Thinking about having another baby.....or two...again?

So my husband and I are thinking about having another child. I read that if you have had fraternal twins you are 5 times more likely to have another set! I am not sure if we want to go through all this again lol Our twins are only 7 months right now but we would like to start trying when they are about a year perhaps. MY reasoning behind it all is, besides the fact that I always wanted three kids, that if we can handle two at a time, one would be a piece of cake!
Anyways, I am just wondering if anyone here has had twins, and then had another baby, or twins again, if they could give me some advice. Cause I am sure that one would be a piece of cake, but one baby and TWO 2 year olds. Now that is another story. ANyways, any advice or stories would help! Thanks!!

 

I have no advice, I had my singleton first and then the twins. There are plenty of women on here who have had their twins first and then a singleton (or twins!), though. My DS was 3.5 when my twins were born - and I have to say, it was a wonderful age to add a baby (or two) - he was much more independent than he was at 2, his communication skills were excellent, he could do a lot of special things that they babies could not/did not, he was able to go visit the grandparents for extended weekend stays and loved it, etc. I love the 3.5 year age gap - but I know that there are others who have and love the 18-24 month age gap.

Good luck with your decision!

 

I too would like to have another child (or two - ours were spontaneous fraternal twins as well) but it's difficult trying to decide when would be the best time to try and get pregnant again. Jori has a good point about waiting until your first kids are a little older - the thought of having twins going through the terrible two's plus a newborn (again, or two!) seems terrifying and exhausting. Then again, there are those who choose to get pregnant earlier so their kids are closer in age and at a time when they haven't fully progressed out of the baby/diaper stage so it's not such a shock when it starts all over again. I think you'll find lots of different opinions on this subject! In the end, it comes down to what you and your partner feel most comfortable with. It will likely take a lot of thought and I hope you come to a conclusion that you can both be happy with. Good luck!!

 

Alrighty...I'm a twins first, singleton next mom! LOL!

We did IVF, so it was more planned in the sense of Dr's appointments, etc and really trying to decide on when having #3. I knew that once the boys were close to a year old, I wanted to do another cycle(FET). So I went to the RE and planned on late October/November to cycle. That *was* the plan, until she told me while I was there I could get all the tests out of the way NOW, wait for AF, and then do transfer. So-October 1st I did the transfer, and by October 18th, I was already pregnant with Annabella. There is a 19 month age difference between them(boys turned 20 months eight days after she was born).

Things weren't too bad, until the boys were closer to 2. There were a few weeks of craziness dealing with the boys and their behavior. But-things are MUCH better. It honestly is a delight seeing all three of them playing together. The boys ADORE her. I was so worried about how I was going to have #3, and how the boys were going to think of me. I thought they would hate me, as I thought I was taking away their childhood. It was just *us* and then I was adding another one to the mix! But, I think a lot of that had to do with the insane amount of hormones dealing with the pregnancy. And many people told me that they boys would never remember their life without Annabella in it.

Looking back, I'm so glad I did it. I love having them close in age. I honestly do. Sure there are days where I want to pull my hair out-but it has nothing to do with having a third child. It's just trying to deal with two toddlers in the house! But you have to come to the best decision for your family. Good luck deciding!

 

I'm the exact same as Meaghan only mine are 18 months apart and we are still in the newborn stage Its been rough...like Meg said right now the boys are really testing their limits around here and its exhausting bc you have to be consistent with your discipline. Otherwise, the boys at this age could really care less about Hannah...they give her kisses good night and will shake a rattle for her from time to time but they still believe the world revolves around them I too was worried they would hate me but if anything they have become spoiled little buggers bc of my guilt LOL
Just remember how much help you have around you....we have a TON of family and also use daycare for the boys that helps me have alone time with Hannah and gets the boys out of the house I'm looking forward to when Hannah is a little older and can go longer between feeds and has more of a routine so I can leave her and go alone with the boys again
Its all depends on how you want to do it...for us we want to do the baby stage and move on. So that means sacrificing a lot right now bc everything revolves around 3 babies but my DH laughs when he thinks about how when we are done and some of our friends will just be having their 2nds how much "easier" we will have it bc it never gets easy...just certain parts do
Good luck!

 

We did it the other way around - had 1, then 2, then 2 again. Our first DS was 16 months when the girls were born. I'm sure it was hectic, but I don't remember it being terrible. I do remember loving the age division because they could all play together. We did wait longer this time since we knew there was a good chance of twins again since the girls are fraternal. Surprise, surprise the boys are ID. But it's much easier this time. The older kids are happy to play with the babies and help. DS even wraps the babies and wears them around in a pinch. I love having older kids since I can really appreciate this time with the babies while the older kids are at school. Closer in age this time wouldn't have worked as well, but there's also a big difference between having 5 kids under the age of 4 and 2 or 3 kids under the age of 2.

But in the end there are pros and cons to everything. If you knew you'd have twins again I'd suggest waiting, but obviously you don't know. If it's just a singleton it would be nice to have him/her closer in age to the twins so they can all play together. My mom always says you get who you are meant to have when you're meant to have them. It all works well in the end regardless of age spacing.

