The Playground - ack, it feels as bad as High School!

My girls are just 1 and although I've been going out and about with them since they were pretty little, this whole playground thing is a new experience for me. We are currently living in Portland, Oregon, with my sister's family (long story; DH travels internationally for work a lot and he was going to be gone four solid months out of six months, so instead of staying alone with them and no family/no help in washington dc, we've come here. My parents live here as well - any other portland moms out there/?!!!!)

The weather has been pretty typically portland for a while - rainy grey - ok, so we also had hail and snow for about five days! But - i take them to the playground as much as possible because i like to get them (and me!) out and in the fresh air.

Am I the only one who feels like i'm back in high school - maybe i'm being paranoid (or pathologically shy??) but - it feels like that whole world is rife with cliques, and hardly anyone talks to me! Perhaps I exaggerate, and perhaps it's just a function on not having my own network/group of friends, but- ugh, honestly being out sometimes makes me feel MORE isolated than being home alone with them!

I exaggerate a bit; some people are nice and I am starting to develop some 'acquaintance-ships (I just made that word up!), but.....Often people comment, esp. when i have them both in the same swing. Maybe it's that I was so used to meeting people in a professional context, or having my own old friends that i've forgotten how to make new ones??

I have joined the local multiples group; the last daytime event happened smack-dab n the middle of mornng naptime (aaaarrrgghh!!) so we didn't go to that, but there is one coming up in a few weeks which we'll try to get to.

 

I've been taking the girls to our local park too. I figure before they realize they can walk on the sand I better get in lots of playground time while I can still do it alone! And yes there are some cliques...

Actually I'm now pretty comfortable with small talk (after a solid year of lots of chitchat at every store I take the girls), but I don't go to the park to try to make friends. I think anyone who is there with small children is too focused on their kids and keeping them safe and happy that you can really have a conversation with other adults. Maybe its just me.

A couple weeks ago I chatted with a mom of 18 month old b/g twins while we were all on the swings. The only reason she could stop and talk was because her DH was there helping with her kids.

I've had better luck connecting with some women from my local MOTC. Its hard to make friends and find people who you connect with past "ooh our kids are the same age." GL with finding some new friends! -Leighann

 

I think it depends. I have certainly had some of those experiences. I personally keep a pretty close watch on my kids when we are at the park and I find that sometimes the chatty Moms aren't paying any attention to their little ones.

 

Yes!! It is worse than high school. I do a lot of activities with the kids (its cold out so we do indoor things only!) Moms are just not so friendly and inclusive. I do have friends (just none with kids my youngest two's age) so I figure I just have to suck it up for a bit.

 

I wouldn't read much into it. I have been going to the park for YEARS and if I want to talk to other adults, I have to strike up the conversation. Usually, a "how old is your daughter?" or "She's cute" does wonders for breaking the ice. The other thing to remember is that as other posters have said, not everyone goes to the park to talk. Some are just filling in the time before they have to be somewhere else, others are out for a walk and stopping for a quick break. And at least at my local park, there are also groups of 2 or 3 moms that come together, so they already know each other. I don't bother visiting with groups that are there together.

 

I'm willing to bet $100 that some of the other Moms there feel the same as you.
As an adult I think we need to be more proactive, go after what you want.
I doubt it's a clique so much as it is when people are talking they don't notice what's going on around them. I doubt they're intentionally not including you. KWIM?
If I was at a park and someone sat next to me I would chat. but I'm not likely to strike up a conversation w/ someone I don't know if they aren't RIGHT THERE.

If you made the 1st move I'm positive you'd be surprised at how quickly you were able to join little groups of Moms. They're just like you and me

 

QUOTE(FirstTimeMom814 @ Apr 4 2008, 01:33 PM) [snapback]704379[/snapback]
I think it depends. I have certainly had some of those experiences. I personally keep a pretty close watch on my kids when we are at the park and I find that sometimes the chatty Moms aren't paying any attention to their little ones.



Ditto. Mine are at the age where they run opposite ways at times so there is no time for me to chat and them to stay safe.

 

I have had good experiences and less than favorable ones, but often the not so good ones are because I feel like they think I am being short with them when really I am trying to make sure my two don't kill themselves!!!
I am a chatty person by nature and try and always start a conversation, whether it much of anything I just try and be nice, not much else you can do!!!