There must be something about Zellers...

Every time I go to Zellers with my kids (there is one just 2 blocks from my house) I am inundated with rude comments about my twins. Every once in a while, I get a nice one, but for the most part they are rude.

Last week, while I took the kids out to pick up a gift for a lady who is fixing up our gardens and yard, I stopped in Zellers to look at the jewlery. 2 ladies walked passed me, looked at the double stroller, laughed and said "Ahh.. Double Trouble!" and kept walking. I said, loudly enough for them to hear me as they laughed and walked around the corner - "No, DOUBLE BLESSING!!"
Then, my dd said "Double Blessing". Thank God she said THAT and not "Double Trouble!!"

Today, as soon as I walked in, a lady approached me and asked if they were twins. She said "Oh, your blessed!! I just lost a baby, so please, take care of them".
Then, just minutes after that, an older lady said "Oh, twins?? Double TERRIBLE!!!" I just told her frankly, "No, you shouldn't say rude things about my kids, because they know what you are saying. They are a double blessing" She said sorry, and walked away.

Later, right before I left, I ran into a family with identical 3 year old boys. The boys were pretty out of control and were causing their parents alot of grief. I talked to them briefly and I found the mom SO negative. She made comments about how this is what I had to look forward to. I told her the comment I had received today and she said that her twins were double trouble. I just tried to be positive, and talked about how much of a blessing twins were, but I knew that she was pretty PO'd with her boys. That made me sad.
I know there are days where we all wonder what the heck we got ourselves into. Zayne was whining the ENTIRE time we were out about something I could not understand...and yes, it was embarrassing and annoying, but the whole time, I just kept telling them both that they were a double blessing.
It's not like mommies of singletons don't have their days, or their opportunities to get stressed out. It's not like Singletons are perfect angels or never act up. But for some reason, having twins makes people think that our life is a living ****.

I think that my responses to negative comments needs to be more bold. My kids, especially Zayne, repeat everything and soon they will understand what people are saying when they say how hard it must be and how difficult my kids are. For now, I will tell people that they shouldn't say rude things about people they don't know, and that my kids are such a blessing to us!!

I met a mommy with 6 year old triplets a few weeks ago, and she was so positive and encouraging. It's so nice to talk to people who see their kids as double or TRIPLE the blessing!!

 

I have three real close in age and we always get the same old comments too. The worst one was a woman who said she'd shoot herself if she had twins! For the most part I just smile and ignore the comments because I think to respond just makes me look bitter and defensive. If I were to make a big deal about it my boys would pick up on that more than the comment itself. I really find that for the most part they aren't meant to be rude, they're pretty innoccent. Now having said that, pity the person who is ever going to be outright rude to my boys! =@

 

I think most people are just trying to be funny or friendly, not rude, and I kind of like that people reach out to talk to a stranger, even if they say something awkward. For those few who actually mean to be rude - and I know they're out there - clearly their lives aren't as happy. I like the idea of the previous poster who said she just smiles. When we've encountered rudeness together, I tell my twins that not everyone is as lucky as we are, so you have to be really nice to people because you don't know what they're going through.

Also - being nice really throws rude people off their game!

Best wishes,
Mia

 

I too get irritated by the same old comments every time I go out. For the most part I try not to let it get to me, I know people aren't necessarily trying to be rude, but they are my children they are talking about. Like yesterday we took the boys to the zoo. Carter wears a helmet because he has plagiocephaly (flattening on one side of his head) and between that and the double stroller I was beginning to feel like we were on display. I just tried not to look anyone in the eye signaling to them that I didn't want to talk. I have a hard time knowing how to respond to people's comments too, but I always try to turn it into a positive. That is, afterall, how we feel about it.

 

Em, I think you did a great job "defending" twins! (I say "defending" because it's not like they need defending!) I've met the people with older twins that were exasperated too and I just smile and quickly get on my way!

Is Zellers a dept. store? Never heard of it out here in the wild West!

 

QUOTE(~* dfaut *~ @ May 1 2007, 07:56 PM) [snapback]240446[/snapback]
Is Zellers a dept. store? Never heard of it out here in the wild West!


Zellers is a Canadian store similiar to Wal Mart, but smaller.

 

I could have been that Mom with the three year old boys. I have days when I wish some one would put me out of my misery. Unlike you, I don't always feel blessed and am tired of everyone telling me how wonderful my life is because I have two. You just never know what one person may be going through. One thing for sure, most people are interested, want a little conversation and mean well. I suppose differences are what make the world go 'round.

 

I have to say, as the oldest of 8 kids, comments like that do get to you (when you're old enough to understand them) when you hear them OVER and OVER. I don't know what it is, like everyone can't come up with something original to say & you get the same thing all the time. "Double trouble" or "you've got your hands full" ..... might not be meant in a rude way, but they do have a negative connotation to them. As a kid, you pick up on that after awhile.

Right now mine aren't old enough to understand what people say, but when they do get to that age I just pray I'll be able to know when to say something & when not to & know the right thing to say. I think you did just right. I think in the cases where I don't say something to that person, I'll still explain to my kids every time they are blessings to me & daddy.

 

QUOTE(nikeezboys @ May 2 2007, 12:27 AM) [snapback]240473[/snapback]
I could have been that Mom with the three year old boys. I have days when I wish some one would put me out of my misery. Unlike you, I don't always feel blessed and am tired of everyone telling me how wonderful my life is because I have two. You just never know what one person may be going through. One thing for sure, most people are interested, want a little conversation and mean well. I suppose differences are what make the world go 'round.


THANK GOD, there's someone else out there. I was just about to post this same thing! Not all of us are able to "walk on cloud nine" with our children. I love my boys, and I do want more children, BUT my boys are extremely irritable and cranky (have been since birth) and can just be downright difficult to deal with. I do the best I can but when I hear other mom's going on and on about how great it is, I just want to crawl into a hole and not come out sometimes. THis evening, I just sat at the table and cried. I look forward to going to work on the 2.5 days I do. These are their personalities and it's just something I have to accept, but that doesn't mean it's easy to deal with.

 

I agree that people are just so interested that they want to say something and they think Double Trouble is cute. I don't think the realize that is can be hurtful. My response usually when they say Double Trouble is "Oh, I don't think so. They're pretty cool." But on those other days (the ones where I want to run and hide) I've sometimes replied "Yep"

The comment that DOES get under my skin the most is when they say - in front of my almost 3 year old daughter - "Well, could you imagine if it was 3 girls??" Now I know what they likely mean (i was **** on wheels as teenageer) But that to me is one of those subtle comments that affects the psyche. It can imply that girls are worse than boys.