thinking of keeping them together for kindergarten

i don't have to make a decision until the summer, but i'm considering keeping cameron and alisha together next year and am hoping to hear from others who did the same. my thought is that if any of their friends end up at the same school as them, i will request that they be in a class with one of their friends. but if they are not (which is entirely possible, as there are 6 elementary schools in our town) then i will ask for them to be together. i just think it's going to be a really tough transition for them (there is still the occasional day when alisha screams and cries and clings to me when i drop them off) and this would be huge in helping them adjust. this is cameron and alisha's third year together in pre-school, and according to their teacher they are very independent of each other - and they do split them apart in the afternoons when they mix with the other pre-k class. plus i'm thinking since they are different sexes that they will naturally develop different friendships.

so - if you kept your twins together for kindergarten, please share your story!

thanks, R

 

I can't share any personal stories as my twins are 1.5 years away from Kindergarten and I still don't know what I'm going to do with them. BUT, I have been teaching for 15+ years (man! I must be OLD! to be able to say that) and have had many sets of twins in my classes.

I think the decision rests entirely on their ability to function independent of each other. It sounds like they are doing well together in pre-school. I would ask for honest feedback from the teachers and get a recommendation from them. Many kids act and relate differently at school than they do at home, so their teacher may be able to give you a good idea of whether or not keeping them together is a good idea. In my opinion, if one isn't the dominate one in the classroom, with the other one relying on their twin to make friends, decisions, etc it's OK to keep them together. Kindergarten (school in general for some kids) can be scary. How wonderful to know you're going every day with your best friend??!

My boys are days away from turning 4 and are in their first year of pre-school. They are in the same class and I'm hoping they will continue to do well together because I would like to keep them together through Kindergarten. However, they have had a few days where they have messed around in class and focused more on each other than the teacher. The teachers have assured me this is a rarity, but if it continues, or the occurances increase, I will request they be separated next year (I didn't have a choice this year because I didn't decide to enroll them until after school started. The one classroom was already full, so they had to be together in the other classroom.)

 

I kept mine together for K and 1st and 2nd grade. I let them be apart for 3rd and 4th. I wanted them back together for 5th but the teachers refused. They are on the same "team" but not class.

I let them be apart for 3rd and 4th. I asked the children and they wanted to try being apart so we did.

When they shared a class there were teachers and students that did not even know they were sisters let alone twins. They had their own friends. Once they were separated one closed down but we let her have her own class the next year also. She wanted it that way. I do wonder if she would have been a bit more social if we did not separate them.

 

Mine are b/b and if you spoke w/me before they started, I would have told you (and I did tell people) they are going together only because they did not have two am classes. I would have split them. They are pretty independant home and once they get comfortable, but one is very good w/peers and the other is less comfortable. He tends to want to hang out w/his brother until he feels comfortable, but, his brother is not always supportive in this and I was affraid of how this would work.

However, it has worked well. They have made some seperate friends. They are at the same table, which I would rather not, but, when I realised that they had been there a bit and did not want to remove one of them from the other kids. It is a pretty good group they are in and it has not seemed to be an issue. When they get up from groups, they tend to split up. Now I wish my one son was better with making friends but I think this is just who he is. He will talk any and every adults ear off and advise them on what they are doing, but, needs to get adjusted to other kids his own age.

ANyway, if they naturally split up now, I do not see that it will be an issue next year and since they are changing schools too, it might be a nice support system. I mean, they have had each other to lean on when needed up until now..why change everything all at once. Unless...it was obviously better for one or both.

The other thing is you could just have a chat with them about it. Asking how much they play together, do they like being together? What would they think about a seperate class next year? That sort of thing. good luck with your choice.

 

Like your girls, my girls are very independant. They had been in the same class in 1/2 day preschool and did great together, even developing separate friends.

They are together now in all-day K and are doing wonderfully. I asked that teacher to separate them in class as much as she could (i.e. separate partners, separate work tables, etc). I am so pleased I will keep them together in first grade too, making the decision year by year, and also factoring what they want to do. Interestingly, I asked them what they wanted to do for K. One wanted to separate, one didn't!

The reason I kept them together was to keep their homework the same. There is no way I could manage 3 sets of homework (I have an older dd too). Good luck on your choice!

 

Mine are together. We wanted it that way, but then the school ended up having only one 1/2 day class.

We wanted it that way because we felt that while they weren't dependent on each other, it would help them through the transition of going from being at home all day with mom to school. Sarah tends to have accidents when stressed and they both will suffer in silence until a complete and utter meltdown occurs from seemingly no where when stressed. We thought that by having the other in class, we would minimize that. We had had some clues from behaviour in their art program that together would go smoother for everyone.

In practical terms, it's working. The teacher has the class in 4 different groups that cycle through a set of centers. They are in different groups. She also shuffles those around some so they are always having to deal with other kids. At recess, they were staying together a little at the beginning of the year. I was up there and heard a bunch of the boys talking about "Star Wars", something Timothy had no clue about. So we introduced Timothy to "Star Wars" and it gave him a way to make friends with the boys. Since Sarah could care less about it, she gravitated away. Now at recess, they pretty much do their own thing.

The other thing that has come up is bday parties. There has been one b/g bday party in the class. There has been one boy only party and 2 girl only parties. They are starting to each have their own social experiences and are learning.

