The TV trap

We moved 5 days ago and we have TV now... How did you guys who have had tv forever do it? Seriously, if I don't have TV on the kids get into everything and drive me nuts, if the TV is on, they're quiet and I can actually get things done... I'm really trying not to turn it on too much, but they know how to do it, and after 30 minutes of 'stop opening the drawer, stop playing with the AC button, stop taking the stuff out of the dishwasher, please put that toy away before taking another one out', when they turn the thing on, I don't really want to turn it off... then I feel awful because they watch tv 2 hours a day... going on 3...

Any tip to avoiding the TV trap? Our yard should be ready today so it should help some, but still. Before we moved they only had access to two rooms and the kitchen/entrance were gated off (small apartment), so they couldn't really get too much in trouble, but here with no gates and more room, it gets pretty bad.

 

I set a limit & then I stick to it. For a long time, my 2 weren't interested in TV, now it's all they want to do. They each get to pick a show (half hour show) to watch in the morning, then again in the evening while I'm cooking dinner. That's it. The rest of the day they have to find something else to do.

 

Like Tina said... set a limit and stick to it, even when having them watch TV is easier for you. So if you're comfortable with an hour a day, tell your kids and don't ever ever ever budge from that hour. If you make exceptions or allow extra TV time then your kids will understand that it's not really a limit, it's negotiable.

My girls know that on Mondays and Fridays we watch one 1/2 hour of TV. That's it. If they ask on a different day I say "no, it's Tuesday. We don't watch TV on Tuesday." And because I always say the same thing, they accept it.

It's way too easy to use the TV as a babysitter, so try not to get into the habit. That said, you just moved, and you're unpacking and getting settled in. So if the TV is on a bit more than you'd normally like, don't freak out. Just don't make it the normal thing. Perhaps tell yourself that for two weeks after moving, you'll allow 2 hours of TV a day so you can get things organized. Then for 2 more weeks it will be 1 hour a day. Then no TV, or whatever amount you're comfortable with. Trust me, kids who don't watch TV learn to amuse themselves pretty quickly.

 

For us the tv is on all day long and has been but they maybe watch 20 minutes when they first wake up and when they wake up from nap. The rest of the time they hardly notice it's on unless music comes on or one of their favorite shows.
We do spend a lot of time outside and I make sure that certain things are done with the tv off, like eating and craft time. But I love background noise....
I didn't do anything different for my oldest and to this day he maybe watches 30 minutes of tv a day. I'm sure that doesn't help at all, but that has been our experience.

 

We watch more than most people would probably be comfortable with. Easily several hours a day. It's just not something that I care about all that much, honestly. However, if you want to keep a tighter control on TV time I think it's best to make TV part of your routine so they know what the TV rules are. For instance, only 1 show after breakfast and 1 show after nap. If you never turn it on other than those times, they'll understand the rule eventually. If they can push the buttons to turn it on, you could try to cover them up somehow. When mine were babies, we were able to use packing tape to cover the area with the button and then they couldn't push it in.

 

I tend to let them watch more in the morning. That's for my own selfish reasons. I like to have some "me" time to wake up before dealing with all the fighting and getting into things. I'll usually let them watch a 1/2 hour show before nap and before bed. There are days we are out of the house and don't watch much at all. There are other days that it seems like it's on all day. Those days, they usually go off and play in their playroom. It depends on the day. It's going to rain here this afternoon, so we'll probably watch more than we usually do this afternoon. We'll see how the day goes. I try not to stress about it. If it keeps me sane, then I don't care right now. I'll limit it as they get older.

 

I totally see how its so easy to let the tv be the baby sitter! we don't even do tv much, just dvds and only a couple of months ago did we change out a tv to a combo dvd player so that they can watch it in the kitchen/main play area. pretty much we didn't do any tv before 2, a main reason is just that it seem so much is nonsense or junk... and then another reason for us was that we've been told that it contributes to attention issues with the kids. we don't need any of that. with that in mind, I have started letting them watch a 30min. program a couple of times a week, and it is so easy to just push play again when its done!!

I love the idea that if you want to limit it you have specific days and/or times that are tv times. great idea!

as for keeping them out of everything... we haven't been good at the training of being able to get them to not do things... I just keep gating off or locking stuff up... just so I don't have to deal with it. the kitchen is the big one now... it leads to the laundry room... ugh! good luck!

 

We have scheduled TV time. They watch it first thing in the morning and one show in the evening after bathtime. It is hard to keep them busy so they are not into everything. BUT...keeping them busy is the key! We do alot of outside play, playdough, coloring, sidewalk chalk, etc... I am sure (once your yard is ready to go) that will help. We also get out of the house whenever we can. I agree, though, it is really easy to turn to the TV for instant entertainment and distraction. I am totally guilty of doing it on days when I feel like I might lose my mind! :crazy:

 

A&R watch television, but they don't like what we watch. In the evenings I let them watch an episode of Dora or Diego, or whatever they want, until dinner is ready. Once dinner is ready, it goes on the news, then Wheel of Fortune, and Jeopardy. Then it's bedtime.

I think you'll be fine again once the novelty wears off.

