The needy twin vs. the "neglected one"

One of my girls, twin A is so much needier than her sister, she screams when she wants something, she likes to nurse all day, and in general just requires much more attention.

If I am nursing twin B, and A wakes up, she will scream so hard, i need to put B down and deal with A. Baby B is ok with that and will take her paci and lie there contently.

Baby A has been sleeping in my bed at nite, becuase that's the only way she'll sleep.

I feel bad that baby A gets so much more attention, What can I do? Is that just the way its going to be? and each of their needs are being met?

 

I had a needy twin A in the beginning, but she has now outgrown it and twin B is now my needier one. I was very happy that my son let me care for my daughter when she needed me, since some people find they have two equally needy twins. I am certain you will find it will get better over time as they get older.

 

I experienced the same thing as Lydia. DD was VERY needy when she was little. I felt awful that DS didn't get as much attention but he was so good and happy to swing or just wait his turn. He was very laid back. Now it's the opposite for the most part. DD is a happy go lucky little thing and happy to do her own thing. Of course when she gets ticked off she's still very loud but she's happy and easily distracted. DS on the other hand is SUPER needy and only wants me for the most part. I also slept with DD when she was little and she still likes to sneak in occasionally but now she just wants to play so she gets ousted back to her crib quickly. I think they just change personalities a lot. DS is still a laid back kiddo but much more needy and whiny. He also isn't too mobile yet and DD is crawling all over the place so he's frustrated too. Just do the best you can and if Baby B is content then her needs are most likely being met. Baby A just has more needs right now.

 

Luke was always needier than Lila and still is. Lila is very independent & Luke still likes me to do everything for him. I worried too because he always demanded so much attention from me, but Lila doesn't seem to have suffered any, she is a very self confident, loving little girl & now she helps take care of Luke too!

 

Mine alternate as to who needs "more" on any particular day. I think it's a phase. Hang tough!

 

Yup. Lia is and always has been VERY needy. We call her pissy poodle. Colin on the other hand.... I've NEVER seen a baby so easy. He just goes with the flow. I find what I do a lot is hold Lia while Im setting on the floor so I can play with Colin who is laying on the floor. I just try and remember even though he is not screaming for me, I just need to find free time to go pay attention to him. If someone else is here Ill even ask them to take over for Lia so I can hold Colin or ask that they hold Colin. This will pass.... someday lol. Hang in there.

 

During the 1st 6 months, Sophia was our needier twin and Luke (thankfully) was very patient while we attended to her. I felt badly for him because it did seem like she got a lot of attention and he barely got any at all. However, he was a pretty happy baby and is a happy toddler, so I think even during those early days his needs were being met (of course if he turns up on Oprah someday complaining about me, then I'll know different!). Now that my twins are 18 months old, they switch up "needy" periods...so it all evened out in the end for us.

 

Same as Previous posters-- baby A was needier as an infant and i thought this was just how it will be.. then somewhere down the line and they switched-- baby b is now more clingy/needier, while baby A calms down easier and is more chilled. But I am not going to label them because I bet they will switch again at some point!! I'm just happy that for the most part they have not been both needy at the some time.. in general.. and so far

 

We went through the needy one vs. neglected one here too. :hug: It's hard at the time but it really does even out eventually. My dd was the needy one until she was around a year old or so and my son was just so happy and content, only whimpered a bit when he was hungry (and cried due to reflux but that was not his personality) Now it's the opposite. My dd is very independant and my son is the needy one. It will keep going back and forth between the two so don't feel too bad. :hug: Just try and sneak in a hug and kiss when you can.

 

My boys seemed to switch every couple of months. One was still more independent but needy in different ways.

 

yup, you will always have this "issue" lol, someone is always more needy!!! But it seems with twins they are very understanding and just get more so as they get older, wanting to see the other "needy" one get comforted. I have always just been glad they aren't BOTH super needy at the same time.

 

We had the same thing. My DS was very needy. I think he had colic, but I'm not sure. He was a handful as a newborn. Cried and screamed so much! My DD was quiet and content. She would mostly cry when she was hungry. Now they are 10 months old. My DS has completely mellowed out, and my DD is really needy. She is very clingy and screeches a lot. I think it balances out in the long run. It may change again when they go through another phase. It's okay, they will be fine!

 

As a newborn my DS was the needier baby. Now they are about the same. I think it probably all evens out in the end.

 

lol at "pissy poodle"... i have two pissy poodles and i keep waiting for them to grow out of it. unfortunately neither of my babies is very "put down-able".. they have short attention spans for self-amusement.. le sigh!

recently my son has been MORE needy. now my daughter is teething so its like she's yelling "omg its MY TURN!!!!!!!" all day long.

 

I don't have any advice because I am going through the same thing!

Good luck to us!!!

 

DD has been more "needy", she has reflux and now we suspect part of her crying is actually colic. DS has always been the one to be fed second, to be laid down more often. It sucks. But he's a very happy baby, just more laid back.

Both my boys were/are very laid back babies, go with the flow, not much upsets them. So far, both my girls are a little more dramatic, need a little more structure and need to be held more.

 

Same as lots of the pps here. Mine switched off and on as to who was more needier during the First Year. Hang in there.

 

I have really been worried about this! Twin B spent more time in NICU than twin A and is MUCH more needy. I feel guilty about the difference in time that I spend with each baby, but Jacob (twin B) really seems content. I guess it is my issue more than his. :huh:

 

Yeah, my Twin B spent time in NICU while Twin A got to come home with us. I felt guilty about this for a while because he's always been the needier one. But I now think it's just their inherent personalities. Jack (B) is a firecracker, and Nate (A) is a cool dude.