These days are really tough

Ugh. Seriously, I feel like all I am doing these days is wishing time away. And, I don't know what I'm wishing for... I know there's no "easy" age.

Let me start by saying that sleep is horrible. HORRIBLE. I posted a few days ago that we're in the crib-to-bed transition phase. We've been waiting for Thursday when my DH will be off for a few days, as we're anticipating little (if it can get any less) sleep. Well, in the interim DS1 gets out of his crib at all hours. His wake up time is now about 2-3 hrs earlier than it had been. DS2 is waking in the night for whatever reason lately. Throw DS3 into the mix and he's up about twice a night to nurse. Last night, it took two hours for the older boys to stop their shenanigans and settle. Finally all 3 were down when DS3 woke up and threw up. When he went back to sleep, he was back up 2 hrs later. Then, 3 hrs later. Then, the older boys were up at 5:30. I believe my DH even had to go in once during the night, but I was with the baby. I am so tired that my head literally hurts. I figure I'm getting 4-5 hours, broken, on a good night.

Because sleep is so poor right now, the boys are tired and cranky which leads to constant fighting, whining, crying, not listening. I feel life a part-time referee, part-time drill sargeant. My house is a complete disaster from them playing so roughly. It doesn't even resemble what it used to be. The floors are all scuffed, paint is chipped, the rugs are stained, the windows look like they've been licked by a pack of dogs, curtain rods are pulled halfway off the walls. No matter how much I clean and straighten up, it's undone within minutes.

I love my boys more than anything, but this morning I'm having trouble even wanting to talk to them. I just feel like I have no control anymore. No control over when they sleep, what their moods are, a lot of their behavior, etc... Our life has been completely overtaken by them. And bedtime is only going to get worse when they have even more freedom in beds.

DH and I have NO time to even have a conversation anymore. Hes working a lot. I have been doing consulting work when I can squeeze in a couple of hours here and there. We used to have a couple of hours at night to unwind, but we don't even have that anymore with how long it's taking us to get everyone to sleep. Then I try to work if I have a bit of energy. We clean up around here and then invariably someone is up again!

Life feels daunting right now. In my former life, I successfully ran an organization. Now, I feel like I can't even run this household.

I hope in a month I'm posting that things are improved. Anyone else going through a tough phase?

 

You poor dear! Our house is chaotic, but I don't think we're near to going through what you are. I admit yours is a scenario I fear as we have 2 that turned 2 in April and one more arriving next month. You don't mention anything about having any help. We just hired a full-time nanny and already she is restoring my sanity and making me think I can make it through a few more years of infant/toddler fun. I highly recommend it for you if you can afford it. Even if your finances are limited, consider hiring a night nanny/babbysitter every here and there so you can get some sleep. For me, sleep is the biggest factor in whether or not I can deal with "life." When I am tired, the dirty floors, piles of laundry, crying kiddos, work, etc. are just too much. I eventually have a meltdown. However, when I get some sleep, the same obstacles don't seem so overwhelming.

Good luck and big hug.

 

Wow, that sounds BAD! I do know what you are going through... I would wake up so grumpy and have NO patience for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, it took us about 7 months to figure the bed thing out and I am finally getting good sleep at night (just in time for a new baby)! We transitioned our boys to toddler beds at 2 years 9 months, got rid of binkies at 3 years, and transitioned them again at 3 years 3 months to a full sized bed. I think they are much more comfortable in the regular full mattress than their old crib mattress we were using in their toddler bed. The things I found for us that helped: (1) Having a night light in each of their beds in easy reach. We use 2 Twilight Turtles that they love. We did have a problem before with them throwing them around the room, so now they are safely tied to their head board. (2) We leave their room dark, door open, and night light in the hallway. They hate having the door closed. (3) Now that they are in bigger beds, I spend about 10 minutes each in their bed cuddling them and scratching their backs. I think this helps settle them down and give them a little more security. We were doing "Super Nanny" style and just putting them back in bed when they got out or if they were goofing off, but that would last at least 60 minutes EVERY night, they were still waking 3-5 times a night each, and it just wasn't working. Most of the time, they are sleepy and settled when I leave (if not already asleep) and bedtime takes about 30 minutes total beginning to end. No yelling. Love it! (4) Bribes. I give them a "sleep treat" when they wake up if they stay in bed all night, be quiet, and wake up dry. I make sure that they know what they need to do when we say prayers to get a sleep treat.

I am so relieved to FINALLY have sleeping resolved. They sleep from 8:30p-6:30a and take a 90 minute nap in the middle of the day. You will get there too!!! You will probably have to try a million things to find what works best for your boys, but these are a few ideas that worked for us. I wish you luck and hope that you are posting that things have gotten better SOON!!!

 

I can completely relate to where you are coming from, my twins just turned 3yrs and I have a 9 month old. Life was difficult with the twins and now its very hard with the baby all of the kids are so young at this age they need constant help and supervision. I really dont have the magic answer I just want to say that I know how you feel and I am so sorry you are going through this. I just keep telling myself "this too shall pass" So a suggestion, atleast it worked for us, if possible can you split the boys up and put them in their own room? I know that we did that right around your twins' age. Bedtime and naps for that matter were becoming really really crazy and out of control and then like magic splitting them they have not had any problems sleeping and go to bed very easily. Honestly I think they really enjoy having something that is all their own. If that is not an option or something you would like to consider, when we transitioned to beds it was difficult for a little bit getting them to sleep but we put up a gate at their door (a extra tall gate that they could not climb over or open). It helped keep them contained in their room and we did not have to worry about them getting up and coming into our room.

I dont know what your schedule is like but I have made it a point that no matter what type of sleep schedule the baby needs he will for sure take his longest nap when the twins sleep and I have to take a nap literally every day when they do. And honestly for my sanity if I can just try to lay down for only 30 min it will help me power through the rest of the afternoon. Also try to get some help even if its a babysitter coming over to walk the twins around the block or taking them to the park it helps clean the slate so to speak with you and them. I have realized that when I am with the boys nonstop we all tend to get on each other's nerves and I know they need a change of scenery with a new face. I do have help from my mom but she is too afraid to take on all 3 most of the time So i just tell her please take the twins haha!

Anyways I just want to say I'm sorry that you guys are having a rough time, it is very hard and I hope and pray that it will turn a corner for your family. I think twinstuff is a great outlet for moms like us and I always find a remark or post on here that gives me the reassurance that I am not "The Mom" with crazy kids This is normal and my kids are normal, well somedays and there always is some kind of supportive advice for whatever I'm going through. Good luck and you are doing a great job!

 

YES!!!!!
I haven't much that can help but I definately know where you're coming from!

I could've written most of your post,especially the above. I'm sorry that this is so hard, it can be such a lonely thing. I also think it's a love/hate thing to go through. I hate that it's so hard, both mentally, emotionally and physically. But at the same time, I don't want them to grow up - they're my babies!

Iwrote a similar topic and it's good to come accross yours and know that others go through similar things!
I'm with you on the house looking terrible. I could barely keep up even when the girls were sleeping in the day, I'm absolutely dreading putting them into toddler beds. They've currently been in bed for 1 1/2 hours - sleep? HA, as if!!

Anyway, hope things at your house settle for you, and that we'll be posting about it soon! :grouphug:

 

UGH!! I just went through something like this where I was just not functioning and had no patience for my kids at all. Thankfully my husband was able to take my older daughter with him to work one morning and I put my twins in bed with me and we all slept alllll morning and till like 2 pm. It totally renewed and refreshed me!! Maybe you and your husband can switch off being 'on duty' for a couple of nights so both of you get some decent sleep? You will feel so much better!