Three under three?

I'm so sorry, but I really need to vent! I have three kids under the age of 3.....Twin girls who just turned 3 this past Sunday and a 6 month old. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and am so blessed to have them. However, right now I feel like I just can't handle it and that I'm the worst mom ever. I feel so tired, sleep deprived and run down and I know those are making me an even worse mommy. My son isn't a great sleeper and thats making things very frustrating. I really have no one in my life who can relate or who I can vent to about things. Only a few of my friends have kids, and they only have one...so I feel like they really have no idea. Those of you with 3 little ones, how do you cope?

Thanks,
Amy

 

I'm the opposite of you - singleton and then twins. It can be really crazy sometimes. OK, a lot of times.

I got as much help as I could, from friends, family, anyone who offered who was serious and a friend - they were hired. Whether it was coming to help with the kids, or laundry, or playing with my oldest, or helping with food, ... anyone offered, I took them up on it. And still do. And be sure to take time for you - I know that is so much easier said than done, but it really does help.

:hug99: Hang in there! Your youngest will hopefully start sleeping through the night soon, and that was a big turning point for me when the twins did that.

 

Day by day. I promise it gets better. I had 3 under the age of 2. Honestly, the first year was a blurb to me. It was hard but well worth it. Now I have 3 crazy boys that I absolutely love. If you ever need to vent feel free to PM me.
Cari

 

Hi there- When my singleton girl was born my twin boys were 23 months--life was crazy! 3 under 2! Also, I lost my mother (who I was very close to) to cancer soon after my littlest was born. It was a very difficult time emotionally, physically, and mentally for me. Now they are 3 1/2 and 19 months, and it is easier. I guess we just got through the day, doing whatever we could to stay busy....and I tried not to be so hard on myself. I took a nap when they napped. I didn't beat myself up over putting on a show for them if I needed a break. We can only do our best--nobody is perfect. I ended up not being able to nurse my littlest, and while that made me really sad, it was the best decision for everyone at the time. Also, once she started sleeping better (hopefully soon for you?) life seemed a lot better.

Now that my youngest is a bit older, they are all so much more independent, and they play together all day long. My boys LOVE their baby sister, and do whatever they can to help out. It is CRAZY to have so many young children in the house (especially my VERY energetic and silly boys!) but SO much fun. It was worth all of the chaos and stress at first.


It will get easier!

How I cope(d): tv shows for the kids for a small break, chocolate for me, exercise when I can, and quiet time in the afternoon while they nap/have quiet time--also, try to get out at least once a week just for YOU. Even if you are tired after the kids are in bed--get out and do something. Coffee with a friend, a movie, shopping, etc. I have found that I am a much better mommy when I can feel not-so-much like a mommy once in awhile!

Hang in there!

 

Hi, Gregory was 16 month old when the twins were born. So we had 3 under 2, then 3 under 3 like you... I have no idea how I make it. DH it seems does like zero for the boys. I ride by the seat of my pants and do everything I can to ensure safety and health. After that, I cannot pay attention to the little things. I let them argue a little and try to get them to resolve on their own... If someone is getting hurt it is different. But the YES- NO matches are me pushing them at one another and thelling them to work it out. I am starting them All on small chores too. I can no longer handle all the cleanup on my own. They make HUGE messes with peices of puzzles, crayons etc. So if you dump it out, you clean it up or do not play with it again for a long time. One will vacuum (with the hose) while another puts things into the toy box while the other matches socks up from the laundry, or sorts underwear. But the little things add up for me. While they do that, I do the dishes... They take laundry to the basket etc.
I am sorry you feel so overwhelmed. You are not alone! I try to take one step at a time... HUGS

 

It will all be a blur to you. You will do it and then you will look back and wonder how the heck you did do it. Then you will look back and look at those days and think how easy there were compared to now (we all forget!). When my twins were born I had a 5 yr old, 2yr old and then the babies. I don't remember much at all. I think I hung out with two kids attached to my boobs chasing the 2 yr old around and transporting the 5 yr old to kindergarten and gymnastics. Other than that, I don't recall anything. But my kids made it through so it must all work out!!

The good thing is I bet your kids will never even notice that mommy is tired, they will just remember you being their mommy!

 

I know how you feel :hug99: I feel like all I do some days is break up fights and yell at them. I hope that's not how they remember it when they grow up!

 

M&T were 26 months when A was born.
I remember thinking and feeling so much better once all three (actually all 5 including DH and I) were on approximately on the same schedule. It made a world of difference for me.
Other than that, honestly, one day at a time, and even sometimes, one time out at a time. Both yours and theirs.
But then one of them will do something great again, and your heart will feel much better, like you know how you want to feel, and then those moments get more often as well.

 

I feel your pain! I have three that are two and under. It seems to me that I have good days and bad days, such as there are times I can handle things really well, and then there are those times that I can't handle anything at all. I am currently in the "I can't handle this" mode. All I hear is one of three screaming or crying all the time, and when they do I feel like it eats me from the inside out. Sometimes I get that angry feeling inside. I'm not really angry at them, but I just feel like I am slowly going crazy and need a breather. When I do get that feeling I just walk away for awhile, and it seems to help.
I also COMPLETELY agree with having no one else that understands. There are no friends or family members of mine that are anywhere close to the situation I am in, and they honestly just don't get it. That is so frusturating too! I rarely get help from anyone.
I wish I could offer some advice or magic tricks to make this better but I think that the pp was right; that we will make it through if we take it one day (and sometimes one hour) at a time, and that one day we will look back and wonder how in the he!! we made it through. All I can offer is support and let you know you're not alone; that I could have written your post exactly and we can go crazy together!

