The poop story to end all poop stories

I have had my fair share of poop disasters. Like the time I got all the kids loaded up to go to the park only to find upon arrival my dd had pooped a river in her car seat and was literally sitting in a swamp of poo. Or the time my ds's blowout actually reached up to his collar bone. But today's poop episode is one for the books: After the babies ate dinner, I was starting the bath and getting Eloise undressed to put in the tub. I had carried Lincoln out of his high chair without any idea of what happened in his pants. I took off his shirt, and then while holding him over my forearm I used my free hand to yank his jeans off by the leg. As the pants were yanked off it became disgustingly clear that he had a MASSIVE BLOWOUT and by pulling his pants off I had just flung poo EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!! :shok: I started gagging and it was all I could do to not barf. Don't you have the gag reflex just reading that? I'm gagging again just thinking about it. It was the grossest clean-up of my life.

I know you're all saying, "geez Reyna, thanks for sharing." You're welcome!!!

Reyna

 

I was nursing the boys on my EZ 2 Nurse Pillow, and I heard a great farting noise. I giggled at Roe for his dookie, then as we finished up, I set Joel down in the swing. I picked Roman up to change him and put him on the changing table. I realized he had poop on his clothes, but I didn't realize it was on my clothes. Or the pillow. The pillow that I had thrown down on the floor with its white carpet. The clothes that I kept brushing with my hand. The hand that I ran through my hair.

Dookie. On Roe, in his clothes, on the changing table, on the pillow, on the floor, on my pants, and my shirt, and in my hair. Then I heard Joel puking all over the swing. When my husband got home a few minutes later, I handed him two naked, dirty babies and I ran for the shower.

 

LOL!!!!! I think my worst one was when ds was about 6 months old and he pooped such a poop that it went EVERYWHERE inside his onsies. All down his legs to his feet, all the way up to his armpits.....it was "put him in the sink and CAREFULLY remove the onsie" bad, lol!!! When you would need to use the ENTIRE container of wipes its a bad one :bad:

Ughhh, and the gagging, I HATE those poops!!!

 

No disasters like yours yet, but i did have poo up the back and in the pants leg yesterday. and the smell was .....incredible, and he was chillin all happy in his walker like nothing but he was giving funny faces. Doesn't gross me out yet, still love my babies and their poo, but i know a gross out is on it's way!

 

Hehe....oh, my...that is horrible and so funny at the same time!

I have a story that I think is hilarious! Especially becasue it happend to my DH who before having twins had NEVER, EVER, EVER changed any diaper in his life. I think it was the 2nd day that we had Ryan home from the hospital, DH was sitting in bed, in his PJ's, after having fed a bottle to Ryan and was burping him with Ryan sitting on his leg ,wearing only a onesie when all of a sudden Ryan let out this massive...well..fart. And what do you know...DH looks down and there is globs of yellow poop ALL over his leg as well as all over Ryan...hehehhe...I had to laugh at that one!

 

OMG! when my oldest DD was only like 4 weeks old, i was carefully cleaning her butt after a really gross runny one. (i wasnt used to this yet, she was my first!!) i guess i was concentrating too hard, because i was leaning in WAY too close, because all of the sudden she pooped again and it hit me in the forehead!!! o gross, my stomach hurts just thinking about it!!! EEEWWWW!!! :blink:

 

Some of their greatest poo-splosions have been while we are out... target, bru, the mall! Something about those carseats! I actually have a running joke now about if Sofia hasnt pooped in a few days all I have to do is bring her target and she'll explode!
And the first time that Maia had an explosion was at bru and it took like 30mins to clean her up and change her because me and my sister were laughing hysterically and taking pictures with my phone! :rofl:
Another time I was changing Sofia's diaper and it SHOT OUT and went all over the changing table, the closet door and floor in front of the closet (atLEAST 5ft away!)

I could keep going! Poo makes me laugh!

Edited to fix typos

 

I was in the middle of changing dd's diaper when she was about 9 months old (she had diarrhea) when all of a sudden she farted and I looked down and poop was shooting from her behind with incredible force, heading straight for my face. I put my hand up to protect my face and deflected the projectile poop all over the living room- it was slow motion, like that movie Matrix slow motion- poop landed on the recliner across the room, it was all over my arm and there was a stream of it on the living room floor. I should have just let it hit my face- that would have been much easier to clean up!!

