Terrible 3's, Please Help!

My son is making me crazy. He turns 4 next Monday, and every single second of every single day is a battle. I know the stress of the twins has been hard on all of us, but he has always been this way, straight out of the womb. He'll ask to do something, and when I tell him "no" he has these hysterical crying jags, sometimes for upwards of 45 minutes. He'll stop crying long enough to ask me to do the same thing. The answer is always "no," and he keeps crying until he finally moves on to something else. I try to make compromises with him, but if he cant' have it all his way, he doesn't want it. For example, he wanted to watch a movie today (it was a beautiful day out, we needed to be outside as soon as I could put the babies to sleep). So I said "no, we're going to go outside. Watching movies is a special treat." So he cries (piercingly), then comes back completely composed, asks the same thing, gets the same answer. Repeat about 50 times (and meanwhile, the babies are not going to sleep). I have never given in to him once I have told him "no," and I keep waiting for the day that he realizes this. I know that part of this is him looking for some control in his small world, but I have no idea what to do about all this crying. If anyone has any advice I would be grateful!

 

I'm sorry I don't have any advice as my kids are a lot younger. But since he's always been similar and it sounds as if you're consistent in your boundaries, I wondered if it might be helpful for you to have a look at a book called The Explosive Child. I've certainly heard a lot of parents saying how useful they found it. There's both a website and reviews on amazon to give you a better idea.

Hoping that maybe someone else could offer some more personal advice.
lisa

 

My sister is dealing with the same kinds of behaviors in her 3 year-old. I recommended this Book to her after hearing a mom at the park talk about it.

I think that getting a handle on the why's and specifics for helping you deal with them would probably help things a lot. Good luck!

 

My oldest is turning 4 next month and she has always been "passionate" about everything. I would agree from the womb! I was really worried about her being ADHD so her ped recommended giving her Coromega every day. It's a fish oil, but is flavored orange. I mix it with her orange juice every night before bed so she doesn't see me doing it in the morning, she has never mentioned it tasting different. I researched it on-line and everything was positive. Lots of adults take regular fish oil to help brain development and it's supposed to help calm your brain waves. She thought it might help my DD focus and mellow a little. She has been on it a month and my DH and I have noticed a difference, my mom has too. Of course she still has some normal 4-year old behaviors like not listening, some meltdowns and mouthing off, but I think we are seeing a lot less of them. The ped did warn me that 4 is worse than 3 - huh!!!! She also said it takes about 3 months to reach a theraputic level. Anyway, that's what we are trying. I have also found that I really have to stick with following through with consequences.

I am very sorry to hear about your loss.

 

I don't have any advice, but just wanted to say I feel your pain. My boys are becoming challenging - not looking forward to discipline in the coming year!

You are not alone. I hear it gets better. My nephew was a real challenge at that age. He's now 7 and is a great kid and much easier to deal with!

Michelle

 

My oldest turned 4 on Wednesday and I truly hope the worse is over. She's always been a fairly easy and mellow child but 3s were hard (2s were a breeze). A lot has happened in terms of (international) moves over the past year, so I can't all blame it on her. Let's hope the 4s will be better!