Terrified of Induction

As background, my ideal birth would be at home, unmedicated, in a tub of water. I would have a midwife present, but no medical intervention (unless life/death of course!)

Fast forward to this pregnancy. The midwife I used with DS has since moved and once we found out it was twins, we realized that unless it was Brenda, we should probably go with a traditional OB (since we trust Brenda SOOO much and wouldn't feel comfortable using a different midwife with less experience).

I found an OB that was more "granola" and agreed to a mostly hands off approach. Great, things are looking good.

But here I am, at 38w2d and I have a GNARLY case of PUPPS. So bad in fact, that one of the midwives in his practice came in the room and said "Wow! I think that's the worst case I've ever seen!!!" (And she's been a mw for 25+ years!).

I'm uncomfortable. I'm anxious. My body aches. My belly is huge. But all that I can handle. I didn't want an induction and OB was fine with it as long as babes were still looking good. So, I was in it for the long haul. As much as I cringed at the idea of going 40 weeks, I was prepared for it.

But now...this rash. Has me feeling like the Joker from Batman...the Heath Ledger version. Crazy. Uncontrollable. I haven't slept in two days. I want to scream. I want to take a vegetable peeler to my skin. Nothing helps. No amount of Calamine, Benadryl, oatmeal baths...it is absolutely UNBELIEVABLE.

So when I went to my OB appointment this morning only to find that I'm still only 75% effaced and a "stretchy" 1 cm (which I was two weeks ago!), I caved and not only let her strip my membranes...but also put me on the schedule to be induced on Sunday July 12.

I am terrified of being induced. So scared that it will lead to Pitocin and then possibly a c-section. And I'm so disappointed in myself. That I can't just "man up" and deal with the itching for a few more days or weeks.

I hate making decisions out of desparation...especially when I had so carefully thought out my birth plan and how I would handle things. And now, I'm caving in...

 

Awww, you poor thing. I think you're being too hard on yourself though. Give yourself a break. You've done an amazing job and gone so far. There is no reason why you should continue to suffer like this. And I always say -- there's no prizes handed out for how you get them here, the only prize is the two healthy babies. Cut yourself a break, mama. Sounds like your body is telling you that its time.

Hope you feel better soon and even better, I hope you go into labor before Sunday!!! Come on kiddos!!

 

Sometimes you have to do what you feel is right, and even though it's scary, this feels like the best possible option at this point. I was induced at 38w2d and it was easy, smooth and fast! Would do it again in a heart beat. It was all over within 4 1/2 hours!

Good luck!

 

hugs mama

I think you may know I feel very similar to you. Might not have gone so far as to a home birth, but def wanted a waterbirth at an alternative, limited intervention birthing center.

Today I was quizzing one of the OB's I am in rotation w/about the 'induce at 38 week' per policy (which I found out is quite negotable yay) but another thing she said that gave me hope is that generally with a 2nd+ pregnancy, your body is going to be much more responsive to the interventions used and therefore a failed induction resulting in your fear (pitocin-->c-section, my fear also) is statstically less likely. That gave me a bit of comfort in hearing anyway so thought I would share.

Hang in there and try not to hold it against yourself. You are doing great!!!

 

:hug: So sorry you are suffering sooo much!!

Honestly since I would consider myself the opposite of granola I don't know if you'd care what I have to say but I thought I'd chime in and try to give you some ideas and support.

I've been thinking about birth plans and going natural vs medicated vs home birth vs hospital and all that stuff after reading a pregnancy blog I frequent. And I have come to a conclusion, it's not at all about what we want/envision/think will be best/desire no matter what camp you belong to, it's really all about healthy babies. That means very different things to different people but to me (and only my opinion)it also includes inductions, not just a "the baby will know when it's time" approach. Why? My last singleton did NOT want to come out, she waited until the night before the scheduled induction to start to come 10 days late (ended up using oxytocin anyway to regulate things though) and I believe the troubles we had with her (fever, nicu time, spinal tap, antibiotics etc) were from them letting her go so long overdue. I truly, truly, truly do...so that's whay I say I would also factor in other circumstances other than the "babies know" line of thinking. I think some are just too comfy even though they know it's time LOL! Mine is as stubborn on the outside as she was on the inside.