 

QUOTE(Jenn G @ Apr 1 2008, 08:55 PM) [snapback]700118[/snapback]
I was in the middle of changing dd's diaper when she was about 9 months old (she had diarrhea) when all of a sudden she farted and I looked down and poop was shooting from her behind with incredible force, heading straight for my face. I put my hand up to protect my face and deflected the projectile poop all over the living room- it was slow motion, like that movie Matrix slow motion- poop landed on the recliner across the room, it was all over my arm and there was a stream of it on the living room floor. I should have just let it hit my face- that would have been much easier to clean up!!

:rotflmbo: :rotflmbo:

 

I have at least two of these stories, but none of them are for our twins just yet. Both were of my Oldest son and he will be 10 this year! This will be a great story for his wife to be! hehehe!

My son had a really bad habit of taking off his diaper and one morning I awoke to this horid smell and I could place where it was coming from until I was walking down the hall and just happened to look into my sons room to see a chocolate covered baby! OMG! I had to laugh but the smell and my son were completely covered in the most horrible poo disaster ever! He didn't have a diaper on and he had painted the bed, his sheets, a toy, his bottle, the wall and I found clumps of poo on the floor. I grabbed enough baby wipes to pick him up with and got him to the bathtub. He aparently had been playing in it for some time because I found that I had to scrape the poo off of him. I had to take his bed apart to bleach it and we had no W&D so I just through out all of his bed clothes, the toy, and the bottle. I had to scub the carpet which buy the way was WHITE! lol

The next one wasn't poo! But it was the most hilarious incident that I have ever had to see when it came to any of my kids!
Again my oldest son. I had let him play for a little while in his room with a baby gate up at the door. He had plenty of toys to play with, and I thought nothing to get into, It was his room. Well, I was wrong! I did that dishes and My ex and I all of a sudden hear this fussy cry, and then a thud, and then a loud yell from our sons room. I looked in and I didn't see him. Out of the corner of my eye I see two little hands holding onto the changing table bars from the inside. The middle of the changing table was missing a shelf and our son would frequently play in there because we took everything out. Well! I looked around his room and I find a yellow lid, and then I looked a little closer at my son when I realized what he had gotten into. I scaled the gate and walked over to the changing table and bent down. I just fell over and started laughing so hard. My ex-husband came in to see what I was laughing at and I couldn't even speak I was laughing so hard. My ex then came in and realized what was going on!

And these two incidents were a week apart!

I had accidentally forgot to take out everything that I used to change him with! Our son had gotten into the changing table as usual and found the Vaseline jar which I forgot also to put the lid back on. He had smeared it all over himself and the changing table. and everytime that he tried to get up he would slip and slide all over the bottom shelf and he couldn't get out! It was so funny that we laughed at him for three weeks everytime we had to change him. It took us 4 baths just to get the vaseline out of his hair and I had to bleach the changing table to get it off of there. The carpet (Still white--turning grey) was thick and we never could get it out. It was really just something that you had to be there for.

Lots of laughs!
Meshell

 

Oh these are toooooo funny! I forgot to mention how the day before my SIL was here visiting (she's single and has changed zero diapers in her lifetime) and while I was downstairs I asked her to put the babies in the tub. Apparently one had pooped (a very normal, contained poop) and when she went to take the diaper off she saw the poop and literally THREW UP. Just by looking at poop! I heard the retching and came to see what had happened, and when she told me I could not stop laughing! Had she been around for today's poop-festivities she would have hurled for sure!

Keep em' coming. This is the best laugh I've had all day....

Reyna

 

The worst one was when the twinks had the flu... Alyssa had puked all over herself so I was cleaning her up at 3am, but I could not place the smell I was smelling. I woke Ashley up only to find her whole front from her butt to her chin was covered in diarhea... that was the worst one to date.

But you ladies have some hilarious Poo stories!!

 

Ah, so many but I'll try to contain myself :lol:

Story 1: I'd gotten the boys undressed for their bath and as I was tossing the clothes in the hamper, they both took off down the hall naked together. I caught up to them in our bedroom and picked each up under an arm to give them an airplane ride back to the tub. Trevor started fussing immediately and kicked his feet out in front of me. I was thrown a bit and adjusted Trent's position to compensate and then he let it fly. Projectile poop on the wall, the carpet, me, and he shot Trent right in the face (also on his head and down his arm). I've never seen anything like it. Trent started screaming like he'd been seriously injured and there wasn't anything I could do but continue to the tub (with the poop still coming in spurts) to wash them up and then start cleaning. Thank goodness we have a carpet machine!

