The most annoying question

the one that always gets me when you tell someone you are having twins is "Are they natural?"
First of all, all babies, no matter how they were concieved are natural, we aren't giving birth to cyborg babies.
And second of all, its really none of your business unless I choose to share.


ok your turn, share the most annoying question(s) you have had asked when you share you are having mulitiples.

 

People do not think before they speak and it does not get any better once your twins arrive, I'm sorry to say!

QUOTE(Twinsylvania April @ Nov 5 2007, 12:29 PM) [snapback]481852[/snapback]
the one that always gets me when you tell someone you are having twins is "Are they natural?"
First of all, all babies, no matter how they were concieved are natural, we aren't giving birth to cyborg babies.
And second of all, its really none of your business unless I choose to share.
ok your turn, share the most annoying question(s) you have had asked when you share you are having mulitiples.

I still get this all the time now out with my twins! I had someone in Disney World last Dec. ask me this on the bus, I almost said "as opposed to unnatural?" :lol:

I always hated when people just made a comment like "whoa you are going to have you hands full" or "double trouble". Yep, you know what I do and they are double trouble, but only I can say that about my kids, or kids to be at that point.

I also got, "you are going to be huge". :angry:

 

Definetly the 'are they natural' and I also HATE that people assume we are done having anymore babies (these will be our first) and a couple of people have even asked DH if he has his appointment made to get fixed!!!! WTF???!!!

 

We're having b/g twins, and I hate when people say, "Oh, instant family!!"

Ummm, we'd still be a family if we had b/b or g/g OR 1 baby OR no babies! I understand their intent but it's just a dumb phrase.

Also, I hate the "You're HUGE!" comments. Who thinks it's a good idea to say that to *anyone* whether pregnant or not??! Not a compliment, people!

 

I hate being told that people are jealous of me being of bedrest and they would love to be ordered to lie in bed all day. Guess these aren't questions, more statements though!

 

QUOTE(pettums @ Nov 5 2007, 01:50 PM) [snapback]482208[/snapback]
I hate being told that people are jealous of me being of bedrest and they would love to be ordered to lie in bed all day. Guess these aren't questions, more statements though!

No kidding! If they only knew how boring bedrest is.....it's like being in jail or on house arrest!

 

Most annoying question to date for me:

When were you due...last month??

Ummm, NO! I was not even 7 mths pregnant yet and wasn't due for 2 more months. I think it was more the snotty tone that annoyed me than the actual question itself. I can't leave the house these days without people commenting on how huge I am..but at least *most* people mean it nicely even if it didn't come out that way.

 

Hands down, it was "Do twins run in your family?"

I know people are just being nice and trying to make conversation. But there is no way for me to answer that question without being either blunt ("No.") or dishonest by omission ("No, we just got lucky.") or sharing more than I wanted to ("No, but we did IVF."). I usually went for the last option, partly because I wanted to educate people about IVF (and perhaps teach them not to ask anyone else that question).

 

1. You didn't do that Artificial insemination did you??? (no..but you are too stupid and uneducated to know the difference between that and IVF) or ( no we had hot Sex twice in one night to produce them)...What I really said was....No they are a blessing from GOD!

2. Are they Natural? (as opposed to unatural??) They are a blessing from God!

3. When are you due? (February...but who's counting?)

4. Do Twins run in your family? (they do now...why are wanting to make sure you don't marry anyone I am related to??)

I don't understand why people feel the need to ask these personal questions.....I mean they are asking about OUR SEX LIVES! what the heck????

Oh I also love it when they ask are you going to have them vaginally or via Csection???? (well let me look into my crystal ball and see....)

Have fun with it at their expense...I am starting to...and it makes me feel better!

LOL

Missy

 

Mine is- Twins? OMG what are you going to do, you are going to have your hands full!
Well duh, I am going to have my hands full, and thanks for reminding me- as for what am I going to do? Love them and take care of them!!!

 

"Why do you look so tired all the time?"
"Because I'm gestating two babies."
"Pregnancy doesn't make you THAT tired."
"Hmmm. I'll try to remember that. I'm sure that will perk me right up." - didn't actually say that, but thought it.

