This nap thing is not going to work

I cannot keep rocking/bouncing them like this! They are literally refusing to nap...kicking, screaming, squirming, etc. And all ofa sudden they don't want to be on their tummies and they've slept that way almost their wholelittle lives! What is going on? I look for the cues (yawns, gazes, time passed, etc.). I KNOW they're tired but they WILL NOT GO TO SLEEP WITHOUT A FIGHT! I know it is too young to start CIO but it just sets up a terrible cycle if they don't get their naps in. I know this question has been asked a million times but please tell me what to do, especially those of you who have just recently passed this phase. If the rocking and everything was actually working like it did before, believe me, I would just keep doing it. But I feel it's a complete waste of and hour if I'm doing all that and then they're still upset or wide awake. Right now I have to say they're just in their cribs crying while I type this. I just to walk away for a minuite. I'm going to get them right now. Thanks, ladies.

 

Actually at around eight weeks or so, I started to let them figure out falling asleep on their own. I wouldn't let them CIO per se, but I set a time limit I was comfortable with (for me it was ten minutes), and I'd give them that amount of time before I went back in. Many times, they'd fall asleep before the time was up, but if they didn't, I'd soothe them and repeat the cycle.

Some days, it worked great, others, not so much. So I also had a swing by each of their nap locations, and would put them in there and just try again the next day. Both of my kiddos go down for naps and bedtime wonderfully now, and are usually out within 5 minutes. (Haha, Murphy's Law, as I type this one of them is talking away in the pack n play after only being alseep for 30 minutes!)

I was super worried that it wasn't going to work because at that time I "thought" they needed to be walked or put in the sling to fall asleep - boy they surprised me. Once, they learned to put themselves to sleep in their cribs, they started sleeping better all around!

Good Luck!
Suzi

 

Have you tried getting them to nap in their swings? It was the only way mine would nap for the first 4.5 months of life. It kind of sucked because it was hard to go anywhere because we were so reliant on their swings for naps, but we just recently transitioned them into their cribs for naps without much struggle. They were sleeping in their cribs at night, and it didn't seem to affect that either--they just needed to be moving to nap early on.

I know how much it stinks to feel like you spend your entire day getting kids to nap--UGH. Hang in there!

 

I'm asking because I sincerely don't know...is it really too early to CIO at 3 months? I thought anytime between 8-16 weeks was fine to start that. I'm reading Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child and that's what it says and I'm really looking forward to being able to start some sleep training like that. I did let mine CIO inadvertently the other day. I had to shower and they were both quietly drifting off - as soon as I stepped into the shower they were both screaming. I took a 10 minute shower, including toweling off and rushed in to save the day and to my surprise they had both cried themselves right to sleep and stayed asleep for 2 hours.

 

I have been sort of CIOing for naps...more like SusieQ minus the swings. It usually takes about 5-10 of screaming for DD and DS USUALLY goes down without too much of a fight...until yesterday that is. Anyway, I started this the week before they turned four months (they are 4.5mos. now). Nothing has ever worked to put mine to sleep except swaddling with miracle blankets and a paci for DD but we had to take those away because they were spending more time breaking out of the blankets and DD was spitting out her paci all of the time. Once we stopped these we had to let them cry a little before naps because it was the only thing that would work...my DD just cries louder when you hold her when she is tired and really wants to be set down in her crib.

I think that by letting them learn how to lsleep on their own you are actgually giving them an important skill - just my opinion. I was really comfortable with this modified type of CIO - picking an amount of time you are comfortable with and then going in if you have to to soothe, flip over, etc... It is nice to sort of have a plan instead of feeling like you are doing the same thing over and over again and not getting anywhere.

Do what feels right to you.

Amy

 

I did CIO that early but not severe. I would let them cry 5 minutes then go in, pat their bum, leave, go back in after 5.
My babies loved having their bums patted, they would actually fall asleep with that.

I think the point is that they have to know you are there, they haven't been abandoned, but in the mean time know that the crib is there to sleep in. I think a bit of CIO is ok, and like the a PP said, you will do them a favour, by teaching them to go to sleep on their own.

One other thing I would try is put them to bed earlier. Mine would kick and scream when they were to tired. But I also thought the 4 months mark was the absolute worst for naps.

Good luck, I found it a very difficult and frusterating few months, but it will all of a sudden get better.

 

My car was my best friend at this age. Either that, or once they were asleep (however that happened), I would set them on their tummies on the couch. I KNOW a lot of people have a problem with that but for me it was either do that or lose my mind.

 

I did FIO/Fuss It Out. Basically you lay them on their tummies and gently pat/rub them while you shush them. Pat/rub/shush them until they calm down, then quietly sneak away. If they get really upset and start to cry then pick them up, cuddle them until they calm down, then pat/rub/shush until they start to drift off. It takes a few weeks and a lot of patience, but it's what's worked for my youngest 3. I think it's a good alternative to CIO if that's something you don't want to do. PM me if you are interested in more details!

 

I was never able to do full blown CIO. Not even because of the emotional agony it can cause, but we live in an apartment and my landlord has two young one's too, so I didn't want to unsettle hers with my two screaming.

ANyway, when mine were at the age yours are at now, I created a permenant trail going from a chair right outside their room over to their cribs. The one thing I tried my d@mndest to do was not pick them up. I wouldn't even look at them in the eye, if I was patting their backs or returning a binkie to a mouth. I didn't want it to be about me comforting them, but just letting them know I was around. In fact, I would even soothingly say to them, "Work it out, baby, work it out. You can do it." Stuff like that.

At 10 months old, I still kind of have to do this at nap time, but with the room being lit up from the sun and also them not being THAT tired, I'm not surprised that they don't go down one, two, three. At night, though, 9 times out of 10 they do. So, the pseudo CIO with patting backs/replacing binkies, humming, a shush or two (or 25) did work for me and still does.

So, yes, that nap thing is going to work. You just gotta find what works for you. But I agree with you that the rocking/bouncing is okay at 3 months....not so fun at 9 or more! Get that Happy Child book if CIO is not for you. If it is, I'd have to say that it sounds like it works like a charm once you get over the first few tries. Good luck and big hugs!

 

Oh, also, one more thing. The fan. I love their fan. It not only drowns out a lot of background noise, but it creates a nice white noise. Now that the colder months are coming, I'm definetly going to get them a white noise machine or something.

 

It's so tough! We went through that whole thing and I wish I could tell you what finally did the trick--but I think it was just time and consistency. They're old enough to have learned that the world is so interesting, and napping is so boring! Ultimately they just have to learn that naps are going to happen at the same time/place everyday and sooner or later they'll figure it out. Hang in there. At least you know EVERYONE's kids have done this!

Reyna

 

I let them nap in swings at that age as well. It was the only thing that could get them to nap for a while. There was no fuss!