This is normal and will pass right?

I have twin girls... just turned 2 the day after Christmas. Hailey is more laid back overall but when she hits her limit totally looses it. She's a daddy's girl. Autumn is much more sensitive overall, whines or cries a lot more and very clingy to mommy. They both adore daddy and ask for him all day (I'm a SAHM). But Autumn always wants mommy to do everything for her. And often pushes daddy away at bedtime when he tries to tuck her in or kiss her goodnight. Or even if he goes to rescue her and snuggle if he's found her with something wrong. I generally try not to make a big deal of things and if we can get her to cooperate, I try to see if daddy can just work through it so they can bond... don't want to always step in and make it worse. But I feel so horrible (for both really - hate to see Autumn upset, and I know how much it truly crushes daddy - he gets really hurt by it). I've heard it's totally normal and I'm sure it will pass and all of a sudden I'll be in his shoes. But has anyone else experienced this and what's the best way to handle? Know typically how long it lasts?

THANKS!

 

I have twin girls... just turned 2 the day after Christmas. Hailey is more laid back overall but when she hits her limit totally looses it. She's a daddy's girl. Autumn is much more sensitive overall, whines or cries a lot more and very clingy to mommy. They both adore daddy and ask for him all day (I'm a SAHM). But Autumn always wants mommy to do everything for her. And often pushes daddy away at bedtime when he tries to tuck her in or kiss her goodnight. Or even if he goes to rescue her and snuggle if he's found her with something wrong. I generally try not to make a big deal of things and if we can get her to cooperate, I try to see if daddy can just work through it so they can bond... don't want to always step in and make it worse. But I feel so horrible (for both really - hate to see Autumn upset, and I know how much it truly crushes daddy - he gets really hurt by it). I've heard it's totally normal and I'm sure it will pass and all of a sudden I'll be in his shoes. But has anyone else experienced this and what's the best way to handle? Know typically how long it lasts?

THANKS!

 

I've heard that this is normal...my husband was a stay at home dad for three days per week from the time the girls were eleven months old until they were eighteen months old, then last year we both had one day per week with them - and three days they were in day care. So mine never got too antsy about sharing the care. However, they do object VERY strongly to having Daddy come in in the middle of the night to soothe them, particularly Alice. This is not good from my point of view! However, I can see where she's coming from - she's used to me coming in about 80% of the time, and toddlers are creatures of habit. They want things to stay the same all the time, from my experience. Also, Alice has tried a couple of times to insist, "No, Mummy do it," or "Daddy do it", when one of us has been trying to help her. If we feel she's trying it on, we tend to insist, "No, Daddy's busy now, kiddo. It's Mummy or no one!" and vice versa.

Can you find a couple of fun things that your daughter will definitely enjoy doing with her daddy, so that at least he's getting the chance to enjoy her? I know my husband would be pretty upset to get that negative feedback from one of our girls, so can imagine, I think, how yours might feel. With two year olds, sometimes it's just a waiting game, I think, till they develop more reasoning skills!

Tania

 

Totally normal. I used to feel for my DH when it happened, and he used to truly get upset. Lately its happend the other way round, if they've woken in the night and I go in twice they've said "no iwant daddy" I'm like great!! there u go haha..



amanda (jorja and jessica 3)

 

Very normal, regardless of gender. Definitely don't take it personal. I can't put a timeframe on it.

 

Thanks - at least it helps me feel better if I know it's pretty normal and others have experienced it too. And yes, the middle of the night thing happens with us too. If she's woken up in the middle of the night for some reason and upset... she's REALLY upset if daddy tries to help... mommy only. Hopefully it will get better with time. And we'll work with some of your suggestions.

Thanks everyone for your posts... I really appreciate it!

 

Very normal. I wouldn't let it get to him. Mine have started to turn on me and want "daddy" a lot more now.