"You shouldn't have to wear maternity clothes yet, your uterus isn't even up to your belly button yet."
"I'm 13 weeks pregnant with twins. My doctor says my uterus is ABOVE my belly button. Regardless, my other clothes don't fit and I think it would be frowned upon if I came to school without pants."

ETA: My response to "Are they natural?" is "They aren't plastic."

 

I agree with all pp and have gotten all of it. I really don't like comments to the effect that twins are too much for anyone to handle. Are you kidding me? People do it ALL the time and live to tell about it. The thing I regret the most is the fear I had for a couple of months in my second trimester from listening to these comments. Not worth the fear. It did make me really educate myself though.

 

Firstly to all those on Bedrest, well done and keep up the good work. :bow2: I haven't been on bedrest but my Mum requested that I stay off my feet for a while as I had had some bleeding and cramping, (in first trimester) and I hated it and carried on like a spoiled child. lol. Sulking etc.
So I dont envy you at all and those people who say things obviously have NO IDEA.

Secondly, i have been asked by a Dr if I did IVF and I was actually impressed that he thought I had enough money to do that. lol.

As for annoying, I mainly have comments such as:

'Oh, they are going to be small' Well, they're not
"Twins always come early' Nope, not really.
'They'd be like 2-3 pounds each then?' About 6 at the moment.(2 weeks ago)
'Do twins run in your family?' I hate this one because the twins in my family(aunts) are identical. Mine are not.
'Do you know what they are?' Babies, i'm hoping. LOL
'How long do u have to go? You look like your going to pop' No kidding, imagine what it FEELS like, and shut you mouth

I cant think of any more off the top of my head. Talk about drive you nuts though.

 

Everyone has been pretty cool so far (knock on wood!) but I definitely get annoyed by the "Do twins run in your family?" comment. The "You're going to have your hands full!" is a bit annoying too. Yes, I know this. But the constant reminders do not help, thanks. <_<

My favorite though is when I tell people that I am having twins AND I'm single... the looks are priceless.

 

Do twins run in your family?

I don't know why, but I got that one constantly, and for whatever reason it just bugged. I didn't want to answer, "No," and then have them ask, "Did you do IVF?" So most of the time I just answered "yes" and that ended the conversation immediately.

 

the question i hated most was, "how are you feeling?" i'm having twins, how do you think i'm feeling?

and the comments i hated most were/are:

"wow, you're really small to be having twins... they must be tiny!" (check their birth weights below... )

"you're going to have your hands full!" to which i answer (thanks to a PP from before), "and my heart full" and THAT shuts them up.

 

Stupidest comment was "Twins? Was that planned?"

Followed closely by
"OMG better you than me, at least you got your girl out of it"
"What are you going to do?"
AND
"We were trying to decide if we wanted to try for #3 but after WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, I'm getting a tubal."

 

QUOTE(ellaila @ Nov 5 2007, 12:39 PM) [snapback]481873[/snapback]
We're having b/g twins, and I hate when people say, "Oh, instant family!!"


Oh yes, this one bothers me too. I get it a lot out with the twins too. I always just say well they have a big sister too.
QUOTE(SoBlessed @ Nov 5 2007, 05:58 PM) [snapback]482591[/snapback]
Stupidest comment was "Twins? Was that planned?"

Someone asked me that once too. Next time you should say yes, we had sex twice. :lol: That would probably shut them up.

 

QUOTE(KimsTwins @ Nov 5 2007, 01:54 PM) [snapback]482476[/snapback]
My favorite though is when I tell people that I am having twins AND I'm single... the looks are priceless.


I'm with ya there sister!

A little background: I work in an alcohol & drug treatment center with VERY entitled "clients".
One of the girls who is 25 asks me....
"Are you married?"
"No."
"Are those your boyfriend's babies?"
"He was at the time..."
She asked some more ridiculous **** that I can't even post.
I am told in the future if she does it again I need to tell her it is none of her business! (with ANYONE else I would have but it's gray here with clients- we can't be rough like that with them.)

 

Not too many questions bother me but my husband has a for sure answer for this one:

Do twins run in your family?

