UGGHH; I'm in trouble! My 4 year old (JUST turned 4) uses a pacifier to sleep. ONLY to sleep- he takes an occasional nap. It is very interesting- his finger goes into his belly button and the "plug " into his mouth. He was JUST over 2 when the twins were born who are not yet 2. Therefore I was just not up to taking away his "plug" Now that he is 4- I know it needs to go. Everyone is sleeping fairly well and I am feeling somewhat sane. I also know this is going to cause a HUGE upheavel in his sleeping. He will also keep the twins up- who's room is next to his. I've heard "let him give it up on his own- he will" to it should have been tossed 2 years ago (you bad mom) ugghh. I have not just bit the bullett and taken it away- If I take it away I will not give it back. Weve talked a lot about it- plug fairy- etc... He is not even a little interested. I'm not sure I am ready- or ever will be- let's face it I have 3 small kids and work full time- I'm tired UGGH What do I do?? Truth please Jenn
My oldest ds was 4 and still had his pacifier (for bedtime only). He gave it up somewhere between 4-5 .. but he did it on his own. I think you just have to do what you think is right for you and your family. I know I did. I DID talk to his pedi and she didnt have a problem with it either .. she said it wasnt hurting him at all and that he would give it up when he was ready .. and he did !
I think he's a little old now to take it away, maybe let him do it by himself. I had one just at my grandmas house until I was about 7 yikes If u want to try though, I took my girls away around 2 1/2 I think, we put them in a tin and gave them to the "babies" not sure if u would get away with that though. Good luck
We just had this discussion at my local mom's of multiples meeting. I'd let him keep it for now and only for bed. It may start messing with his teeth but there is always braces. I personally would rather keep my sanity and get some sleep then worry about him having it. But I'm one of the lucky ones who's kids won't take a pacifier and don't suck their thumbs to sleep.
I had mine until 4 and gave it up in favor of thumb sucking. Did that till I was 10. :shrug: If it's only to get to sleep, I don't see it as a big deal
Just to let you know, our oldest was 3 when he lost his. It was a total accident. He only had it at bedtime or naptime as well. Any way, we had a friend (M) over watching the kids while we went out. M could not remember where we told him the nuke was at. He and Matt looked all over for it. M told Matt that he was going to have to brave because the nuke was lost (Matt still says that it got lost in the maze - not sure where the maze came in for him). He did really well and went to sleep with little to no problem. We figured we would just keep going with the flow on it and he was just over it. He asked for it every now and again, but we just confirmed that it was lost and that we could not find it. It never dawned on him to ask to just buy a new one. You might be surprised by how easily he may give it up. I know that we were dreading the time of having him get rid of it. I actually think that Hannah is going to be a lot more difficult since she would really like to have hers all day (she is only allowed at bed or nap time). But, we will see. Best of luck. In general, I too fall in the camp of do what works best for your family.
I don't always like the nanny shows, but I saw one the other day where the family had kids around the same age using binkies. The nanny made them give them up cold turkey & the first night looked pretty rough! The 2nd night they cried again, but not for long and fell asleep. The family said that was it.....they were fine after that. I think whatever you decide, you should be sure of & don't let anyone else make you feel bad for it.
Personally I fall into the "let him give it up on his own-he will" camp. I don't think it's that bad for him to need a comfort item to fall asleep. After all if he sucked his thumb to fall asleep there would be very little you could do to stop him. I think you should do what you are happy/comfortable with and don't worry about what others say/think.
None of mine have been binkie users, but you could try poking a hole in the end so it doesn't give the same satisfaction when he sucks on it. I've also heard of snipping little pieces at a time off the end until there's nothing left. I don't know if either would work for you, just thought I'd toss out the idea. I'm mostly in the "do what works for you" camp as well.
Another vote in the "just let him give it up on his own" camp. The 15 minutes or so he uses it a day doesn't seem worth the struggle at this point.
I plan on letting my dd Lorien have it as long as she wants. She ONLY uses it in the crib so it's not like she is sucking on the thing all night. I just don't see the point in taking something away that gives her such comfort when she goes to sleep at night. I'm sure she will eventually ditch the thing. Isn't it sooooooo annoying how people can try and make you feel like a bad mommy for such a trivial thing?? I mean my God, I'm not abusing my child!! Give it a rest. To each his own. Do what works for you and your family and follow your heart.
My oldest had one until age 2 (only naps and night). I took it away cold turkey and if I had known it was that easy, I would have done it earlier. She asked a couple of times the first night. Had some minor awakenings (but we didn't get out of bed) and then she never bothered again. The twins don't use them so one less thing to worry about. Personally, give him a week a to get used about the idea (I explained when we were going to take it away), then take it away. Why wait? He may use it for another year, another year, it needs to go at some point. Cold turkey is the way to go in my opinion. It has nothing to do with "being a bad mom" (you're not) but I personally think waiting doesn't make it easier. It was so easy for us, I don't understand why I made such a big deal out of it! Also I was happy I was able to do it before the twins came and she was in preschool and wasn't allowed to have it at nap time, so that kind of worked out too.