 

I agree. Right now I try to limit the TV time...the TV is off 30 minutes before naptime and 30 minutes before bedtime, so they can wind down.

 

We don't have tv, but I just wanted to say that limiting it will probably be easier once you settle into your new place. Right now the kids are all discombobulated from the move, and there are so many new things to explore, AND you are so busy trying to settle in (and really need something to keep the kids out of your hair). Once they've opened the drawers 10 million times, and once you have more time to keep track of them, it should get easier.

 

Good luck Fran I bet the novelty will wear off as PP suggested.

Something happened in our home since we moved, I can't even get my boys to watch TV or videos these days. I'm lucky if one watches it 10 minutes, but it's very rare that both of them watch it. In fact, I was shocked the other day to see both of them standing in front of the TV watching Curious George.

 

It sounds like your kids are bored. With a new environment they don't know what to do. Spend a couple of days teaching them to play in the new place, what to play with, how to do it, where toput it and it should improve.

 

we're a heavy TV watching family also (I've also been pretty sick this summer so its hard to find things to do when mommy feels like a pile of $hit most of the time) but I only let them watch Nick Jr. - Dora, Diego, Backyardigans etc...they are not allowed iCarly, Hannah Montana etc...in fact they know that they are not allowed to watch even Spongebob and they yell for me to change the channel...

They do go to Pre-School 3 days a week still and there is NO television or computer in the preschool so I justify that if they watch a little more on Tuesdays and Thursdays when I'm home it balances out...

sometimes they will even ditch Nickelodeon for Food Network with me LOL

 

Don't be so hard on yourself, Fran! Moving is an incredibly stressful time under the best circumstances, let alone with 2-year-old twins. If TV makes life a little easier during this transition period, just go with it. Once things settle down it will be easier to cut back the TV time and handle with your twins', let's say, 'enthusiastic curiousity.'

I went through a similar situation following my c-section after my third child. I relied on TV to keep my twins out of my hair. I felt really guilty about it, but desperate times call for desperate measures! When life settled down after a couple of weeks, I started weaning the twins off of TV. (But not entirely--they still watch about 30 minutes a day.) This is what I did:

1. I decided on a goal to work toward. I wanted to reduce TV time down to 30 minutes per day. When I started, they were watching about 3.5 hours per day. Yikes!
2. Starting on Day 1, I reduced their overall TV time by 15 minutes. I continued to cut back 15 minutes per day over the next several days, until they were watching just a half-hour per day.
3. To make turning off the TV easier, I gave them several cues to warn them in advance. At the start of the final show, I would say, "Once this show is over, we're turning off the TV." I would also give them cues with 5 minutes to go, and then 1 minute to go.
4. I found that the vaccuum cleaner was a really good buffer between turning off TV and finding another activity to do. I would actually start vaccuming with the TV on, and then turn the TV off with the vaccuum running. It made the silence of turning off the TV less noticeable. Plus, my twins LOVE to help vaccuum, so it also gave them something 'fun' to do.
5. It wasn't easy! My twins still complain some days when I turn the TV off. But like the other moms said, set the expectation and stick to it.

Good luck!

 

I agree w/pp's about this being a different circumstance because you are in the middle of unpacking. Once you settle in you can establish a routine. For us the girls usually watch one program (20 minutes) after breakfast, and another program while I cook dinner.

 

We are a heavy T.v. watchers here, I think it is because it is hard for us to get out of the house, my kids are up early at 5 am sometimes, my dh is away often and I need more zone-out time, and I don't have family visiting to break up the day. With 3 I would get nothing done. We don't have the commercials here like in N. America and I have like a Tivo type unit to program shows. They are only Dora, Micky Mouse clubhouse, Handy manny, Timmy the lamb, Super readers, Curious George the odd time, Sesame street, Gabba Gabba, Hi-5, wiggles. All age appropriate.

Mine go to daycare 2 days a week as well.

We do go outside, crafts, etc. but sometimes the days are long and T.V. fills the gaps.

I think at various times in our lives we parent differently based on the needs at that time. We can change as those needs change. This is just your need at this time. I've read that there is NO conclusive evidence to show that T.V. is bad. I'm sure my dh has watched a TON of T.V. or so his family seems to... and he is very intelligent.

Heather

 

TV can be a huge help now, but its good that you're concerned and asking the question. I grew up a huge TV watcher and my DH did not. It depends on the person, but for me (a person of average intelligence) TV was a big demotivator for me and I procrastinated so many things growing up because I was sitting there watching TV.
With the girls I started doing the videos once or twice a day until the kids started demanding “show, show, show!” and started having a meltdown every time I turned it off. That was it for me. It’s not worth their drama. My therapist friend also said between the ages of 2-3 when the imagination really starts to take off that TV takes away from that growth. The TV is doing all the work and they are not thinking for themselves(do some research online there are studies). But whatever. Again not sure that’s that case for everyone, but again my comprehension is poor and in MY opinion and the effect of Video games (My mother worked for Atari so I had them young in my house) and TV (every channel know to man!) led to what I think are issues with comprehension, procrastination and motivation. Luckily I'm in Marketing so not much of those things are required! (kidding)

 

:good: This! My two only get an hour in the morning and an hour in the late afternoon while I'm cooking dinner.