They don't. But he tells people they do because he is tired of answering that question and he figures he is not lying because techically, twins do run in the family now

 

Ughhh....1. Do twins run in your family??
No, as far I know...HOWEVER we were told they're identical, which don't run in families anyways.

2. Are you getting your tubes tied now?
Last time I checked, my reproductive life was none of your concern!

3. When are you going to try for a boy?!
Like having 4 little girls under the age of 5 makes me want to even think of trying to conceive AGAIN.

4. How are you going to do it?
Well I thought of letting my 4 year old take complete care of my 1 year old..while I tend to my babies..How
the heck do you think I'm gonna do it!!!!!

 

Did you have a c-section?
Shall we discuss your vagina before we discuss mine?

Did you conceive naturally?
Shall we discuss your sex life also?

How can you tell them apart?
Uhmmmm, I'm their mother. Plus they are fraternal with different hair and eye color.

Wow - you don't look big enough to be pregnant with twins!
Thanks for making me even more paranoid that they will be born early and small. &^&%$ moron!

You aren't/won't breastfeed, will you?
2 nipples, 2 breasts, 2 babies. I don't see the problem. ****, if I were Chandler Bing, I could tandem nurse triplets.

Do twins run in the family?
They do now - all over the place.

 

i have a few:

1st one oh are they identical, i hope u have a boy & girl....uhhhh how can they be identical if they hav diff parts duhh

2nd one- how far along are u? (and when i say 5 months) oh you poor thing! or wow u gonna be huge!! (like i dont already know this lol)

3rd one- (because i am in same sex relationship) i get the looks like ohhh did u plan this or was it an oops one night! ughh duh i dont think my DW would be walking and rubbing my belly if it were an accident!!

 

QUOTE(melissak @ Nov 5 2007, 12:36 PM) [snapback]481863[/snapback]
Definetly the 'are they natural' and I also HATE that people assume we are done having anymore babies (these will be our first) and a couple of people have even asked DH if he has his appointment made to get fixed!!!! WTF???!!!


unbeleivable!! Some people really have a nerve. :umm:

I have found that half the people i've told that i am having twins are like" you are so lucky, i'm jealous, how special etc"

the other half are like " (truly....) your life is wrecked for the next five years, "

I've also had the are they natuiral, they are id, and i have still had the you might have a boy and a girl (?!), also pet hate is (especially for a skinny girl) you are going to be HUGE!( <_< tell me something i DON"T know!), you'll need a nanny, double trouble, you'll be so busy (no ****)

the list goes on, people just seem to make their opinion more known when you are having twins, i never had so may comments during other preg. It really makes me mad.

Personally, i feel very blessed to be having twins, busy or not. and when someone says to me double trouble i say twice as nice.

 

I didnt take time to read all posts... sorry.

The worst for me was "Just WHAT are you going to DO WITH THOSE BABIES???"

~Oh I dont know maybe... TAKE CARE OF THEM!!

Really what kind of answer do they expect to that question???

 

QUOTE(erinh56 @ Nov 5 2007, 09:17 PM) [snapback]482912[/snapback]
Ughhh....1. Do twins run in your family??
No, as far I know...HOWEVER we were told they're identical, which don't run in families anyways.



3. When are you going to try for a boy?!
Like having 4 little girls under the age of 5 makes me want to even think of trying to conceive AGAIN.


yes i am sick of explaining how identicals and fraternals work, technically yes twins do run in my family, but grandmothers and great grandmothers never carried them to term, and lost them, so i guess, no...twins Don't run in my family....grrrr...don't need to be reminded that no one b4 me has successfully carried twin twins in my or my husbands family.

and i really hate the 4 under 5 comment too, like i planned that! what was i going to do, put one twin back?

 

I love it when people (usually family members or close friends) ask, "How do you feel?" and I say either "tired", "sick", or "awful" and they respond by saying, "Why?"

DUH :nea:

 

lol! I've been hit with most of these comments too, but it's made me think "what would I have said to someone expecting twins before I was in this situation?". I've now read most books on twins and have made myself a bit of an expert on the subject, before this pregnancy I was so ignorant about twins!

