The babysitter is gone :(

Without any notification the babysitter just walked away & never came back, she even didn't say she'd go, I was surprised yesterday that she's not answering my calls & switching off her cellular, I talked to her mother she said she'd come today but she didn't either.

My husband is out of city these days, maybe back tomorrow, my mom says she doesn't have to help & she doesn't have time nor energy. I'm by myself, doing EVERYTHING from 8 am till 10 pm. I know this might sounds silly for some of you who are on their own from day 1, but the thing is that I'm not that strong person, add to this that I've serious back problems & I can't make heavy effort for long time.

Well, yes I'm sad although I'm trying to say I'll do it by myself, but it was all of a sudden, & I'm not ready neither physically nor mentally.

I dont know why some people are that mean, I wonder why she never said she's quitting! I treated her like a sister & i give her good salary as well!!!!

Do you think that MY mother is right when she says it's not her responsibility to help me? She's busy with some social & political work (not that much though), she even today lied to me, she said she's travelling while she was not, not to ask her to come over & help me. I dont think I'd do the same with my sons when they grow up, I believe that a mother is a river of love, care, help & support that never stops giving.

Would you please tell me how you manage by urself? I dont wanna get depressed so please help me with anything

Menna

 

I know hiring a babysitter is probably a long process, but is there anyone you could get in a hurry for now until you can interview etc. for a new one? Go through local agency or something. Even local community colleges that have students majoring in certain child classes etc. - that look for part time work - or need time in for a senior project etc. If $ is not that much of an issue - you may inquire about a nanny until you can find a babysitter you like and trust? Personally I think your Mom is wrong. That's what moms do - help their daughter during rough times etc. I think she should understand - especially if physically taking care of the twins is hard for you. You may even call local daycares / pre-schools - they maybe able to tell you about people they know and trust that are looking for extra work - good luck - I'm sure you will find someone. Shame on your old babysitter to not give you any notice.

 

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. Sending big hugs your way! :hug99:

When my kids were babies (not twins but less than two years apart), we lived just a few miles from my parents and my in-laws. Neither grandmother would ever come and help me. And forget about having them babysit for an evening out with DH. Both of them told us during my first pregnancy, "We raised our kids and we don't plan on raising yours." I was always so hurt by that. They were okay grandparents otherwise but usually just saw my kids when the whole family (other siblings and their kids) were going to be there. They weren't thrilled to death about seeing my kids but I know they did love them. I just could not understand why they didn't want to be around them more often, or to help me out when things were tough, like sick babies or DH out of town, etc.

It used to upset me so much when one my friends would say her kids were at Grandma's house, or that Nana was watching the baby or coming over to help, etc. I wanted that so much, and not just because I wanted help with the kids. I wanted my kids to have a relationship with their grandparents. My kids are now both grown, and neither of them had much a relationship with either set of grandparents, which I think is so sad.

And the kicker is ... now that I have the blessing of being a Grandma, I'm 350 miles away from my DD!! I would give anything to help her in any way I could, and it would mean the world to me to be able to spend more time interacting with my precious grandsons. Dang, it just doesn't seem fair!!

So anyway, no helpful hints or words of wisdom for you, I just felt sad for you when I read your post. While you're struggling and feeling overwhelmed, your mom is missing out on some very precious moments! But sadly she's right, it is NOT her responsibility to help ... what she doesn't realize is that it's a HONOR and a BLESSING, as a Mom and as a Grandmother.

Best wishes to you!

 

:hug99: Big hugs to you. I am so sorry that you have no support right now! That was really rude of your babysitter to quit without giving any notice, and I wish your mom were more supportive.

Don't beat yourself up about feeling overwhelmed - taking care of twins all by yourself is HARD! Especially with a sore back.

I hope you get some help soon. But if not, you can do it. You may surprise yourself with how strong you are...

 

QUOTE(fuchsiagroan @ Oct 4 2007, 10:53 PM) [snapback]436339[/snapback]
:hug99: Big hugs to you. I am so sorry that you have no support right now! That was really rude of your babysitter to quit without giving any notice, and I wish your mom were more supportive.

Don't beat yourself up about feeling overwhelmed - taking care of twins all by yourself is HARD! Especially with a sore back.

I hope you get some help soon. But if not, you can do it. You may surprise yourself with how strong you are...



I totally agree. You are stronger than you think!

 

I know you posted awhile back that you thought you should get rid of her, so maybe fate decided for you. Testing you so you can see how strong you really are. I am sorry that she just up and quit, that really is sad and not very cool at all. Did she or her mother give you any reason why they did this?

You can do it.

As for how do I do it... newborn twins and a 3 year old?? I just do, I don't try and think about it, cause I'd freak out!

xoxoxoxo

 

I'm so sorry this happened to you! And having a bad back certainly doesn't help matters. I have no family nearby to help me, but we do have some babysitters who occasionally watch the girls once in a while so DH and I can go on a date.

How have you done things up until now? Does your DH help out at all? You said he will be back soon?

I guess one key is organization. Do you try to get your boys to eat and nap at the same time? I have a three year old besides my twins, I pump several times a day, and I do some work-related stuff at home. Somehow you just get used to things.

Some days I feel like I deserve "The Worst Mother of the Year" award, but I just try to give myself some slack. The girls don't get bathed every night...don't really NEED it. The house isn't always that clean, but I do try to at least keep up with the clutter.

