They are horrible!

Goodness, I swear I am at my rope's end with my boys!!!

It seems they have NO discipline! No matter what we say, they are constantly out of control. I'm not talking normal 2-3yr old stuff, I'm talking pre-SuperNanny style behavior!

We set what we feel are fair boundaries for their age. I think we are consistent in maintaining those boundaries and rules. But they just don't care. Yesterday, Anthony probably spent more time in time out than anywhere else!!!

I know they are still young and still need heavy supervision, but honestly I cannot turn my back on them for even 10 sec without coming back to a huge problem! I can't clean, I can't cook, I can't pee!

What am I doing wrong?!?!?!?!

Seriously, I guess my question is where in the world do we find resources to get this under control?

 

Hi,

I think we met once ages ago at Kemah. I have the boy/girl twins that are 2yrs 9 months. I wanted to say maybe time out is not the thing for your kids. Some kids respond to it some don't. You need to find what works for your kids. If they hate social isolation then maybe time in a pack n play or thier crib/room would be better. I have had to resort to taking toys away if the time outs don't work. I sometimes put a toy in TO if the they are fighting over it. Also, after TO they have to apologize for what they did (I am sorry for not listening, etc.) and give me a kiss.

I find they are better behaved if I am playing with them than when I need them to play by themselves. And there are somedays when we just need to get out of the house. With all this rain we have hit the mall of the mainland, the library, and the indoor play places.

BTW the local twins club has gotten alot of playdates together latlely if you think that might be something you are interested in. I am also a member of the local chapter of international MOMS club which I find really great for helping me stay sane.

HTH helps
Laurie

 

QUOTE(Fay @ Jul 30 2007, 08:41 AM) [snapback]349408[/snapback]
Goodness, I swear I am at my rope's end with my boys!!!

It seems they have NO discipline! No matter what we say, they are constantly out of control. I'm not talking normal 2-3yr old stuff, I'm talking pre-SuperNanny style behavior!

We set what we feel are fair boundaries for their age. I think we are consistent in maintaining those boundaries and rules. But they just don't care. Yesterday, Anthony probably spent more time in time out than anywhere else!!!

I know they are still young and still need heavy supervision, but honestly I cannot turn my back on them for even 10 sec without coming back to a huge problem! I can't clean, I can't cook, I can't pee!

What am I doing wrong?!?!?!?!

Seriously, I guess my question is where in the world do we find resources to get this under control?

 

My b/g twins are 27 months old my son pinches,hits,bites,pushes his sister all the time. Time out doesnt work and like you I cant turn my back away for a second. So if you know of a book on behavior I would definately buy it. Doing dishes takes me 2 hours to do and god forbid if i need to pee. They are finally in a good daycare so i wanted to look for a job but now im afraid my son will be kicked out cus hes been biting the other daycare children.

 

I wish I had some advice for you but I'm in the same boat and have been for a LOOOOOOONG time. When can I get off? LOL. For resources, my boys were in Early Intervention so I spoke with them. The speech therapist and their physical therapist were great at giving new ideas but I'm also waiting to hear back from their educator. The speech therapist also tells me there used to be a social worker on board who was great at dealing with these issues so maybe that's a direction you can look in? I also took a "parenting" class with the hopes of getting some new ideas but I'm not sure it will work for us due to the boys extreme behaviors.

 

QUOTE(newmomma @ Jul 30 2007, 02:28 PM) [snapback]349487[/snapback]
Hi,

I think we met once ages ago at Kemah. I have the boy/girl twins that are 2yrs 9 months.


Ha! What are the odds?! Were you the mom there with an older woman? And the babies had an NEC scare in the NICU? I had totally forgotten our accidental twin gathering that day. How would you have known that was me? lol I'm so stumped!

You know, you bring up a good point with the weather. Maybe that's why it seems so horribly out of control right now. I hadn't thought of Mall of the Mainland, but that's a great idea! They don't do well at the library (though they love it!) and even when the sun is finally out, the parks are all just mush

We'll need to make a bigger effort to get them out of the house where they can burn off all of this little man energy. I'm sure that would help them and would do wonders for my sanity. Maybe it's just a touch of cabin fever? Argh...it's still so overwhelming!