Some folks do go overboard with the negative comments though- and I hate when people react as though it's some kind of awful terminal illness! I've been surprised too however with the amount of people who say they would have loved to have twins, I think that's lovely.

But the most annoying thing for me is the "you won't even attempt to feed them yourself" comments. These have been from my closest family too!

 

I've had most of the ones that everyone has had, but one had to make me laugh. When telling someone I was pregnant with twins, they asked "Are you sure?" Welllll.... 2 heartbeats, 2 babies, 2 placentas, yah I think I'm sure. I did have to laugh at the couple who are expecting at the same time as me (with one baby) and the hubby was complaining about the costs of setting up a nursery for an infant. I told him I was expecting twins, and he said "Thank you. Now I don't feel so bad about the money I'm spending cause you are spending double" lol! Glad I could make his day.

 

QUOTE(SoBlessed @ Nov 5 2007, 07:58 PM) [snapback]482591[/snapback]
"We were trying to decide if we wanted to try for #3 but after WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, I'm getting a tubal."



My cousin had twins about 6 months before I did. Afterwards, another cousin of ours stated to both of us "Well, DH and I thought that we were going to try for one more child but after you two both had twins...i'm affraid to. I think we're done. We dont want twins..." Well hey, fine - i'm glad I had these two and I would do it all over again if i had the choice.

another annoying time, i was at K-mart with DH and not having the best of days, i was pushing one baby and him the other. An older lady in a motorized wheel chair wheeled up to us almost takign both carts out. She began asking all the questions "Boy and girl? Identical...etc....." I was gettting frustrated. Finally, she goes "So, do twins run in your family?" This is after she asked if they were idenitical, if we did invitro, if they were a boy and girl, all the common not making sense together questions... Finally i was so sick of it and this question just topped it off. I looked right at her and said "Nope, not yet, they're just learning to crawl...." and I walked away leaving her there with an open jaw and DH going - "uhm, ugh..... they're identical so it really doesnt matter......"

it only gets better once their born....

 

lets see - you know what annoyed me the most "did you know you were having twins"- um haven't you heard of the ULTRASOUND?!?!?!? I'm not sure I know of anyone now that doesn't get at least one u/s...does anyone blindly have twins anymore? Also "are you breastfeeding"....I didn't (by choice) and I almost said to one lady one time "why do you want to peek?"

 

It's funny how unoriginal a lot of people are. It seems that they're all saying the same thing to us!

Here's what I hate and what I wish I could say (there's a lot of repetition from the others, but I'll go ahead):

1.) When are you due?
I hate this one because when I say "January" people's eyes get really big. One woman even said, "Shut up! You can't be serious." Translation: "why are you so freakishly huge if you are due in January? You must be lying." Because of the big eyes and the second, longer glance at the 9-month-sized tummy, I try to say right away I'm having twins. I kind of hate, though, that this means that they get out the checklist of obligatory questions to ask next (why does every single person think they need to go down the list?) - natural? boys or girls? Do they run in your family? etc.

2.) Are they spontaneous twins?
This is usually asked by doctors and nurses. Does this give them any medical insight? I don't know. Mostly, they seem to think that it's amazing for someone to have "natural" (as opposed to what, "artificial"?) twins. I can't imagine this makes any difference. I want to say something like, "Well, the sex was pretty spontaneous."

3.) You're HUGE!
Thanks, and you're ugly, unoriginal and insulting!

4.) You poor thing! Better you than me!
I agree - I'd hate to see what kind of twin mother you'd be with that attitude! It's not like I have cancer or something! And why do people say this anyway? It is so condescending. It's like saying, "You terrible, unfortunate thing. You should know how bad your situation is. I'm also going to tell you how my position is superior so that both of us know that I'm better off than you." Ha! Again, I'm happy, not diseased or something!

5.) Are they fraternal or identical?
Mind you, this is normally a pretty ok twin question. When I've just told someone that they are boy/girl twins, however, I think this definitely puts them in the dunce category. Identical = exactly the same genes. How could a boy and girl have exactly the same set of chromosomes? Don't people even know about X and Y chromosomes? I even had one coworker say, "Why not? I still don't get it" after I said "Well, they're a boy and girl, so they can't be identical." I tried to go into a detailed conversation about genetics, but her eyes just got all glassy and I gave up... didn't want to hurt the poor dear or anything...

