They're Angels Until....

My kids are really great and overall I really love this stage. I mean, they're 2 and of course they do 2-year-old things, but they're not terrors. The BIG exception is when I am trying to dress them or change their diapers. I dread changing their clothes, putting on PJ's, and changing diapers. They are NOT ready to PT despite my wishes/hopes to the contrary. Does anyone have any good suggestions? I do 1-2-3 Magic, which works in every other scenario, but when it comes to getting dressed they use it as a stalling mechanism and ask to go to Time Out. I suppose I could try changing them into PJs at like 6pm, then they'd have 2 hours to sit in TO or decide to cooperate with getting dressed for bed?! Our bedroom TO spot is different (on a different level of the house) than the standard TO spot, and they do not sit well in it, either. So, basically, they "go to TO", then they roll all over the hall and crawl up and down the stairs.

Right now, they fight me, roll all over, kick, scream, and run away so that I will chase them. Often, while they have bare, poop-covered bottoms! :gah: I find myself threatening to take away things I have no intention of taking away and just really making a mess of the whole situation. :cry:

Help me!!!

Thanks

 

Have you tried reverse psychology? My girls will have absolutely no interest in the getting dressed until I tell them I am going to wear their clothes, then all of a sudden they are all about it! Or what about letting them choose what they want to wear? Or letting them attempt to get dressed themselves? Making a game out of it, and asking them to put their Left arm through, and see if they get it right? TV as a distraction also helps, because then they are more inclined to pay attention to that, rather than fight me.

As far as changing diapers go, I tend to make a competition out of it...I will ask them who can run the fastest to mommy?? Who can be my good listener?? You don't want to be wearing that yucky stinky diaper do you??? Amazingly enough, if I can twist it so that they feel like they somewhat have control over the situation, they are much more cooperative. I praise them constantly when they listen and do the right thing, and they love feeling like they are the most important thing in the world!

Good Luck!!

 

I agree with Kyrstyn on the reverse psychology thing. Although, I use it for eating. I haven't had to use it for dressing. Same concept though....don't eat that, mommy wants it. Don't take a bite because mommy wants to eat it all. Usually they start eating away or at least try it if it's something new.

For dressing, we usually use bribery (in a way). :blush: For instance in the morning, if we're going somewhere I can bribe them with a car ride or going bye bye. "Do you want to go bye-bye? Ok, then we need to get dressed." -or- for bedtime...."Do you want to watch a movie or listen to music or read a book, etc..? Ok, then we need to get your PJ's on".

I agree about letting them have some control over the situation or at least letting them feel like they do.

 

Okay, how do I get them down the stairs in the morning? Tell them to not go down the stairs? My two will go, "okay," and go back up them!!

 

When I saw the title of this thread, I immediately filled in, "...they wake up." :lol:

Ugh, that's a tough one. Have you tried bribes? Also agree about reverse psychology. Mine will have no interest in getting dressed, but as soon as I say, "Let's get ____ dressed first," they have a screaming match about who goes first, and we have to flip a coin.

 

You mentioned threatening to take away things you have no intention of taking away, but I get bedtime cooperation by taking away night-time books. He generally gets 3 books, but if he starts throwing a fit or being difficult, the number of books decreases. He's miserable when he only gets 1 book (or even none once or twice!) but he is much better the next night.

Do you have anything like that as part of your bedtime routine that you could take away so that they get more immediate consequences?

 

I have always given them the choice to help me or I would do it myself. Yes that led to some wrestling matches, but there was never a question that Mommy is in charge and we'll do what I say needs doing. Poopy diapers were never fun when they wanted to get away, but I had two ways to keep them still. I would lay them in front of me with their head to my left (since I'm right handed), put their arms up and put my leg over their chest. I'd plant my heal so I wasn't crushing them, obviously, but my leg was low enough they couldn't roll to the side or get their arms under. Then I'd do what I had to do to get them clean and a new diaper on. When it was all over I'd remind them that it would have been a whole lot easier if they had just come and laid still when I needed to change their diaper. The other way was to put them with their head away from me, feet in my lap. Then I put one leg over each arm near the shoulder. That pinned them down long enough to get it done. That stopped working as they grew because their shoulders were too far away! lol It sounds mean, but when it comes down to it, mom's the boss and they'll do what I tell them even if I have to force them to do it. Hope something in there helps!

 

when I watched the 1-2-3 Magic seminar on a video tape from the library the author referenced his next book about getting them To Do Things (Start Behavior)... verses the Stop Behavior that the main book is about... I haven't looked into it yet, but he talked about getting them to eat better etc. i wonder if that book would have any suggestions for you if the suggestions above don't help.

123magic

good luck...

 

Thankfully mine don't fight getting dressed, but that could be because we have to give Joel a nebulizer treatment every morning and night and we let them watch a short video. And during that time is when we get Bryan dressed. He's usually mesmerized by the tv, that he'll let me to do anything to him! Same thing in the morning- Sesame street or Dinosaur Train is on during nebs. So maybe just try to distract them? And we're all lucky in the fact that there's two, so anything can be made a competition. "who wants to go first to wash their hands?!?" And then they race to see who is first... or whatnot, you get the idea.

 

I try and use what I like to call "incentives" (yes this is bribes, but for some reason I feel the word incentives makes it sound better!! LOL), anyway my DD loves to have a few stickers in the morning, so I tell her once she is dressed she gets her stickers. Works every time for her. DS is not quite as easy, but I do tell them that I will bring a toy down for them once they are dressed (I have a several up on a high shelf, that I bring down for such cases). Or, at bedtime I would say, once you get your pjs on then we can read a book, or then you can have your milk, or fruit, or tv - or whatever works for them! But, no book until pjs are on - and that has always worked for us.
As for diaper changes the things that work for me - are holding toys or objects while I do it, or getting them involved by picking out the diaper they want, or "helping" mommy by taking the wipes out and handing them to me.

Good luck - I can't imagine wrestling 2 toddlers for diaper changes and clothing changes - that would take forever in our house as they seem to be so wiggly and strong!!

 

You are so lucky. I don't even know if I mentioned that Alice refuses to get dressed, and hates diaper changing and Royce doesn't care much for it either. Mornings are especially hard because they're both angry and mad and it's only me trying to get them completely dressed (shoes and jacket included).