You have been through soooo much momma, don't beat yourself up. You deserve some relief and at a full 38 weeks plus, I can't think of anyone who wouldn't say you are superwoman to stand this all any longer. Let's hope they come before Sunday and all goes smoothly for everyone!!! But I say if they don't, embrace the induction and kow that your babies will be in your arms soon!

 

:hug: sending labour vibes your way - come on babies!

 

I'm crossing my fingers for you on this side of the ocean =)

 

Awww...you poor thing! This will all be over soon, one way or another! I know a lot of people who have had GREAT induction experiences. If your doctor is asking you to induce, he must think you are i) favorable for induction and ii) better off delivering now rather than later. You have to trust that he has your health and the health of your babies in mind.

 

Congrats for getting so far! I totally agree with what someone else said, healthy babies are the key!! I was so proud of myself for getting to 30 weeks with no complications and no bed rest - and then bam - bedrest! I had to be induced because of HELLP Syndrome at 34 weeks 6 days...I had to be on Magnesium and the Pitocin they gave me was fighting with the Magnesium so my contractions were really irregular - BUT I did not have to have a C-Section! The doctor was ready for one at a certain point, it was a little touch and go!

You have done a fantastic job getting this far - WAY TO GO!! I totally understand about the PUPPS too - I had it and it drove me CRAZY!!

Hope all goes well - and don't be too hard on yourself!! We always have an ideal plan, and sometimes those plans have to change...just look at it as Plan A or Plan B (and sometimes you need a Plan C!)

 

Don't beat yourself up - there is only so much you can control. My water broke on its own at 37.4 weeks, my babies were both head down, I was on pitocin all day, and I never progressed at all and ultimately ended up with a c-section. Perfect scenario for a vaginal birth. You could have a wonderful induction, you could have your water break tomorrow, you could end up with a c-section. But, at the end of the day the only thing that matters is you and the babies leaving the hospital healthy.

 

Oh the itching! Definitely sending labor vibes your way. It's not a matter of manning up, if your out of your mind with discomfort, that's not going to be good for anybody. If you can't treat the rash (don't know much about PUPPS but can totally sympathize) then maybe you're right to think about encouraging your babes to make an entrance.

Congrats on finding a open minded OB, she should be a help. Put the induction off as long as you can stand it. Maybe you can try some natural induction methods! I had my twins at home, and for all sorts of reasons (not really good ones) I brought them on with castor oil at 39 weeks. Go for a long walk, maybe try some nipple stim, or even DD if you can manage (I couldn't). Castor oil's nasty, but it worked for me and I'd bet was much nicer than pit.

But don't get down either about how dialated / effaced you are. I've heard that for 2nd babes, your body opens up much closer to birth than with first time moms. And as a PP said, induction should go better.

Good luck!!!

 

I am so sorry you are feeling so bad! I really hope those babies decide to make an appearance soon! I am not as far along as you, but I cannot believe mine haven't either! Feeling your pain girl. You can do it.
I was induced with my daughter, and it went alright. I mean, it was fast - 12 hours start to finish for everything! And I am not a fan of pitocin. But, if it comes to that again this time, I will just have to put my faith in the universe that it will work out and we will all come out safe in the end.

You will do great.
Keep us posted.
Molly
36 weeks 4 days

 

I also had a "crunchy" OB who really guided me (first pregnancy). She refused to consider a c-section because baby A was vertex. She also refuses to perform circumcisions. So that gives you an idea of her "crunchiness."

But I ended up wit pitocin AND an epidural, but everything went just fine. My labor was 6 hours, and I slept for at least 2 hours of it. Neither the pitocin nor the epidural slowed down my labor. It was truly text-book perfect. I think the key is trusting that your OB won't take measures that can't be reversed - like breaking your water. Then if the induction fails, you can try again in a few days (if you can stand the itching!)