QUOTE(Mom2SofieAndTwins @ Mar 13 2008, 11:55 AM) [snapback]667183[/snapback] My oldest had one until age 2 (only naps and night). I took it away cold turkey and if I had known it was that easy, I would have done it earlier. She asked a couple of times the first night. Had some minor awakenings (but we didn't get out of bed) and then she never bothered again. The twins don't use them so one less thing to worry about. Personally, give him a week a to get used about the idea (I explained when we were going to take it away), then take it away. Why wait? He may use it for another year, another year, it needs to go at some point. Cold turkey is the way to go in my opinion. It has nothing to do with "being a bad mom" (you're not) but I personally think waiting doesn't make it easier. It was so easy for us, I don't understand why I made such a big deal out of it! Also I was happy I was able to do it before the twins came and she was in preschool and wasn't allowed to have it at nap time, so that kind of worked out too. Thanks for you replies ladies!! For my little guy- I talked up a lot the fact we ashould give this up for the new babies and the dentist said he should not have it.... your a big boy... blah blah. He is not interested. He told me last night that he would give it up when he was 9. I cracked up. At this point that is probally accurate!!! UGGH When I have taled really seriously about it and held it in my hand like I was taking it with me out of the room for the night, he FREAKED. So those who got rid of theirs easy- was their screaming involved? I mean I KNOW this would be ugly. And when should I ditch the twins pacifiers. They are 21 months. Again they aaleep great and only have them at nap s and night time. MyDH actaully calls her "night night" so cute. She would have her all day if I allowed it. My other DH (twin) pops his in at night and is happy as a clam. Do I really want to mess with success? Or am I just being LAZY?? The twins also don't have a mouth full of teeth so I am a little less stressed for them. Ella has 4 and Ethan has 5 in and 4 comming thru. But as you can tell I am clearly on the way to them being 2 and could easily be in the same situation as with my first DS... hmmmm I will run this by my Pedi tomorrow at DS 4 year old app- I even considered bringing it with us and have Dr. "five" it to the new babies.... BUT probally a bad idea on mulitple levels! Have a good night
We had a pediatric dentist come talk to our MOMS group recently, and of course this question came up. I thought his response was great, it went something like this "Everybody needs something that brings comfort. Adults have alcohol, kids have binkies. I can fix their teeth. And, regardless, your kid is probably going to need braces anyways, so I say, let them have them" Mine gave theirs up VERY early, like between 6-8 months. I WISH they would still take them sometimes!
Don't think you are a bad mom! I know so many people will frown upon me, but one of my girls still uses a passie to sleep with. It doesn't bother me. It is her comfort and who am I to deprive her of that? She is slowly becoming less dependent upon it. It's really no different from a child who sucks a thumb and there are thumb suckers much older than 4. Since things are moving so smoothly at your house, I would say don't sweat the passie. Let him keep it until he is ready to give it up. I'm sure it will happen sooner than you think. They mature a lot in the next couple years.
This is what worked for us years ago ... My DS was three and still using his pacifier, but only at nighttime. We talked a lot about being a "big boy" and giving it up but we let him set the pace ... each night it was discussed but when he said he wasn't ready we didn't pressure him and acted like it was no big deal. One day we were at a store and he saw a stuffed bear he really wanted. I told him that we would buy the bear but he couldn't have it until he threw his pacifier away. (Yes, a bribe but I prefer to see it as a trade-off, lol!) We put the bear on a high shelf in his bedroom and talked about how much the bear wanted to cuddle with him at night but had to stay on the shelf until DS threw his pacifier in the trash. It took three nights of hard decision-making on his part. He never did get upset or throw a fit, but each night he would actually reason himself through the decision whether to throw the paci away and get the bear -or- keep his beloved paci. It was so sweet, actually. On night #4 he proudly threw the pacifier in the trash and asked for his bear, which stayed in/on his bed for years. He never looked back and it was never discussed again, except when we would remind him what a big boy he was for taking that step. We never gave our younger child a pacifier because of DS's obsession with it. In retrospect I wish we had ... DD became a thumb sucker instead, a habit we worked hard to break for over 14 years (yep, 14!) and one that wrecked havoc on her teeth ... it would have been so much easier to have a paci to throw away! Good luck!
QUOTE(littletwinmom @ Mar 14 2008, 04:06 PM) [snapback]669493[/snapback] We had a pediatric dentist come talk to our MOMS group recently, and of course this question came up. I thought his response was great, it went something like this "Everybody needs something that brings comfort. Adults have alcohol, kids have binkies. I can fix their teeth. And, regardless, your kid is probably going to need braces anyways, so I say, let them have them" Mine gave theirs up VERY early, like between 6-8 months. I WISH they would still take them sometimes! OH you girls are great!!! Please read my post about gving up the pacifier please give me strength!! I am SOOOO worried I am doign the wrong thing. I can't trun back now no matter what right? Can I?? OHHH he keeps talkin gbaout he plug fairy.. HELP freaking out
My boys still take them at naps and bedtime. I am not stressing over it, because I know eventually they will/can give them up on their own. I am pretty sure they will give them up before pre-school, because I told them when they go they have to be big boys and go without their paci's. That is in Sept. so I think there is enough time between now and then... Good Luck! Go with what works for you and yours.
