to it. However, I had my own issues with the teacher so when they were three, I finally switched them to a new preschool. They absolutely love the new school - they get excited when it's a school day, put their own shoes on so we can get there faster, etc.

So, for us, the problem was not the kids but the actual school. Once they started in a program that fit their personalities better, they started to enjoy preschool a lot more. It's so nice to drop them off knowing that they love where they are.

 

i really don't believe it's the school because it's a great school - it's early childhood, and the teachers are all very warm and caring. everyone i know recommends it and has a positive experience. they are actually switching schools next year though, because this one is only early childhood.

 

My sensitive, more emotional DD is exactly the same way. They go two mornings a week. I tell them the day ahead of time that it's a school day tomorrow, we pick an outfit the night before, and though the preparation helps, she still cries the next morning and says she doesn't want to go to school. I talk to her and articulate that it's separating from me or my nanny that she doesn't like, and we talk about that. She has a ball at school and is very happy when we pick her up. I think the more sensitive kids "feel" the separation more and they get smart enough to anticipate it and don't want to do it. My DH has started making fun of her by mocking her crying, "I don't waaaaaant to go to school" and I thought she would get infuriated, but she actually stops crying and laughs. I think she knows it's silly because she likes it at school, but she still gets really sad about leaving me or my nanny at drop off.

Her teachers say that kids like that could cry for years, so I'm not looking for this to stop any time soon. I was like that myself, so she got it from me. I just try to talk to her a lot about it and tell her that I understand, and I miss her while I'm at work, and how I think about her doing specific things that make me smile and try to give her specific things to think about me when she gets sad. She'll even tell me specific times at school when she misses me and that she almost cries. It breaks my heart, but we keep working on it and keep going.

 

Does she have a lovey of some sort? One of my girls, when she started preschool last year (at almost 4), initially was fine, but after a week or so started saying she didn't want to go to school anymore. Tears the night before and everything. Turns out, she really needed the added security of her special guy. We made a deal and bunny was able to go in her backpack and he stayed there during the school day (2.5hours). After school, she had him to snuggle with on the way home. This year, she's been independently either leaving him in the car or even at home a couple of times! Once she was able to bring bunny (and not even take him out during the day) she was fine!