Story 2: they had just learned to take their clothes off. I'd put on Baby Einstein and run to the kitchen to assemble lunch. I came back not 10 minutes later to find them naked and poop from one end of the room to the other. They'd apparently pooped while walking and then danced in it, painted the walls, and painted themselves (they so loved to smear stuff in their hair at that age)

:bad:

 

THANK YOU ALL SOOOOO MUCH for these hilarious & gross poop stories...I needed to laugh so bad today!!
DH keeps trying to go upstairs & I am like 'just let me read you one more......!!!!' I dont think he thinks its as funny as I do!

 

i don't remember the specifics (please forgive the first 3 months are a sleepy blur), but when ally was little she would go 5-8 days without pooping. since we were breastfeeding, it was considered "normal", but it made for a blowout EVERY time. i remember one time when it was all the way up her back, to her shoulders, and i just took scissors to the onesie rather than try to take it off over her head (and filling her hair with poo).

to pp who mentioned the car seats--the seating position basically pushes the poop up out the back, so at least in our case, if they ever pooped in the carseat, it was a blowout for sure.....did i mention i HATE huggies supreme now? LOL

i hope the horrible diaper blowout days (which were all too frequent a few months ago) are behind us!!

 

Last night during dinner Scarlet started getting fussy so I put my plate down on the couch and started to change her. She was really mad and when I lifted her little butt off the diaper she projectile pooped all over me. My face, hands, legs, hair, you name it she got it. Also she pooped over my head and onto my plate. You want to talk about gagging.

 

Oh my gosh i have a LOT of poop stories and the I was thinking this morning oh why do they always poop when the diaper is OFF. But a bad one happened this weekend. We were at my SIL wedding. The girls were all dressed up and lookin gso pretty. Athena has had a bit of a loose tummy this whole week because of teething. Dad was holding her and we were about to take photos when she had a bad blow out. She was covered and so was her dad, it was litterly dripping from the hem of her dress. Ugh!!! Shame, it was caught on camera but it was the only photos they were in.

 

:rotflmbo: :rotflmbo:

I am dying here reading your stories!!

 

My poop story is nearly thirty years old. When our first daughter was born my husband and I kept her in the bed with us. Well during the night she had diarhea. I sleep in a little ball on my side of the bed and never move. Our daughter however, is one that moved from one end of the bed to the other. Her father is a sound sleeper. Well her diarhea was so bad it was running out her diaper, down her legs - it was literally everywhere. Well I was on my little corner but she rolled over towards her daddy. She rolled up from his head, down to his feet. All the while smearing a thick coating of stinky poop in daddy's hair, down his chest - it was on the covers. It coated daddy's legs. He and she were covered in poop from their hair to their toes - ooey, gooey, stinky poo. He never woke up during the whole time and when the alarm clock rang and I rolled over and caught a look at the both of them I was stunned. They were both sleeping soundly covered in poo. I didn't even want to touch my husband to wake him he was so covered. I was getting our daughter and getting her stripped and when I finally called loud enough to wake my husband he was stunned. He ran to the bathroom to barf yet he had slept with it all over him. To this day we still laugh about it. Needless to say after that episode our daughter was relegated to her crib for sleeping. It was pretty funny to me since I didn't have a bit of poo on me.

 

These are soooo funny :rotflmbo:

I don't have any specific "poop stories" but my boys pretty much poop up their backs every other day. My mother said they have the longest butt cracks she has ever seen! It's like a funnel up their back. How lucky I am.

 

this thread is worthless without pictures!

(yes, I photograph everything)

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2287/234427..._281022784f.jpg

edited to add: and guess what he's got clenched in that little fist? Oh yes--more dookie!

 

So, Thats wherre you have been. You've been cleaning poo this whole time!

ETA: These stories are too STINKING funny! Thanks for the laughs, so needed it.

 

OMG! I thought I had a couple of poop stories - but mine are NOTHING compared to these. I am laughing out loud sitting here at my desk. WOW!

