The Toddler's Creed

LOL This is so true and reminds me of my girls. They are a lot of work right now!

The Toddler's Creed
If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it is food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a carseat, it must be protested with an arched back.
If it is Mommy (or Daddy), it must be hugged.
I am toddler!

 

(looking at my kids suspiciously) I had no idea my kids could write :laughing: So true Aimee!

 

:laughing: That was great... and so true!

 

:laughing:

 

That so describes my life right now - the last month, we have gone from fairly pliable to full-force toddlerdom.

My personal LOL favorite was: If it does not open, it must be screamed at. :rofl:

 

:laughing: That is so funny Aimee! And so true! :faint:

 

Love it Aimee! So maddeningly true!

 

oh man...i'm in trouble aren't i?

 

LOL, so true!

 

HILARIOUS!! I was literally LOL as I read this

 

That was great, thanks Aimee! :clapping: I too LOL at the if it doesn't open it must be screamed at!! Although the flat surface one in our house is definitely to stand on, they're way past banging :laughing: And the drawers are to be climbed!

 

So true, so true! Love it. (And, it's a great reminder that our kids are "normal" :laughing: ).

 

:lol: SO true!!