The tantrums when leaving a place

Now that the weather is getting nice, I like to get out and go places with the boys everyday but it's getting to the point where it's NOT enjoyable becasue I know when we get ready to leave, my one guy will throw the worst tantrum! I always tell him that when we leave the park or storytime or wherever, he needs to be a good boy and get into the car for mommy. Of course this doesn't work and I end up wrestling the kid out of wherever he are with him screaming and kicking me and causing a scene with everyone staring at me. It's SO embaressing, and I hate it! Then the struggle to get him into the car seat or stroller is a nightmare. The other day it literally took me 20 min to get him strapped into the carseat with him hitting and kicking me and he arches his back and is so strong I can't pin him down. I am sure people thought I was beating him or something.
I am at a loss as to what to do?! This behavior is totally stressing and depressing me and I feel bad for my other child that totally listens to me and leaves without a peep!
HELP... :wacko: :gah:

 

Do you give him a warning when it's nearly time to leave? That always worked well for my lot. I'd do a 5 minute countdown, telling them each minute how much longer they had left. After I got down to one minute I would tell them they could have one last whatever (story, go on the slide etc) and then we were leaving. Even though they don't really understand time at that age they could understand that I was counting down, and now that they're older I just tell them when they have 5 minutes left and then when it's time for their last go.

The other thing I do is have a snack and drink for when we leave, so that there is an upside/distraction to getting strapped into the stroller or car seat.

Good luck, hopefully the more you go out the more he will become used to having to leave places.

 

Definitely keep a high value snack and drink for the walk to the car!

You have to make where you're going much more interesting and better than where you're leaving. Snacks (our high value snacks are fruit snacks and juice boxes) and stickers are good incentives for my crew.

 

I do like some of the others have suggested as well, I give warnings several times, and then I keep a stash of good snacks in the car, and if they sit nicely while I buckle them in they each get a cracker (funny enough those plain rice crackers work as our treat!!). But, I know what you mean, a few times I tried struggling with DD to get her into her carseat, and it is so difficult to get them buckled in if they dont want to be!!!
But, I also like the idea of stickers, or something else that is exciting to the kids (maybe a favorite toy that he only gets when he gets back to the car and buckled in?).

Good luck, I just keep thinking that is a phase and it will pass (at least this is what I tell myself!)

 

Yes, it's rough! We do warnings and distractions/rewards...a yummy snack or special toy I hid in my purse. I try to let them know, "It's time to leave the park soon and we're going to get in the stroller and have a granola bar!" or whatever, and say it several times, then show them the goods if needed when it's time to get going. I like the idea of stickers, mine are really into stickers right now!! Sometimes I just want them to get in because I want them to get in--and get into this mental power struggle which gets me nowhere, then as soon as I think of a snack or toy they turn it right around. I wish it weren't that way, but it definitely helps distract them and transition them and their little toddler brains need all the help they can get

 

I'm all about bribes for little ones! :ibiggrin: I did the things that pps have already suggested. Now that they are older (almost 5) I give a five minute warning, a two minute , the option for one last thing and then we're outta there. Sometimes they'll get upset but I just talk them through it now. I can say I understand you don't want to leave but it's time to go, we need to go (fill in the blank), etc. There may still be tears sometimes but rarely do they flip out on me anymore. There have been times I've had to force them into the car seat. The one thing I've found that helps is to push their hip bones back into the seat. I can hold the pressure on their hips with the sides of my hands while I get the buckle together. (it sounds horrible, but really it's not that much pressure, just enough resistance that they can't break out before they are buckled)

 

Your ticker didn't really show what age your children are. Mine are 2.5 months and wow that 6 months has made a difference in the tantrums. They are bigger, stronger and more determined than a 2 yr old temper tantrum was. I posted recently about a similar fight to get her into the carseat and she stiffens up and straightens out -- was foaming at the mouth, hitting me. Wow really tiring and because I have the 3 I find lately I do so much to preserve my back because at the end of the day it is killing me. So fighting physically with them is exhausting. Then I worry about the safety of the other two as well. My kids are not persuaded by food most times but the stickers might work. I think I need to be more prepared. Lately, even with my dh - who is VERY helpful - it isn't fun to go out with them anymore. I might just stay at home until they turn 3. Just a few months away in Nov......

Oh I took a video of one of them and then immediately played it back to her, it was interesting to see the wheels turning in her brain as she watched it. Get it on video if you can to show them years from now. It will make you feel a little better.

heather