 

These are hilarious!
The one I have so far, when Sophia and Luke were 5 days old, I was changing Sophia and she began to projectile poop everywhere. It was all over the changing the table, our couch, me, and narrowly missed my sister in law who was cleaning the house for us at the time. I did not know at the time that little girls could shoot poo!

 

OMG!! Thank you all for the much needed laughs! I am in tears and can hardly breathe reading these they are sooooo funny!!

 

While changing one of my girls, when they were about 2 months old, I had her on the changing table, legs up in the air about to put on a fresh diaper, when I heard the fart.. before I knew it she had **** one of those famous explosive shits, and it went right in my eye! That's right.. I've been peed on before and had accidentally stuck a finger or two in a dirty diaper (you know, just checking for poop) but never had it in my eye! It was lovely!

 

I'm still laughing at these!

It doesn't measure up to y'all's stories, but I just remembered a poop story!

Our kids were constipated a couple months ago, so our pediatrician suggested glycerin suppositories.

My DH warned me to point the butt down with the suppository--and if only I had listened in time. My DS squirted everywhere with his own personal poop fountain! And the worst thing was that we were laughing so hard we were completely paralyzed, and it kept spreading further and further.

So, always remember: point the butt down!!

 

These stories are hilarious. I'm at work, and I'm trying to contain my laughter. I have one to add to the mix...

My daughter had projectile poop when she first arrived. When they were one week old my MIL was over to see them. It was time to change them both so she offered to help. She took DD and I took DS. I warned her about the projectile poop and pee, which she responded w/ "no problem". We have a double changing table so she had DD on the left and I had DS on the right. Well, just as she was changing DD, she started to go and shot poop across to DS. My MIL attempted to catch it w/ the diaper, but it still got on DS. At this point I was already laughing at the expression on MIL's face :icon_eek: . While I was laughing DS decided he needed to go and shot pee back at DD. Needless to say it was one that went in the baby book. :rotflmbo:

 

Y'all jinxed me with this thread. Both girls had explosive poo diapers this morning within 20 minutes of one another. I picked Annelise up out of her papasan chair and she was wet. When I looked at her backside, I knew it wasn't just pee. Yuck. For some strange reason, there was a burp cloth under her bottom in the chair. It saved the chair. I went to the changing table and discovered poo all over the inside of her sleeper (between the sleeper and onesie) and up to her armpits inside the onesie. Then I discovered there was only one wipe left. We have tons more, but they were all upstairs. It didn't matter anyway. There aren't enough wipes in the free world to clean up that mess. So Annelise got a bath at 9:00 this morning. I guess I should have expected this since she hasn't had a poopy diaper in about 6 days. I never believed people who said that breastfed babies don't poop very often. Well, sometimes they don't, but when they do, BEWARE! About 20 minutes later, I had the same issue with Karina. The problem with hers is that her poo is SUPER sticky and thick because of the thickener used in her milk because of her reflux. So it was into the bathtub with her too. DH doesn't particularly like giving them baths and it happens to be bath day today. I guess he lucked out that he won't have to help tonight.

 

Poo stories are the best!!

I have had to cut onesies off with scissors before...it was one of the first full days I was alone with the boys since they had been born and I had picked James up to feed him and he was COVERED in poo from the backs of his knees to the back of his neck. I just held him over the sink, cut the onesie off of him and just held him under the faucet to get the crap off.

DH called the boys soft-serve machines for awhile, due to the fact that every time HE had to change a diaper, they decided to keep pooing and pooing and pooing.

 

OMG! And to think I almost never read this thread! At first I was thinking, "Who the heck would want to relive a poop story much less read someone elses?" but now I keep checking to see if there are more! :laughing:


Although they are all hysterical, so far this one wins...