 

Cabin fever is a huge thing! My boys are miserable when at home for a long time. We get out at least once a day, if not twice, even if it's just to the mall. Even in the winter, I just bundle them up and let them go out for a bit. The other thing that was great for us once a week was a class at My Gym. That was paid for through early intervention, which they don't qualify for anymore for physcial therapy but we can't afford to send them ourselves :-(

 

I am joining your club...

I agree with the PP that when with them they are OK for the most part. I am also wondering if I need to have more 1 on 1 time with each. I do not know how I could get this accomplished. But it was in a magazine somewhere that it was important to help with bickering and jealousy issues... kind of made sense when I read it.

When I do TO, I have their noses to that corner. Do you do that? Mine all HATE it. And no binkies or anything in their hands... I do give them a chance to kiss the other before TO. Is that backwards?? :blink: If they kiss and make up, and promise not to do it again, they do not go to TO... Most of the time they will not kiss the other, so end up in TO even with the opportunity to avoid it.

I'll try to get out too. That is a good suggestion.

May the force be with us... h34r:

 

Where do I sigh up for this club.

I spent hours online reading the toehr day and checked out 7 yes 7 books from the library to figure out how to get this under control. they are awesome in public but BRATS at home and anyone elses home...

I fell for ya...
good luck

 

mine will correct the behavior once we threaten with TO, but I do not want to let them get away with poor behavior because they straightened up AFTER the threat. I want them to learn that this behavior = this consequence. So far, we don't seem to be there

 

My DS is at that same stage and I posted a similar lament just last week. I got the advice to start implementing taking things away when there are problems. I.e if you keep screaming you will not be able to watch "Cars". If you pinch I will take your juice/snack away. If you throw the blocks, not share etc...they will go in the garage and you will not be able to play with them. Serious temper tantrums get him sent right to his room and he knows when he is done he can come out.

I have also been "training" him to trade toys. So anytime the girls has something he wants he knows that he needs to give them something else to play with. Usuall that works, until they are not interested in the trade...one thing at a time. I also cheer him like mad when he shares or plays nice so he gets both possitive re-enforcement for great stuff and punishment for bad.

This is an age where more structure really helps, so I will be sending him to pre-school 2 days a week in addition to the 3 days he does daycare. I also find that he is MUCH worse here at home than he is with his sitter, so I do not worry about him getting kicked out or sent home.

I doubt you are in serious trouble...but the terrible 2's have no real meaning until your in the middle of them. I can't wait until the girls hit it...double whammy.

 

Fay, I wish I could give you some good advice but alas, I am still dealing with my 5 year old.... ho hum.

Just wanted to say sorry, and :hug99: I hope it gets better. Try and take a deep breath as often as possible.

 

I'm on the BAD kids boat too! We should all go on a cruise together :laughing: I have no advice, just sympathy. Although I do find that it is ALOT better when I keep them busy. It's much worse when we don't get out of the house.

 

I thought of something else, when you have to run to the potty maybe try letting them know what you expect thier behavior to be while you are gone. Something like "I am going to the potty for a minute I expect you to be nice, not to hit, not to dump out your toys, etc.... (insert whatever thier particular no-no thing is that day)".
I always try and let them know what I expect of them whenever we go out to a restaurant or a new place. Maybe it would help here too.

 

That explains my two exactly!! I am at my wits end as well! Today was HORRIBLE.

Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

 

All I can say is, I feel your pain. The Terrible Twos are indeed aptly named :icon_eek:

No magical solution here, but I find that time out (in the crib for now, since they would never stay in a chair) works pretty well. But sometimes nothing does... (I don't believe in spanking).

This, too, will pass (I hope!)

DeLana :hug99:

 

Holy moly, if you only knew how much better it feels to know I'm not the only dealing with this!!! I swear I feel like the world's worst mother EVER!!!!! I guess we'll just have to stick to our guns, to coin the phrase, and manage it the way we've made it through the first 3 years so far...by squeezing our eyes shut tight, clicking our heels and repeating "They say it gets better! They say it gets better! They say it gets better!!!"