This age (22 months) is HARD!

Oy... this age is killing me...and we are NOT having fun these days. The whining, the throwing of toys, the crying.... it seems constant. And everything has to be "just so"...not these jammies, not this shirt, not THAT sippy cup, etc. I feel like all I do is cajole them to eat (b/c they are WAY to busy to sit down and complete a meal), wrestle them into and out of clothes, wrestle with them at diaper changes, and CONSTANTLY redirect. Constantly.

These are our last babies, so I really am trying to live in the moment and enjoy every day... but right now, I just want them to grow up a bit and get past this stage. DS1 was WAY easier at this age, so I guess we were a little unprepared. Or maybe it's just so much worse bc there are 2 of them.

anyway, there's my vent of the day. Thanks for listening!

-maria
DS1 5.5
DS2 DS3 22 months

 

Maria :hug:
They are at an age where they have an opinion about everything and no is the standard answer. What made some of these battles easier for us is giving the kids a choice. They could choose between two sippies to use, choice between two different outfits and as for eating, I let them eat what they are willing to eat and if they don't eat a lot at their meal, they'll eat again at either snack time or the next meal. I also found that my two seem to be more cooperative during meal times when the TV is off. Hang in there!

 

Yes 18-24 months was by far the most challenging for me. I agree with giving them choices, this or that then they feel like they have a say. Try not to fight with them about food, they will win! lol But seriously, as long as they are getting good choices at all meals and snacks (snacks are really just mini meals and chances to make up to meals-have pre steamed vegis available for snacks, fruit this will help) Also I remember language still developing and making communication difficult. We chose sign words which were done along with the words and it seemed to help with that frustation. It gets better, more fun. Personally I loved two and three. Not that they were without challenges but they were fun. :youcandoit: Remember to breathe and try to enjoy it, they will be "grown" before we know it. My two are turning six on Monday and I so can not believe it. It felt so long when we were in the two and threes now it seems so short and so long ago.

Oh, we tried to get one good meal, like breakfast and/or lunch and then just roll with the rest. The more I stressed the more all were miserable

 

I met this together triplet mother the other day and I asked how she thought "the threes" were.. she said great ! She felt that the worst time for her was before they turned two ! I've always heard on here that three years old is the worst but obviously it is different for different kids. Know that all kids go through a stage and this just might be your hard time. I agree with the pp. Choices choices choices. What spoon do you want, what plate, fork... It might only be two choices or give them a bowl of spoons and let them choose. We still use bibs so they get to choose the colour. They choose where they want to sit eventhough they always want the same chairs.

Next, get down to their level. Squat down not just lean down. Get them to look at you or nicely hold their face and nicely say "look at me" then state what is bothering them "I know you are upset because you want that toy but it is Sarah's turn" "or I'm sorry I don't know what you want can you use your words or point to what you want".

It will get better.

Heather

 

There is a parenting series out there called Love and Logic - http://loveandlogic.com/. It is a parenting style but like many deals with empathy as a basis and one of the techniques is how to offer choices. It is fascinating. You may find it very helpful. We are headed your direction and I have started reading the book for the Early Years. You might check it out as far as how to administer choices if you try that direction. Here is a quick blurb on their guidelines for using choices...

One of the most powerful strategies for avoiding power struggles involves giving choices within limits. It’s all about sharing control. We can either share control by giving small choices…or wait for our kids to fight us for it over big issues. Choices within limits are only effective when we remember to follow these guidelines:

- For each choice give two options, each of which are ok with you. For example, “Do you want to do your chores now or in fifteen minutes?”
- Give choices before your child gets resistant. If you give them afterwards, you reward resistance.
- For each choice, give them no longer than 10 seconds to choose.
- If they don’t choose, or they choose an option you didn’t provide, choose for them.
- Only give choices that fit your value system.
- Give 99% of your choices when things are going well.
- When things aren’t going well, say, “You’ve been getting to make a lot of choices around here. Now it’s my turn.”


I think it is pretty powerful stuff. Good luck.

 

oh lordy i could have written the OP. i was just talking to DH this weekend about how it suddenly seems to have gotten harder again. we're dealing with a ton of jealousy and fighting over toys so it's like :catfight: every single day. they say no to everything and throw tantrums. and they refuse to eat. :gah:

we'll get through it.