6.) Do twins run in your husband's family or yours?
A basic understanding of genetics (which I am learning is way too much to expect) will tell you that, for twins to be formed, either you need two eggs to be separately fertilized or one egg fertilized egg needs to split. Do they think that the dad might have some sort of super sperm that conquers the egg and makes it cleave in two? Or maybe the sperm sends out a beacon that attracts an extra egg down the tube? Any other possible circumstances that they have reasoned out, or do they just not think? Again, stupid me, being a former teacher, instead of saying something funny or pointed I try to explain as if the question wasn't ill-informed. After a few seconds of genetic talk I feel that I'm talking to myself.

7.) Well, you're all done then! How lucky! or Are you going to try again to achieve the old American 2.5?
Are you declaring I'm done? Is this an order? Do I have any say? I actually feel pretty done, but how can you assume this? I also mention my older daughter as well - they seem to assume you don't have any other kids if you're pregnant with twins.

8.) Is sex uncomfortable?
Why yes, being pregnant with twins does leave a wide open door to you inquiring into the deepest reaches of my sex life? At this point, being on bedrest and having this activity taken away from me, my answer would be, I only wish I were so lucky as to know the answer to that.

9.) So I guess you're having a c-section for sure then, huh?
Is your knowledge of labor and delivery any better than your understanding of genetics? I don't even want to go into this one. Try telling these people you want to try for natural labor. I did once - they thought I was nuts? Again, it all depends on all the planets aligning correctly, so you never know.

10.) Are you going to have your tubes tied?
Leave my tubes out of this! I don't want you thinking about my tubes!


Haha - forgive the rant. Thanks for giving me the opportunity.

 

I was just telling my husband about a question i have recieved from family members that just sends me through the roof. I have a son and he was 9lbs 13ozs when born. I am now 32 weeks preggo with the twins and combined they are almost 8.5lbs so my step mom and my mother in law like to wonder out load how this pregnancy can be that bad or why I would need modified bed rest with these guys if they do not even weigh as much as my son does.

well sincei Have had the joy of having a child already I can say that for me a sington is sooo much easier then a twin pregnancy. You only feel like you do now for about 1 week at the end with a sington.

2. there is way more stuff in me to support these babies and it shows because my belly is way bigger this time around.

3. DO YOU THINK I AM FAKING THIS??? I am tired and uncomfortable and there is a reason I am on modfied bed rest and see the doctors all the time. Twin pregnancies are different.


I have not had the nerve to say anything yet though The more uncomfortable I get though they should watch out because I will not be so nice. hehe

 

the questions never stop!!! my girls are 10 months old now and we STILL get the are they natural question!

my FIL asked me if I was glad that they aren't "real" twins!! (he ment identical so that we could tell them apart) -
I said they are about as "real" as they come!

also don't you know what causes that?? (we did IVF but most don't know - ) so I say you have NO idea!

now we get oh a boy and a girl?? with both dressed alike in frilly pink - I would feel very sorry for the boy dressed like this!

I really hate the better you than me comment - I always say you are right!

 

ok these are hilarious.

I haven't gotten TOO many, but I think they are going to start flowing.
I did get one who asked how far along I was and then she said, "Wow! you are going to be HUGE!" Gee thanks. And then almost everyone asks how far along I am (and they know I have twins) and I tell them and they their jaw drops. It gets annoying.

Do twins run in your family? I'm sick of that one. Yes they do, but I did IUI. I've been telling people that too.

Oh a couple people asked me this, which really was weird since I've always known there were 2 kinds of twins: identical and fraternal. So they ask:
"DO you know if they are paternal or maternal?" Huh?!?

Oh and when I tell them they are both girls:
"Are they identical?" This one doesn't bug me so much - at least they know its not paternal/maternal! lol

And the comments:
"Oh, you will have no time after they born" gee really?
and other comments like that. I mean really. Do you think I would TTC if I didn't realize all this?