Let's see...when I think of something I need at the store I write it down right away. Otherwise, my mind is in such a blur that I wouldn't remember later on, LOL.
So sorry your Mom doesn't want to help out, either. I wouldn't say it's her "responsibility," but it's sad that she doesn't want to spend time with her own daughter and grandchildren. :hug99:

You CAN do it! We're here for you.

 

Thank you all, every day I get to love this forum more & more...

Kim, In Egypt, Where I am, there's not such things, when i need a nany or a made I just keep asking all my friends about anyone (it's not easy to find, rather to find a good one) & the agencies take too much money & u can never trust them, we've bad experiences at my parents' house. So, all I can do is keep asking friends & relatives if they know someone.

Kathy, I do appreciate your words, very wise actually. Yes, I guess ur right about my mother, it's not her responsibility, but u know she passes by, just to stay for an hour or max 2. When I gave birth, I had a terrible complicated delivery (pregnancy started with threatened abortion ended by heart failure & preeclampsia) I was to some extent alone, just with my DH who is a pediatrician and u can imagine how busy he is. My grandfather passed away 1 day after I went back home, so mom was in grief & busy.

Peach mama, yeah ur right, I was feeling so guilty that I leave my babies to a baby sitter, that's why I feel relieved (spelling?!) but it's just a BIG responsibilty was thrown on my shoulder suddenly.

Melissa, veggiehead & fuchsiogroan, thanks for your support, I think I can do it, we're on scheduel so everything is somehow organised, pray for me : )

fuchsiogroan, I wonder how you pronounce your nick name

Love you all & hug you all & your babies ( lol, I'm not that fat )

Menna

Excuse my english, it's my third language

 

Hang in there... it can be hard but very rewarding. I bet that you are stronger than you ever imagine. It is all that i know so i just ran with it. Hang in there and keep us posted.

 

I hope today is going ok for you! Let us know how it went. However shocking it was to have your babysitter leave, I'm sure your boys are THRILLED to have you all to themselves!! and by the way, your english is excellent! I can't believe it's your third language! You pick up on all the little things that others would miss in English.

Reyna

 

I'm sure you can do it! Remember, God doesn't guide where He won't provide... if God gave you those babies, He's going to give you the strength to take care of them. He loves your babies even more than you do! Ask Him for help!

About your mom, I would try to just be kind to her. We all want to think of our moms as an "unending river of love and support," but once we grow up, we realize that our moms are human, too, and have their own desires! I'm sure you can handle it until a new babysitter is found. In the meantime, have you tried inviting other moms over for lunch? I like to have another mom over to lunch once a week and it makes the day fly by so much quicker! I don't even serve anything fancy, just sandwiches and fruit. I don't know what kind of "easy food" you have in Egypt, but I'm sure there's something. I know you've got good fruit and great breads!!!

 

So how did your day go?

(The nickname is a character in some books I love, btw. )

Oh, and your English is terrific! My DH is also a non-native speaker, and is insecure about his English sometimes - it seems like the people most nervous at their language skills are the best at it.

 

You can do this. I know it must be exhausting and difficult to have it thrust on you in this way and it breaks my heart that your mother is unwilling to help you.

I do not live near family and my DH is away at training for 3 months. I have been on my own with the babies for 7 weeks now and it was so hard at first. Now we are in a routine and I just take it one day at a time. I wouldn't say it is necessarily easier, but I am used to it now. The only breaks I get are when they nap or are sleeping at night. I hope your DH comes back soon so you can get a break.

 

Yepppiiiiiiiiiiii :banana: , I'm doing GREAT & I'm happy the babysitter is gone!

I'm enjoying doing everything with my little heroes. It's exhausting but very interesting. I think being on schedule makes everything easy. I do rest a while when they nap/sleep, and guess what, today I napped with them for 1.30 hour :a_smil09:

I'm trying to keep everything as organized as possible, I wash their clothes as soon as I can, the kitchen is always clean, I even had time & energy to re-organize their room & all their stuff. Thanks God, I wish things go that way for ever.

Take Luck, I'm obsessed by the infection issues, I hate when a friend of mine comes by with her children, I dont like anyone to touch my babies unless they washed their hands, and most of them do not have a sleeping time so they wouldn't respect ours, mine sleep so early comparing to other babies. Up above, I live in a small flat, so no room for other kids to play around .

I'm just anxious about one thing, my period is 10 days late (i've regular cycles), do you think it's late cos of bf? or might be cooking more children providing that I've plenty of time, energy & money B) (We're IVFers, but we can never know what God may do)

By the way, thanks everyone about the sweet compliment about my english, you make me feel confident

Love you,

Menna

 

QUOTE(Dr. Menna @ Oct 7 2007, 12:34 AM) [snapback]438787[/snapback]
Yepppiiiiiiiiiiii :banana: , I'm doing GREAT & I'm happy the babysitter is gone!

I'm just anxious about one thing, my period is 10 days late (i've regular cycles), do you think it's late cos of bf? or might be cooking more children providing that I've plenty of time, energy & money B) (We're IVFers, but we can never know what God may do)

By the way, thanks everyone about the sweet compliment about my english, you make me feel confident

Love you,

Menna


I'm so glad things are going so well! And if I were you, I'd be taking a pregnancy test!!! Let us know!

Reyna

 

Reyna, I'm in denial , every day I say I''ll take a test tomorrow but obviously, I don't

Menna

 

Menna! So happy for you that life is BETTER than you expected! Such fun time to bond with your boys now! Enjoy!!

 

That's wonderful! I'm glad it turned out so much better than you expected.