I don't know what we'll do next year. It will be the first year of all-day school with lunch away from home. I'd like to keep them together one more year to get through all those transitions. Dh thinks it's time to separate. The kids view formal separation as a punishment and want nothing to do with it and will promise anything in the world to get to stay in the same class. Now separation to go to the gun show with daddy and clothes shopping with mommy is totally acceptable and encouraged by the kids.

Marissa

 

I would very much prefer to keep mine together, and I plan to talk to the school about it this week at K registration. They are not at all dependent on one another and though they have been in preschool together for 3 years now they each have their separate friends they play with and almost NEVER play together at school. They are in separate "color groups" (their learning groups) right now and sit apart from each other at lunch. I don't really see a need to separate them at this point, other than the fact that Sarah often feels the need to "tattle" on Alex when they get home and tell me what he's done "wrong" today at school (tattling is no good, but hey, at least I have an informant on the inside, right??) :laughing: At any rate, I feel like between field trips and school projects and things it would just be easier to keep them together for now since they seem to do fine. But I guess if the school is insistent, it's ok to separate them too.

 

Mine were in kindergarten and grade 1 together. Then we switched schools, and my feeling was to keep them together just so the transition to the new school wouldn't be so hard. They've done great, but I will definitely request that they be separated next year, they need to have time apart, and be able to grow on their own. One thing that I notice they are doing is trying to out-share what they've done in school, one will start, and the other will jump in and finish, which aggravates the first one... I'm hoping that next year they can really do great separately.

I have a twin sister, and we were together in kindergarten, but then separate until grade 5 and 6. We did have some grades where the classes had their own teacher, but all of the teachers of that grade shared teaching with all the kids, so we did see each other a lot... We did fine!

 

I actually started a topic sharing my positive experience on having our twin boys in kindergarten together. Scroll down a bit in the age 5-11 section.

To give a brief recap....we chose to KEEP our fraternal boys in the same kindergarten classroom this past fall...and it totally WORKS! Our state allows for parent choice. My husband & I made our decision based on knowing our boy's personalities and getting input from their preschool teachers.

In our case, our boys are very different looking,different personalities and NOT at all dependent on each other. So they can easily function, learn, make friends,etc, etc in the same classroom. Their K teacher has remarked that her and the students never view them as "the twins" and truly forget that they are even brothers. They are treated as individuals. However, from what I gather, I can generalize and say that the majority of twins are NOT like this. I find that most parent of twins comment that their children are very dependent on one another....which does not set up a good scenerio for same classroom assignment.

If you feel that your children are not dependent on each other, than I would say try keeping them together. Our boys are flourishing academically and socially. And I LOVE it! I'm the classroom mom and attend every holiday party for both of them....don't have to split my time. Friend b-day parties are great, class projects,talking about their day, everything!! Just so similified. Really a nice perk as a parent.

 

My girls are in 2nd grade and have been in the same class every year. They do great and have their own friends. Teacher feedback is always positive. My girls are fraternal and look nothing alike so I think that helps.

 

My girls are in the same class - they love it, I love it & the teacher said it is great. They are both very independent & they have lots of friends. The teacher said that Rissa "loves her sissy" & if she is playing something she thinks Bella will like, she will go over & ask if she wants to join in. My girls have very different personalities...Bella is the "hand holding, best friend" kind of child while Rissa is the "funny faces, class clown" type of girl. I think it is great that they have each other during the day - I will keep them together indefinitely as long as no problems arise.

 

My boys have been together in the same class through 3 years of preschool, kinder, and now 1st grade. I did ask to have them separated, but the kinder teacher said that she really wanted both of them to have a certain teacher that she thought would challenge them, so I agreed.

It's been fine all along socially and they aren't dependent on each other at all in class. I have noticed the problem that a pp mentioned where one of them starts to tell something from the day and the other overrides him and finishes the story, which ends up with both in tears. One of my boys is really feeling hurt, however, that the other is in the "highest" reading group and also has different homework for TAG. (Talented and Gifted). I am going to request separate classes next year for this reason. If he was in a different class, he would have no idea about reading groups and they would have different homework anyway. Less comparing.

I don't think it's a big deal either way and you can figure it out as you go along.

 

thanks everyone! great to hear all these positive experiences. I do think that because mine are b/g they will naturally start having different friends next year which will help them be even more independent than they are already (this year they are both mostly friends with the boys - the boys all LOVE my dd already - yipes!).

i have my parent / teacher conference on friday and am going to ask their pre-k teacher, whose opinion i totally respect, what she thinks.

i thought of asking the kids directly, but was worried about getting their hopes up or getting them concerned about it - i guess maybe i'll ask them once it gets closer but no point in talking about it now (although dd, who misses NOTHING, has already started to pick up some on some of the adult conversations i've had about this - i need to stop talking in front of her!).

 

A part of me wishes we didnt' live in such a small town - we have only one class per grade so seperating is not an option....there are only 2 grades that have more kids than one class so there is a split. Population is going up tho - so its possible by the time the duo reach kindy they will have more classes per grade. That being said, I think for kindy I will keep them together and go from there.

 

update: had our parent teacher conference today and when i mentioned to their teacher that i was considering keeping them together she said she thought it was a great idea - she doesn't think it will be an issue at all because of how they already act independently in her class, and she agreed with me that it would really help them in their transition. makes me feel sooooooooooo much better about the decision having spoken to her about it! yay!

 

I think I'm leaning towards doing the same thing, especially since they are B/G. I have their parent-teacher conference in a few weeks and am going to talk to their teacher about it then.

 

My twins are in K this year and together.

It works well for them & us. We are very happy with the decision.