temper tantrums at 3 months old?

My twins are 4 1/2 months old (3 months adjusted) and one of them is sweet as can be. The other one is a force to be reckoned with! He refuses to nap and when he misses a nap he throws full blown temper tantrums. I don't know what to do. The only thing that calms him down is being in a carrier or being outside. but I have another baby and I'm trying to keep them on the same schedule. It's not always possible to do what he wants to do. Is it too early to let him cry it out? I don't want him to run our house either, which I already feel like he is doing. HELP!

 

Here is how I handled those situations, I did what I had to do with one baby, and if the other one cried while they waited, so be it. I did not drive myself crazy trying to pacify both babies at the same time if it wasn't possible. If being in a carrier, swing, bouncy, etc, is what quieted my girls down, then that is what happened. A little crying while they wait is not going to hurt them. Now, as far as initiating full blown CIO, I think that is a little young, but there were many times that one baby cried while they waited because it was just impossible for me to handle them both at the same time. If the only place they would take a nap is in a swing, then that is where they went. I hated it, but for me it was more important to have a little peace then having them sleep in a certain place. We went through a period around that age where our girls would cry bloody murder every single night at the same time and we went into straight survival mode. My husband worked second, and many times it was just me and two screaming babies. I just did what I had to do, if someone passed by my house during that time there is no telling what they thought was happening. I just kept saying to myself, "this too shall pass"

 

I don't think I'd consider it a temper tantrum yet at that age But, if he's missing a nap, then what's happening is he's overtired, which is why he's a grouchy butt. He could be going through a growth spurt, which usually throws off their sleep, or starting to cut teeth (they can take months to come through), which can cause fussiness and sleep issues too. If he wants to be carried, then that's probably what I'd do right now. You can keep them on the same schedule still, feed them at the same time, try to settle them for naps at the same time, but if Mr. Fussypants needs to be carried to nap for awhile, go for it.

3 months is still pretty young for CIO. And at that age, they know nothing about deception, they aren't trying to "work the system" yet as such. They have needs, and crying is the only way to let you know something ain't right in their little world. It could be, as I said, growth spurt, over tired, teething, gas pains, colic....or something as simple as "Mama I need some cuddle time with you".

So try not to get yourself too upset, try to take a deep breath, and as Rachel said, repeat to yourself "this too shall pass". I wish I could go back and just take one more cuddle with each of my babies....that time really does pass by way too fast :wub:

 

"my" twins are 3 months, one month adjusted. I swaddle them, turn of a fan/noise machine, turn on the mobile and lay them in their crib. I let them CIO but I have not had them cry long and hard for a long time. I would try CIO if one was stubborn. I know that getting sleep is a big part of the twins being so happy I have heard that you can start full CIO at 3 months but the last baby I worked with his mom started him on CIO the day it got home from the NICU so he never knew any different. He is now 1 yr and sleeps 13+ hours a night and take a long afternoon nap. Sometimes you have to suffer through the CIO training in the beginning to make it easier in the future...maybe even easier in the next few days. I started sleep training the twins on Tuesday and they were sleeping at nap time 1.5-2.5 hours, 3 naps a day and sleeping 12 hours at night with waking for 2 feedings by the first day. I just decided that it was the right time and went with it. They have been super happy babies now that they are sleeping well He will run the house if you let him

 

I agree, if he sleeps in a carrier, put him in a carrier! My boys slept in swings for months.
Not to scare you, but my boys weren't fully on the same nap schedule until close to 6 months. I understand how badly you want them to sleep at the same time because that is all I wanted, too! I had many days where the naps were out of sync and even worse was when they tag teamed and I got no break at all.
It will get better! Hang in there!

 

My girls are totally not on the same nap schedule either. One takes a long nap in the morning, the other in the afternoon, and then they both take a few shorter naps throughout the day. Sometimes you just can't fight nature and you gotta do what works. Eventually I will try to sync them up a bit more but if I'm rarely going anywhere anyway... Don't feel like you have to entertain them every second they are awake, either. Let them hang out in the swing, look out the window or play in the baby gym by themselves sometimes while you get things done. And my Baby A sounds A LOT like your son. She's very very high needs, has screaming fits complete with tears and hiccuping, the works. Swaddling and pacifiers sometimes do the trick, my girl HATES the stroller when she's fussing. Sometimes putting her in the swing, swaddled and with a pacifier with the mobile and noise going can calm her down. Basically, I've learned that she can only stay up for 1.5-2 hours before she's had enough and if I don't get her ready to sleep around then she will dissolve into a tantrum. Trust me I know it's hard, but that seems a little young to CIO to me. I would give him another month or so to try and sort himself out and see where you are holding.