The Importance of Family Dinners

So, I've been talking on a vegetarian listserve about my difficulties feeding my kids and a couple of people were really promoting family dinners. My boys just turned 2 last week and their vocabulary is very limited (well, big but only one word at a time at this point). I read some articles about the importance of family dinners and it seemed like most of it was connecting with your kids and having prolonged conversations without interruptions. Is it really important to have family dinners at this stage? I would be the only adult at the table so they wouldn't even be able to hear other conversations. It would probably just be me saying "don't tip your milk glass over. don't put your bread in your water" etc etc.

Maybe I'm just rationalizing because I don't want to do dinners. I have a half hour after I get home from work while my nanny is still there and feeding them dinner that is my own time and I'm kind of jealous of it but if it is really important to do, I'll start.

What has your experience been around this issue?

Thanks

 

I found, for us, that once we started doing family dinners (even if it was just me) that they started eating better, would eat almost anything I'd put in their plate (because I was eating it too ) and they were much more well behaved. They were also big on playing with toys while eating and once we sat down together, they did away with the toys. It is a different chemistry of talking when at the dinner table and I'm not sure why, but it is really great for both you and the kids. :wub: That is... if you can, of course. :good:

 

We have been doing family dinners since the twins were 9 months old. I think it's very important to sit down as a family each night. I really feel all 3 of my kids eat better and it's nice to talk as a family. That is when my oldest DD tells us what she did in school. Now we even ask Emilie and Trevor what they did during the day. I think it's a very nice and important part of the day.

 

We've always done family dinners (as both DH and I did as kids as well). I think it is important to promote healthy eating habits and the importance of family time and conversation. Mine have always been decent eaters and they talk a lot (and early on).

 

We have always done family dinners and feel it is vital to all of us.

DH works out of town & it still happens every day even when I am the only adult.

I cannot recommend it enough.

 

QUOTE(TwinLove @ Jun 11 2009, 03:51 PM) [snapback]1350670[/snapback]
I found, for us, that once we started doing family dinners (even if it was just me) that they started eating better, would eat almost anything I'd put in their plate (because I was eating it too ) and they were much more well behaved. They were also big on playing with toys while eating and once we sat down together, they did away with the toys. It is a different chemistry of talking when at the dinner table and I'm not sure why, but it is really great for both you and the kids. :wub: That is... if you can, of course. :good:


Liz said my thoughts perfectly :good:

I made a goal for myself. By the age of 2, I wanted all three of my kids to be eating the same thing. We still ate after all of the kids went to bed. By the time the boys were 2.5 I wanted us to be doing a family dinner. We started doing a family dinner about 6 months ago (a little earlier than planned) and it has worked great. There are however some nights that they are just too hungry to hold out so I do feed them earlier but in general we eat as a family. GL!

There is a great book called Child of Mine by Ellyn Satter that is a great read on feeding toddlers and the importance of a family dinner. It was just what I needed to get my booty in gear.

 

I think there is a lot to be said for family dinners.

But it's not the only way to get those advantages for your kids.
If you and DH spend time quality time with them at other times of the day, they can get that language imput.

BUT I also feel it makes kids better eaters. We've done family dinners from the get go--from the time they started eating. I feed them solids at the table while DH and I were eating. They also ate at other times of the day, but I molded their schedule to fit ours so that they were also eating with us from 6 months. From 6 to 9 months I just pulled the double stroller up to the table and fed them in that. At 9 months we got trayless highchairs that pulled up to the table. Until they were 3 they were great eaters, from 3 to 4.5 for Bianca and 3 to now for Gabby they still eat a wide variety of foods, but just ate the most minimul amounts of them. Bianca suddenly started eating in April. Gabby is getting better but it's been slow.
I really think seeing the rest of the family eat and enjoy food and them wanting to be a part of that helps a lot.

 

IT doesnt have to just be dinners either. Family meals is how I think of it. I aim for at least 1 per day, whether its breakfast, lunch or dinner.
DH works shift work so 1/2 the week hes not even there for dinner.
I sit at the table with the kids, just the 3 of us. I explain to them what they are eating, and ask them how it taste and demonstrate how to properly use utensils do the best you can and if you work, use the weekends when you arent feeling so rushed!

 

We don't really do family dinners. For all the years we've been together, DH and I have usually just eaten whenever we're hungry. Sure, we'll wind up eating together plenty of times, but we don't care one way or the other. Now with the kids, there are all these obstacles. It's hard to get everyone's appetites in sync, and even trying would just add another difficulty to a life that's hard enough already! The kids are always hungry around the same times, but there's no guarantee that I'll be. And if I am, heaven help me - it's no fun to try to enjoy my meal while supervising theirs. I prefer to eat when there's a bit more peace and quiet.

When they're older, we'll probably sit down to meals more together. As of now, nobody has any desire to. We connect plenty at other times, they're not missing out that way. And my kids are phenomenal eaters. (A meal from heaven for them would be kale soup, whole wheat pasta with sundried tomato pesto, veggie "chicken," and mango chunks. All in large quantities.)

 

I agree family dinners are important. You'll be teaching your kids how to eat at the table and when they are older it will be a great opportunity to connect with them. That being said, we only do family dinners on the weekends right now. Both dh and I work full time and the twins eat dinner before we get home. Start off with maybe one of 2 dinners a week, maybe have your nanny prepare dinner before you get home and even have her join you if you'd like them to hear adult conversation.

 

didn't work for us - it didn't make my kids eat any better - didn't make them want what was on our plate and involved alot of whining and stress on mine and DH's parts...they'd rather play than eat, they don't sit in their chairs etc...

oh and they still talk and communicate well...so if you don't want to do it right now - don't and don't feel guilty or pressured...

 

We have done family dinners since my first was 18 months (prior to that we didn't have a table we could all eat at). As soon as the twins were born and alert at meal times they were included at the table. Growing up my family never ate a meal together every day- we would eat together only on Sundays- so it was important to me to do family meals.

I never eat breakfast with the kids in the morning, I am too busy getting everything ready for the day. Lunch is eaten together about half the time, other days I am checking email, cleaning up, can't find anything to eat. Dinner is always together, though my husband isn't home most nights, so it is me and the three kids. I enjoy the conversation and the atmosphere of eating together, I can't say that they eat better or communicate better since we have always done it this way.

 

i agree that they are important and we've been doing them since the girls started eating solids!

I think they eat better, it gives us all time to "chat" and sit down together. I also think it's a good routine to start now so we can carry it out as the kids get older and it getes more important.

But I don't think it's vital for everyone and as long as you are spending lots quality time with them, which I'm sure you are!!

 

I was so stressed about this last year-- I know how you feel!

Since I work outside the home, we "eased" into family dinners from about age 2 to age 3. And, even now, at approaching 3.5, we have one or two nights a week when my DH and I eat after the kids are in bed (its like a mini date night.)

First we did family dinners only on the weekends (Fri, Sat. and Sun). Then we added a mid-week dinner (Tues night). Then we added Thursday night. Then we added Wednesday (most of the time). Now, most Mondays, the kids eat first (early) and then my DH and I eat (but the same food) after they are in bed -- its a late dinner for us, but it gives us a little break.

This worked for us -- the babysitter would feed the twins before leavinig (or at least get food ready for them) on the nights that we were NOT having family dinners. It allowed us to "ease" into this dinner routine and, at least for us, it has worked out very well.

Also, I meal plan every week (usually right before a shopping trip) for a weeks' worth of meals. Makes it so much easier to walk in the door, look at the menu, and start cooking, rather than standing (with the fridge door open) saying "what should we have for dinner tonight????"

Best of luck with this,

Meg