 

I have four 2 and under, and a single mother. And really besides getting caught up on house work, and being sleep deprived im not finding it all that hard. Theres times when i really get frustrated, like getting the 6 week olds to sleep and then my 2 year olds waking them up after a long battle of wits getting them to sleep.......

I think my big thing is...I just keep in the back of my mind, god would have never blessed me with these two beautiful sets of twins if he didnt think that i could handle it....Things are only as hard and bad as you let them become..... Im a big mind over power person...It seems to work for me...... I just keep in the back of my head that its really not all that bad and dont let it become for the most part. But like i said, somedays i really do get to the end of my rope on frustration. Just take it one day at a time.....

(my twins are 22 months apart.

 

I may be repeating a bunch of what pps have said, but here's my story and advice. My twins were 13 months old when my singleton was born and boy did life get crazy. I had help for the first 6wks then their dad went back to work (in a different state 3+hrs away---we only saw him on weekends). I found that I HAD to be organized. I started FlyLady immediately and got my entire life cleaned up and decluttered. I had everything for the next day ready at night and got my kids on a pretty strict schedule. My singleton was a horrible sleeper and I was exhausted all of the time. I still worked, so I did get a break during the day and that made a huge difference. If you're a SAHM, try and find a mother's day out program so you get some kind of break during the week. Everyone needs at least a few hours just to unwind. The stress involved in taking care of 3 young children is overwhelming and exhausting. As crazy as this sounds, another thing that really helped me was trying to get out of the house occasionally. The baby liked the car and would actually sleep when we were moving. I would load everyone up and drive to Sonic and get a milk shake and read a book. The twins would sit and look at everyone and munch on tater tots :blush:. Just having a change in scenery can make life look a little sweeter. :hug99: Give it a little time and everything will start to get easier.

 

My twins were 23 months when my singleton was born. It can be hard, especially as you try to get the baby into a routine and still deal with the already established schedules of the 2 year olds. Take the time when the baby is napping to spend some quality time with the girls. Even if it is just coloring or whatever, they love it and then can go on to play with each other. My kids are pretty independent most of the time, but we do have our craft time or whatever when Liam is sleeping (sometimes that's the cue to paint, play a game, whatever). It's not easy, but we are now at a point where it is becoming easier. Liam turned 1 last week and the twins will be 3 in 2 weeks. Try setting up some playdates, check out story hour at the library....we've been going to that since Liam was 4 months old. Good Luck! And a :hug99: for you......

 

Hi Amy, I can relate to you too! My twin boys were 10 months old when my DD was born. (They are now 27 mo. and DD is 17 mo) It was really hard at first. My mother passed away when the twins were two months and my mil was also gone. I really didn't have much help other than my immediate family as well. The twins woke up every 3 hours around the clock until 8 mo. We had to wake them at first because they were so small and we didn't realize that we had turned them into "snackers" so once I talked to the pediatrician about this, he gave me a schedule and we got them sleeping through the night for 2 whole months before DD came!! LOL My husband is great and got up with me always to feed the twins. I don't know what I would have done without his great support. Of course, the daytimes we are on our own with hubby gone to work.

The best advice I got was to really give myself a break! I tried to do everything still and learned quickly that it really isn't possible so instead of feeling guilty about what I could or couldn't do I sat down and really looked at my life to see what was really important and what could be let go for awhile. I don't know what your hubby is like but most men want to help out but need to know what we need them to do in order for them to help us. So, delegate more to your husband -- perhaps grocery shopping or errands etc. Do you have anyone you can trade with to give yourself an outlet each week? My oldest DD is 23 with 2 small children of her own so we traded for 3 hours every week. She would go first and then I would go. I love these little people so much but I can honostly relate to the craziness we live through as well. I am a SAHM so I am pretty much with them 24/7. Someone else here mentioned the "flylady" I also follow her cleaning tips, routines etc. THat has really helped me too. If you every need anyone to chat with, feel free to PM anytime! Good Luck with your little ones, Amy. ~Mary~

 

My DS was 3 when the twins were born and some days it was really rough. Lately since the twins are older it seems harder and DS is in school. I can imagine two toddlers and a baby are even harder. :hug99:

 

Your post scared me Amy!!! LOL! Seriously, I have a baby coming in March that will be 6 months when the twins turn 3...so pretty much exactly like you. I'm interested to see the responses. Hang in there. :hug99:

 

My oldest was 2 1/2 when my twins were born and it's definitely survivorable. Schedules are a definite must for me. I feel more in control when I have a guide to follow (although I don't freak if we skip the schedule sometimes). The twins nap later in the afternoon than most probably do, but it allows me to get all of them down for a nap or at least a rest at the same time - break for Mommy! We all shower at the same time in the morning, I get the babies dressed first and then they are ready for their morning nap. While they are sleeping I get myself and older DD ready.

I have absolutely loved the past 10 months. The only time I think it's really hard is when all the kids are sick and trying to keep my older child from being to rough with the twins. I'm constantly having to tell her to get of them, quick taking things from them, ect.