 

I just have my twins but I want another baby, too. No advice but just wanted to send out some good vibes to you on your next baby! :good:

 

My advice is just be sure either way. But the likelyhood does increase considerably. I had all the factors, a set of fraternals, 36yrs old, twins in the family. and I am Black which also raises the chance. Since the boys were born 2+ yrs ago, I have been pregnant with twins, twice :woah: Both were unexpected pregnancies, we were on the pill which can ALSO raise the chances. We miscarried the first set and I am weeks away from delivering our surviving twin of the second set(RIP Jacob :cry: ) Anyhow, we were surprised each time and ultimately thrilled with our impending arrival. This will, however be the last one as I am sure another pregnancy would bring another set of twins. Gotta nippped and snipped this time.

 

I'm trying to convince DH to have another as my boys are finally at an age where they are independent and can understand when I tell them that I can't hold them right now. They will be 3 next week and I'd love to have one (or two) when they are 4. My sister and I are 4.5 years apart (4yrs in school) and we have an awesome relationship. I loved having a bigger age difference between us. We were able to experience high school individually and hit milestones years apart. I think my boys would be a great help to me if I have another. I like the idea that the defiant "no" of the terrible twos will be less and they will be more willing to listen to directions. FWIW, I had to fight those "more babies" urges as they neared one. DH wasn't ready and now I understand why I needed to wait. At least for our family.

 

My toddlers are two years older than my new baby. I never had much trouble handling two babies at once and I even babysat another set up twins the same age for a long time so like you, I thought adding number three wouldn't be too difficult...HA! Right now, it's really tough! I think it's mainly just because the two year olds are in that crazy phase of testing everything and the baby wants to be held all the time so I literally find myself pulling a toddler down from a [name any forbidden and dangerously high object they could climb] while wearing the newborn in a sling.

But even now, as exhausted as I am, I can see how great it's going to be to have them so close together. The twins aren't acting at all jealous - they love their baby sister. They are always begging to hold her, hug her, help cover her up, etc., and DS has to tell me EVERY time he sees her that he "love her soo muh-uch!" in a really funny high-pitched voice Melts my heart. GL with your decision. We're very happy with ours!

 

I have a very good friend who has fraternal twins boys who are almost 4 and one year old fraternal twin girls. :faint:

 

thank you so much for all your stories! It's good to know that it is possible!! One big question i have is how did you all handle the pregnancy? I was sooo sooo tired my first trimester and really sick a lot. I can't imagine doing any of that with 2 kids to take care of! Im hoping it just all goes away when you have two kids depending on you to take care of them but it just seems impossible!

 

No advice here because the twins are my first but we are actively trying now for another and ours will be 15 months old in a week. DH and I both decided we wanted at least one more and I'm not getting any younger, so we decided to go for it. We're using clomid so I know there's a risk on top of my age (34) but we decided we were ok with it. Good luck and keep us posted!

 

There are so many factors. Yes, the risks chances of having a second set of twins if your first are fraternal (and spontanious).
My first set is IVF. My second set was spontanious when the twins turned two. We weren't preventing because of the IVF. Of course, Evan lost his twin early in my pregnancy. Three years apart worked for us, but a lot of people like 2 years between kids (including my parents). I absolutely love being pregnant. Good luck & happy trying!

 

We have 20 month old b/g twins and a 7 month old daughter. We were very surprised to find out I was pregnant when the twins were 5 months old! I think the newborn phase when I was breastfeeding nonstop and DH took care of the twins on his own pretty much 24 hrs a day and the phase we are in right now has been the hardest. Our oldest DD has finished teething and all of the sudden seems so mature and rarely fusses. She's definitely mommy's little helper. Our DS is still teething and that has always been incredibly traumatic for him, so cutting molars has been off the charts traumatic for him. He's now starting to act a little jealous when I'm with the baby, but we're working on that.

Some days I wish I could divide myself into three equal parts and take care of each baby one on one. But I do the best I can and DH is a huge help! It takes a WHOLE LOT of team work to have three under 2 years old and he's absolutely amazing with all of them. Even with it's challenges, I wouldn't change our situation for anything. Fussiness and occasional jealousy aside, we're getting to an easier stage with everyone. The twins are talking more, playing together more and the baby is about to start crawling, sleeps through the night, nurses less, etc. I can even go to Target with all three by myself now - granted it's always a quick trip! I love watching them play together and I am really looking forward to having three so close in age. When we had Sullivan we were already "knee deep" in baby mode so there really wasn't much about our lives that had to change which was nice. We just kept rolling along. I think for us it might have actually been harder to have two independent pre-schoolers and then start all over again. DH is in the military and this is a two-year non-deployable assignment which is perfect for us at this stage in our lives. He's been here for every minute of it all. It's such a personal decision and you have to know what you're up for. There are so many factors to consider, but it sounds like you and your husband are doing a great job of weighing the benefits and possibilities. That's all you can do.