terrible twos?

Hello everyone,

I'll just vent and I would appreciate any feedback you have or any insight! My 21-month olds are driving me crazy!!! All of a sudden they are testing me to the limits and clinging and whining and fussing all the time. I feel I have always been consistent with discipline, and I never let unacceptable behaviors go, but they just keep doing it. My ds has always had a strong will, but now it seems as if he doesn't care one bit what mom says or does, and he hardly ever listens to me and follows my direction. I count to three and when I get to three he says "no'. I do time outs at that point, and he runs out of the corner, so then I take him up to his crib. My dd is most of the time pretty good, but when she is bad she is very very bad! She has even looked me straight in the eye and hit me. It seems like they are going through the terrible twos, twin jealousy, and separation anxiety all at the same time. Aaaaaarghhhh!!!

Here's one thing I tried with success today---I separated them to separate areas of the house and let them each play in their own space. It was about the most peaceful half hour I can remember in a long time. I am curious, do you think they just get tired of being a twin sometimes and need this? I plan on doing this every day.

I also did some more childproofing and took down one gate so that they have some more room to roam. And then I decided that whining and fussing is a language that I am uncapable of hearing. I was totally consistent with this tonight and I could tell my daughter was out of her comfort zone, so I hope that that will eventually work.

For anyone who has taken the time to read this, THANK YOU, and if you have any thoughts, I would love to hear them. TIA,

Sheila

 

My twins just turned 3, and I have dealt and still deal with most of what you have described. I ended up having to take the baby gates down as DS at 2.5 yrs could tear them down or figure how to open it. DD used to hit me when I would tell her not to do something. She didn't like hearing me say "no, put that back". I rarely spank, but I did. I also sent her to timeout and told her that she is to never hit anyone again. I know it may not be a good idea to spank her for hitting me, but it worked. She never hit me again. I do believe that is something that needs to be put to an end immediately.

I do have my moments where I can't take listening to the biting, hitting, whining, crying.....etc. I put them both in their rooms for a timeout. I leave them there for a good 15 minutes, too. Not this 1 minute for 1 year old, 2 minute for 2 year old rule. That doesn't work for my kids. After putting them in their rooms, they are much, much better. I try to follow the train of thought as "whatever makes me a better parent in the long run". If I find I am no longer capable of listening to the fighting and whining, off to their rooms they go. It is truly better for all of us in the long run. I get a moment of quiet, and they do too from each other.

 

You just described our house, too.
It is draining. I think there are Pre-terrible twos at 15m until around 21m...I'm terrified for the next 3m. :lol:
It is driving me crazy sometimes, and then other times, I can see that they are picking things up and getting easier in other areas.
My biggest thing is when they hit me. That is the worst. They used to deal with time-outs well. Now, they laugh at me. Fortunetly they are understanding the sad emotion better and realize what they have done/are doing wrong.

 

Hi Sheila - Bless your heart! Take a deep breath and know you are not alone! That's why we hear phrases like two year old attitude and terrible two's! It can be exhausting! (Believe me, this period of time will prepare you for the "teen years!!!!" Just kidding! My twins just turned two a couple of weeks ago and I have a 14 mo. old as well. I have noticed that when things start to get a little too crazy, if I stop what I am doing and just go play with them for 15 min or so, I mean goofy games like pretending to be animals or ring around the rosie, hokey pokey etc. just fun activities or maybe lucky ducks or some other board game, sometimes that helps them get out that pent up energy as well as have your undivided attention. Also, when children misbehave, sometimes they are tired. Maybe time for a nap. My babies take two naps a day and they would not be very happy children if they didn't get that sleep. Most of all, hang in there! My DD who is 23 with a 19 mo. DS just called and told me that when she went to get her son from his nap she discovered that he had pulled off the strip of boarder paper that my DS and SIL had hung this morning!! We both just started laughing our heads off --- it beats crying!! Good Luck to you!

 

I agree with the previous post that if you play with them for a bit, generally they are better.
I also discovered EAR PLUGS for when they are massively whining. It helps SOOOOOOOOOOO much!!!
Best of luck! I am dreading the two's here.

 

Honestly ... the 2s aren't as bad as the 3s. I really think the terrible 2s are overrated ... 2 3/4 + ... that's when it gets "funny"!

 

I have been thinking about the terrible two lately and I honestly think the twos get blammed too much. It is the 6 months before two and three (from what I hear) that are bad. Because two is in the middle of all that it gets blamed. I hear you. I sometimes buckle them into booster seats and make them look and books or do puzzles for a couple minutes and that helps calm them down. I hear you, hang in there!

 

They are likely wanting more attention. Get some of those big chunk puzzles and sit with them and do those for a while - it really stimulates their brains and will keep them busy when you can't play with them (like when on TS kidding!)

Ali tested me to the max yesterday. To the point where she lost privileges left and right. Today we seem to be back on track! I don't know what the answer is. They do go through times when they ONLY want YOU and that's just not possible all the time.

Hang in there!!

 

I'm right there with ya too. A&A are just starting to get clingy,so they aren't too bad yet. M&M are horrible with "mommy will do it". DH can't do anything for them. They are constantly picking at A&A, demanding something from me, or fighting with each other. Their 3rd B-day is on the 18th, so I'm hoping some of these behaviors settle down after that

Crystal

 

We are right there with you. It certainly tests my patience in ways that I didn't think was possible. It's just hard to make it through the day sometimes. For us it started at 23 months and hasn't stopped, if anything it's gotten a little worst in the past few months.

 

QUOTE(wengdddeng @ Nov 8 2007, 06:01 AM) [snapback]486623[/snapback]
I'll just vent and I would appreciate any feedback you have or any insight! My 21-month olds are driving me crazy!!! All of a sudden they are testing me to the limits and clinging and whining and fussing all the time. I feel I have always been consistent with discipline, and I never let unacceptable behaviors go, but they just keep doing it. My ds has always had a strong will, but now it seems as if he doesn't care one bit what mom says or does, and he hardly ever listens to me and follows my direction. I count to three and when I get to three he says "no'. I do time outs at that point, and he runs out of the corner, so then I take him up to his crib. My dd is most of the time pretty good, but when she is bad she is very very bad! She has even looked me straight in the eye and hit me. It seems like they are going through the terrible twos, twin jealousy, and separation anxiety all at the same time. Aaaaaarghhhh!!!


I think you stole my twins b/c I could have wrote this paragraph!!! They are both driving me crazy! I am very consistant with the discipline but Kaytlin just looks at me and smiles, just makes me want too %^%&*$%^$%$^! And it doesnt help that I have a lot of stress right now (aunt has cancer, my best friend is going through tests right now b/c they think she has cancer)....Some days I just sit back and think about being on the beach with no worries...awwww!!!!

 

Thanks everyone for your support and input! Since I posted this I have been giving the kiddos some separate time every day--time away from each other in separate parts of the house. I think this has helped quite a bit. Good luck to all of you who are experiencing this too!

 

When I get to my wit's end with my girls, I put them back into their crib so mommy can have a timeout. I come back after they have settled down and they are usually fine after that.

 

No advice really....we are in two year old ****! I keep wine in the fridge! When my friends daughter turned two I gave the daughter a beautiful dress and the mom a great bottle of wine!