The twins got spankings tonight

I never spanked Alyssa but she didn't do what they did.

The guys decided to play with their nightlight and they broke off the bulb. I'm not even sure I was able to get all the pieces up - the little that was in the dustpan did not seem to add up to one bulb. The wires from the broken bulb were sticking up out of the nightlight part and I hope to God that there was a circuit break in there or they could have had one heck of a shock.

I am furious. And I spanked in anger and fear. I hope this never happens again on all our parts.

What should I do tomorrow to reinforce the message of 'no touch'?

 

I would say to them "mommy spanked you last night in anger and I should not have done that. but you should NOT have touched that light bulb. you could have gotten a bad owie. "

 

QUOTE(p31heather @ Sep 13 2007, 03:23 AM) [snapback]405586[/snapback]
I would say to them "mommy spanked you last night in anger and I should not have done that. but you should NOT have touched that light bulb. you could have gotten a bad owie. "


Ditto the message here. I think you need to do two things - reassure them that the spanking will not happen again (I'm assuming you do not spank in general) and explain to them that they could have gotten hurt. They should be old enough to understand this even if they don't get all the nuances.

 

hmmm... Personally, I would not appologize at all for the spanking. There was a reason for it and I wouldn't want to send a mixed message. That could have been a lot more serious. I actually wouldn't even bring the punishment up again, just positive reinforcement. Basically this is a nightlight, this is what it is for, what you did yesterday will not happen again. Period. That's my .02

 

QUOTE(Ree5264 @ Sep 12 2007, 09:03 PM) [snapback]405613[/snapback]
hmmm... Personally, I would not appologize at all for the spanking. There was a reason for it and I wouldn't want to send a mixed message. That could have been a lot more serious. I actually wouldn't even bring the punishment up again, just positive reinforcement. Basically this is a nightlight, this is what it is for, what you did yesterday will not happen again. Period. That's my .02


I'm kind of thinking along these same lines...

 

QUOTE(Ree5264 @ Sep 13 2007, 12:03 AM) [snapback]405613[/snapback]
hmmm... Personally, I would not apologize at all for the spanking. There was a reason for it and I wouldn't want to send a mixed message. That could have been a lot more serious. I actually wouldn't even bring the punishment up again, just positive reinforcement. Basically this is a nightlight, this is what it is for, what you did yesterday will not happen again. Period. That's my .02


I agree. I think apologizing for spanking them will open up a whole other can of worms. Best not to go there, kwim? I would give some positive reinforcement from this point out. I know I would have handled the same as you, playing with electrical is no joke.

 

I would not apologize either - you didn't do anything wrong. The boys could have seriously gotten hurt. I also wouldn't replace the nightlight for awhile. My son who is 3 1/2 threw his across the room i it was just the outer part but it shattered - the bulb was still plugged in. I spanked him and took the light out. He just recently got a new one.

 

i agree with the PP. without getting into a spanking debate, you did spank them as a punishment for a very dangerous action, hopefully, they won't try it again. i don't keep nightlights in my little one's room b/c it is too welcoming. maybe just leave it out for now. or you could get those tap ones, they are plastic and you can stick them up higher on the wall.

 

If you were furious and spanked out of anger then I would definitely apologize. I don't spank and my children do not have a night light but I absolutely apologize when I get unnecessarily angry. I know I shouldn't respond to them like that, I know it upsets the children and I know I don't want them to learn to respond that way so I apologize and tell them what I did wasn't right etc etc. Then proceed on to the 'while getting angry wasn't the right thing to do, this is what upset me and why'.

 

Not going to touch on the spanking but if it was out of anger, I would apologize.
There are nightlights out there that don't have bulbs. I would change the situation to start with and put things that are 'childproof' within their reach at this age. I think they are still too fascinated with things at this age to leave them alone.

 

QUOTE(Dianne @ Sep 13 2007, 01:40 PM) [snapback]405919[/snapback]
If you were furious and spanked out of anger then I would definitely apologize. I don't spank and my children do not have a night light but I absolutely apologize when I get unnecessarily angry. I know I shouldn't respond to them like that, I know it upsets the children and I know I don't want them to learn to respond that way so I apologize and tell them what I did wasn't right etc etc. Then proceed on to the 'while getting angry wasn't the right thing to do, this is what upset me and why'.

Ditto what Dianne said. I think apologizing sets a good example, and also teaches that it's OK to make mistakes (and admit it!).

Michelle

 

QUOTE(Ree5264 @ Sep 13 2007, 12:03 AM) [snapback]405613[/snapback]
hmmm... Personally, I would not appologize at all for the spanking. There was a reason for it and I wouldn't want to send a mixed message. That could have been a lot more serious. I actually wouldn't even bring the punishment up again, just positive reinforcement. Basically this is a nightlight, this is what it is for, what you did yesterday will not happen again. Period. That's my .02

I agree with you completely. I would just move on and use positive reinforcement.

 

Is there a way you could put the night light somewhere else? Or use a closet light with closed door? I think the main thing for me would be to remove anything that could hurt them. Instead of spanking, prevent.

 

QUOTE(betseeee @ Sep 12 2007, 10:43 PM) [snapback]405601[/snapback]
Ditto the message here. I think you need to do two things - reassure them that the spanking will not happen again (I'm assuming you do not spank in general) and explain to them that they could have gotten hurt. They should be old enough to understand this even if they don't get all the nuances.


I agree with apologizing for the spanking, whether or not you choose to use spanking as a part of regular discipline. You did spank for a reason and the reason was that you were angry and frightened, like you described. That type of a spanking is taking your emotions out on your children, not disciplining (I realize that sounds very judgmental, so please know that I do NOT mean it to be. I think we all react to our emotions in ways we might regret later as parents and I don't think it makes us lesser moms). Teaching them not to touch the night light is important, but I think it is equally important--if not more important--to teach them that it's not acceptable to lash out in anger and that when we need to apologize when we've made a poor decision or hurt somebody.

As the children, they do need to learn that some things are off limits even if it's accessible. As a parent, it's a reminder that if something unsafe is available, they might get into it. Perhaps it's best to find a more child-resistant light source until they are a little bit older.

I'm sorry the situation is bugging you and I hope the three of you are feeling better about it soon.

 

Thanks for all your advice, I really appreciate it!