Thinking about Number Three

I've been reading the older posts about the right timing to try for #3. I'd been thinking that ttc when the twins are around 2 1/2 would be a good time because they'd be a little over 3 when the baby would be born. But, my friends who have 3 year olds keep telling me that 3 is much worse than 2. And in the "When Does It Get Easier" post, it sounds like 3 is much more mentally challenging than 2 with more defiance, etc.

So, with all that said, would it actually be better to ttc sooner rather than later so that I'm dealing with twin 2 year olds and a baby rather than twin 3 year olds and a baby?

(By TTC, I mean do a frozen embryo cycle. This means we'd likely be pg within a few months of deciding to ttc. If the FETs doesn't work, we are not planning to do another IVF for a third child.)

 

I had 21 mo between my oldest 2, and just about 3 years between #2 & #3, and then again between #3 & my twins. My girlies will be 3 1/2 when this baby is born. I haven't done the baby thing w/ twins yet, obviously. But if I had my preference and could time it all exactly, I'd choose a 2 yr spacing, over the 3 yo one for a couple of reasons. One is that they play so well together. 3 years seems to make them almost a different "generation" they get along, but it's just not the same. And everyone talks about "terrible twos" but with my own kids, they tend to have more tantrums at 3 than 2. On the other hand, 3yos can play a little better on their own, and for longer. And they can be more helpful when you'd like a hand with something. My girls help empty the dishwasher, can get themselves dressed, are potty trained (mostly, LOL), can help pick up toys and such, that it takes a little more involvement with at 2. I think it will probably depend some on how your particular 2/3 year olds are.

I've only had the 2 year spacing once, because a couple of times it's taken some convincing to get DH on board. And between Adam and the girlies I had a couple of miscarriages... Adam would have been just over 2 when the first baby was due.

 

My DS was 3 1/2 when the twins were born, and I second the prior post: he was a WRECK. I think I'd do 2 years apart or 4 years apart, but 3...EESH.

Not to scare you or anything Three was just a much harder stage for us than 2 or 4. We'll see what the twins do, they're just 1 now so no immediate baby thoughts.

 

I'm TTC right now, too...and my girls are 3 TODAY actually. I didn't worry too much about the age spacing, because, for us, it just wasn't the deciding factor on whether to try for another or not. With that being said...I have NO idea what it would be like with 3 y/o's and a newborn versus another age and a newborn, but what I do know is thinking toward the future, I'd do it now. My middle sister is 4 years younger than me, and my baby sister is 9 years younger than me...I'm not at all close to either one of them. We are in totally different places in our lives, rarely see each other or even have a phone conversation...we might as well be cousins rather than sisters. We fought horribly growing up...beyond what normal sister fight..it was bad. My middle sister nearly ruined my senior year and my wedding...she had some issues...However, my bestfriend has 3 younger siblings...Sarah is 28, her next sister is 26, her next is 24...and then her brother is 20. The sisters are so close...I get so jealous that they have such great friendships. Just something to think about.

 

I'm feeling a bit relieved by everyone saying the age of 2 is the way to go! I have no experience-but ask me in about 5 months and I'll let you know what I think! My boys will be 20 months old when the baby comes. I know it won't be easy, but I think in the long run-it will be amazing! I see my niece/nephew who are 2 years apart and they get along sooo well(of course they have their moments). DH's cousin had her 3 children 2 years apart as well, and seeing how close all of them were/are(6,4,2), made me want my kids close in age.

And when I asked ppl in here about it(TS in general) the majority who had a baby within the 2 years of having twins said it was tough in the beginning, but they wouldn't change it for the world!

FWIW-when we ttc too, it was an FET. We started once the boys were one in case it took awhile... Well-it worked on the first try!

 

Not much difference between 2 year olds and 3 year olds for me. Equally as difficult. There is a little over 2.5 years between the twins and Becca and it's been pretty darn good.

 

Don't know about the difference between 2 yo vs. 3 yo as mine will be 2 next month.

I do know that it's been hard having a newborn and the boys (they were 21 months old when she was born) but not impossible. When I got pregnant with B, the boys were 13 months old, weren't walking, weren't talking much, just started sippies, etc. It was a daunting idea but now that they are more self-sufficient, it's totally doable. However, I can't speak for the tantrum/developmental differences in 2 vs. 3 yos. Just wanted to say my almost 2 yos are doing very well with baby.