they are so demanding

My 3 year olds are so demanding and it's driving me insane! With a new baby in the house my time is really spread thin right now. So when I fix myself a meal I know I have to sit and eat it as fast as I possibly can, and that's when the requests start coming. "I want to paint. I don't like this milk. I want a vitamin. I have to potty and can't get my shirt off. I want to watch Mickey Mouse." :headbang: I start off by telling them mommy is eating breakfast/lunch/dinner right now and will help you as soon as I'm finished. But they just keep asking for more things until I am yelling it at them.

The meal time is just an example, they are very demanding all the time.

How do you teach them patience?

 

Anyone?!?!? Lol. We are dealing with this issue as well so I got nothing!!

 

Sorry - I am not much help and mine aren't as old as yours so it will probably get worse around here. The only thing I do is just don't give in - meaning if they demand something I say I will get it/do it in a minute and finish what I am doing. So far, they seem to understand and now mimic me saying in a minute, mama? Good luck - I think patience is one that takes a while to learn unfortunately.

 

We have had the same problem around here too. Sometimes I think they are demanding because they are competing for attention with the baby. Our baby is a year now. They are getting better at waiting but they don't forget. As soon as the baby goes to sleep, they are back to all of their requests and they want them all now. I thought they would have better patience because they have always had a sibling and had to wait for feedings, diaper changes, etc. Boy, was I wrong. I hope things get better for you soon.

 

I eat with them, or if I want to enjoy my meal, when they're asleep!

I was totally stressing myself out trying to teach them that I could only hold one, carry two at a time, they had to wait while I did whatever, we had to take care of the baby first, etc. All they were doing was screaming at me. Now, I use reverse psychology and smother whoever wants to be held/loved and they quickly get bored with it and leave me and go play. It's actually working quite well and we're all getting in more hugs and kisses! If they say, "hold you/ carry you mommy peees", I say, "Oh yes! I've been wanting to hold you, come here and let me kiss and hug you. I love you so much. Let me tell you a story and let me hold you like I did when you were a baby..." and at that point they squirm away laughing and go back to playing. I was spending hours a day fighting this battle and now there is so much less crying and whining for me.

I also play with them a lot and straighten/clean/cook while they're asleep. I'm old and my nerves can't handle the screams, so I'm probably raising them to have zero patience and I'll have to deal with that issue before I know it!

 

I hear you! It's so frustrating and I don't have another LO to care for either. So far I have found 3 to try my patience terribly!

I think there are some alternatives such as eating with them or when they are sleeping or something like that, but that isn't a solution all the time. I've been trying to allow them to do something 'with' me. For instance, if I am folding laundry I might give them some things to put away. It's a distraction and gives me time to get through what I'm doing. I know I will likely have to go behind them and make sure things made it where they are supposed to go, but it seems to work (DD can put towels and wash clothes away really well now). I also let them put the laundry in the washer or dryer with me.

I am also still trying to redirect, but now it is more specific. I'll set them up with an activity or something if I need to do dishes or cook dinner. That will buy me 15 minutes and then I'm ready with another one when they get bored. Sometimes I'll ask them to go play with their dolls/trains/cars/puzzles/etc that they can do on their own. Sometimes that works too.

Finally, if they cannot be distracted and get bossy asking for anything and everything while I'm trying to eat/cook/wash/clean/etc, then I explain that they will have to wait. If they throw a fit or get out of hand, that is the point where I would send them to their room if they can't be nice and/or patient with mommy. It comes to that more often with my DS as he can be quite explosive and super bossy.

Of course sometimes I just give in and get them what they want or ask for even if it is inconvenient to avoid the drama.

 

3 yr olds are a whole new game. It has been rough at times. Not looking forward to it with 2 new babies. But I often tell them they have to wait a few minutes for my help. They have gotten better at waiting. I think once htey reallized that I would do it later it helped and now they are getting better. Maybe you can set a timer and when it goes off then help them wtih ______. It is not easy and something they are having to learn at this age. Good luck.

 

I eat with them, or if I want to enjoy my meal, when they're asleep!

Exactly same here!

 

I know this is harder for you but could you set the stove timer or microwave timer and tell them when it dings you are available? When I made the timer responsible for time keeping, my son seemed to stop the constant nagging. I am assuming you are setting them up with toys/games/art stuff/food/whatever before you eat but they are seeing you not "busy" so they are demanding your time. Also, you could start a routine where you read them books or interact with them for 10 mins before you eat so they get some time with you and probably by the end, they will be done with you so you can eat in peace.

Good luck.

 

Same boat. I just repeat the same thing over and over (calmly even tho I'm not THAT calm.) "I'll do that for you as soon as I'm done doing ABC."

And I don't rush thru what I'm doing no matter how badly he's screaming at me. "I'm going to PEE MY PANTS THEN!!!!!!"

I just go about my business because I think it might EVENTUALLY lead to him understanding that I am not at his beck and call??

I don't know??