QUOTE(aandax246 @ Apr 2 2008, 06:31 AM) [snapback]700619[/snapback]
My poop story is nearly thirty years old. When our first daughter was born my husband and I kept her in the bed with us. Well during the night she had diarhea. I sleep in a little ball on my side of the bed and never move. Our daughter however, is one that moved from one end of the bed to the other. Her father is a sound sleeper. Well her diarhea was so bad it was running out her diaper, down her legs - it was literally everywhere. Well I was on my little corner but she rolled over towards her daddy. She rolled up from his head, down to his feet. All the while smearing a thick coating of stinky poop in daddy's hair, down his chest - it was on the covers. It coated daddy's legs. He and she were covered in poop from their hair to their toes - ooey, gooey, stinky poo. He never woke up during the whole time and when the alarm clock rang and I rolled over and caught a look at the both of them I was stunned. They were both sleeping soundly covered in poo. I didn't even want to touch my husband to wake him he was so covered. I was getting our daughter and getting her stripped and when I finally called loud enough to wake my husband he was stunned. He ran to the bathroom to barf yet he had slept with it all over him. To this day we still laugh about it. Needless to say after that episode our daughter was relegated to her crib for sleeping. It was pretty funny to me since I didn't have a bit of poo on me.




Thanks for the laughs!

 

:rotflmbo: !!!!

I was letting them "air out" (yes, it was my fault! I havn't done that since!) DS#1 was supposed to be unloading the dishwasher, but instead had opened it and left the kitchen. I swear she had just been MIA for 5 seconds - well in that 5 seconds she went to the dishwasher climbed on the door -pooped and smeared it all over!! YUK!!!!!

and my ds#1 when he was 5 - pooped in Walmart because I had told him no to the spider man undies well he thought - if I poop on myself, she will have no choice but to buy them for me!!!! I was SO mad!!! I wanted to go to the girl section and buy a pair of girl undies which he would have HATED!! but instead we made him go commando! all the way home!

 

QUOTE(fourznuff @ Apr 3 2008, 02:13 PM) [snapback]703280[/snapback]
OMG! And to think I almost never read this thread! At first I was thinking, "Who the heck would want to relive a poop story much less read someone elses?" but now I keep checking to see if there are more! :laughing:
Although they are all hysterical, so far this one wins...
Thanks for the laughs!


I thought the same thing. :lol: I also agree with the "winner" so far.

 

QUOTE(ladybenz @ Apr 1 2008, 08:40 PM) [snapback]700069[/snapback]
I was nursing the boys on my EZ 2 Nurse Pillow, and I heard a great farting noise. I giggled at Roe for his dookie, then as we finished up, I set Joel down in the swing. I picked Roman up to change him and put him on the changing table. I realized he had poop on his clothes, but I didn't realize it was on my clothes. Or the pillow. The pillow that I had thrown down on the floor with its white carpet. The clothes that I kept brushing with my hand. The hand that I ran through my hair.

Dookie. On Roe, in his clothes, on the changing table, on the pillow, on the floor, on my pants, and my shirt, and in my hair. Then I heard Joel puking all over the swing. When my husband got home a few minutes later, I handed him two naked, dirty babies and I ran for the shower.


Okay, as I sit here on my laptop in bed, (in my QUIET house, all 4 are sleeping!!!!).....I am falling out of bed laughing at your post, Ladybenz!!!! I had to call my husband upstairs so I could read it to him!!!!!!!!!! TOO funny....your writing made us feel like we were right there with you!

Ahhh, poop....everyone says "oh it wont bother you when it is your own baby".....UMMMM, YES it does, for me and my excessive gag reflex, it is a BIG problem!

~jillian

 

QUOTE(debid @ Apr 1 2008, 10:33 PM) [snapback]700322[/snapback]
Ah, so many but I'll try to contain myself :lol:

Story 1: I'd gotten the boys undressed for their bath and as I was tossing the clothes in the hamper, they both took off down the hall naked together. I caught up to them in our bedroom and picked each up under an arm to give them an airplane ride back to the tub. Trevor started fussing immediately and kicked his feet out in front of me. I was thrown a bit and adjusted Trent's position to compensate and then he let it fly. Projectile poop on the wall, the carpet, me, and he shot Trent right in the face (also on his head and down his arm). I've never seen anything like it. Trent started screaming like he'd been seriously injured and there wasn't anything I could do but continue to the tub (with the poop still coming in spurts) to wash them up and then start cleaning. Thank goodness we have a carpet machine!

Story 2: they had just learned to take their clothes off. I'd put on Baby Einstein and run to the kitchen to assemble lunch. I came back not 10 minutes later to find them naked and poop from one end of the room to the other. They'd apparently pooped while walking and then danced in it, painted the walls, and painted themselves (they so loved to smear stuff in their hair at that age)

:bad:


OMG...I laughed so hard I cried!