Tell me I am not a bad mom

For the past week Jack and Lily (who usually nap anywhere from 1 and 1/2 to 3 hours every hour and a half and eat every three hours) have been taking almost exactly 45 minute naps and wanting to eat every 2 hours. I have offered them larger bottles but they really are not even finishing the ones they have. Today, after they both tried to take another 45 minute nap, I checked their diapers, soothed them and put them back down. They are only 4 mos. so I made sure to stand by their cribs and rub their backs while they were crying/screaming wanting to get up. Although they did end up going back to sleep there was a lot of crying/screaming involved. The thing is, I could tell that they were dead tired.

Also, I find it creates this big problem when they get stuck in this weird schedule. Then they end up sleeping for 45 min. waking up and they still have 1 or 1 and 1/2 hours left until their next time to eat and that is exactly when they will be needing to go down again because they only last about an hour and fifteen minutes. It all gets messed up and eating time and napping time run into eachother KWIM? I cannot deal with it anymore and am wondering if this may be just a habit they have gotten into and if I encourage them to go back down after this 45 minute wake up for a couple of days maybe they will break out of it and return to their old nap schedule and to finishing their bottles. I think sometimes the nanny mistakes them still being tired for being hungry and then tries to feed them thinking they are hungry and they end up getting used to these 45 minute naps and eating half bottles every 2 hours.

Sorry to ramble. Basically, just tell me I am not a bad mom for "encouraging" them to go back down for their naps even if they are totally against it and that they will not remember that I let them cry and did not rescue them. I will only let them cry for five minutes and then I come back in and stand and pat their back or even just stand in the room and shhhhush them. They just get so darn mad and it takes all I have to stand their while Jack is turning red in the face and yelling at me thinking I am a terrible person for making him go back to sleep.

I can't be the only mother whose babies fight sleep like it was poison.

By the way, what the heck do you do when they start climbing out of their cribs and stuff...oh boy!

Amy

 

Amy,

You're not a bad mom! You're just doing what's necessary to ensure your babies get enough sleep and eat on a regular schedule. Everyone is happier that way. I'm actually having the same problem; all of a sudden my almost five month old twins will only nap for 30-45 minutes in the morning. There's no way I can get them to go back to sleep, so they're up. Then it's 2.5 hours until they eat again and they can't stay up for that long. I've been putting them in the car and running errands because the car puts them back to sleep. Today they ate at 8:20, fell asleep by 9, were up again at 9:30, we left for errands at 10, and they didn't fall asleep until I was driving home at 11:30. So now they're asleep at 12:20 and they should be eating at 12:30. Sigh.

In the afternoons they'll take a two hour nap, but I have to "shush" them back to sleep after one hour. If I can catch them in time (ie - within a minute or two of waking up), they'll go back to sleep. If not, they're awake.

So, long message... but my point is, you're not alone! And you're not a bad mom... you know your kids and if they need to sleep, they need to sleep!

 

(((((hugs))))) Sorry you are having a tough time! (I think it is the name "Jack" because my little Jack does the same thing!!) BTW - WAY of topic, my first choice for a girls' name was Lily!!! But, my niece's name is Lilly, so I couldn't...how funny!

Anyway, at 4 months, mine had weird sleeping schedules, too. You have to make it work for you at some point. I would not get too worried about the exact time you are feeding them or when they go down for naps. Just feed them every three hourse or so in the day (or maybe 4 hours, I cannot remember) and do not worry. As long as they are getting enough ounces in the day, it doesn't matter. Soon, you may want to try a wake, sleep, feed cycle. But, that comes in time. I remember at 4 months, my babies' naps were that short, too. It was all hectic...one would be sleeping, one would be up...

How are they sleeping at night? Are they making it for long stretches?

About the getting out of the crib, mine are 11 months and my DS (Jack) tries, but cannot do it. Bella doesn't even try yet. So, you have time!! lol!

Hang in there - it will get easier and you will see a natural cycle emerge.

 

Last week mine went through a phase of not wanting to finish their bottles then 2 hours later they would fuss. Don't know what to tell you on the nap thing. Mine still aren't consistent with that yet. About the bottle thing it kind of worked itself out on its own with the help of my mil. Mine always take a bottle during the night between 2 & 4 am. Usually 4oz sometimes 6oz. I have had my mil start feeding them at 8am, 12pm, & 4pm. 6oz at these feeding if possible. Then we will do a 4 to 6oz feeding at 7pm to 8Pm before bed. And by the way you are not a bad mom. If you were a bad mom you wouldn't be on here asking questions and trying to solve your babies problems.

Missy

 

It was right between about 4 and 6 months that we started to see a nap schedule emerge, and I did encourage it along! You are a good mommy!

 

Would it be easier if you tried going with a more flexible routine instead of a strict schedule? The way we do it is nap, feed, play, nap (repeat repeat repeat). Keeps things comforting and predictable for the babies, and that way I don't have to go nuts watching the clock. Whether they nap 45 min or 1.5 hrs, it's all good.

 

QUOTE(fuchsiagroan @ Sep 26 2007, 11:06 PM) [snapback]425009[/snapback]
Would it be easier if you tried going with a more flexible routine instead of a strict schedule? The way we do it is nap, feed, play, nap (repeat repeat repeat). Keeps things comforting and predictable for the babies, and that way I don't have to go nuts watching the clock. Whether they nap 45 min or 1.5 hrs, it's all good.



Does that mean that you feed at different time intervals...ie. meaning whenever they wake you feed them whether it has been 2 hrs. or 3 hrs. from their last feed? If so, do they finish their bottles each time?

Thanks for the help!
Amy

 

Amy, how old are your babies? My sons went through the same thing. They were up too much so they were tired. When they were tired they got hungry much faster. "Peckish" became starving within a short time! The good news is things worked themselves out with some dedication. My boys still eat regularly throughout the day (I know some people are on a 4-hour schedule but I know my boys will never be capable of that!) but they never act STARVING AS IF THEY HAVEN'T EATEN FOR A WEEK!!!!!! after just 2 hours anymore, thankfully!

 

QUOTE
Would it be easier if you tried going with a more flexible routine instead of a strict schedule? The way we do it is nap, feed, play, nap (repeat repeat repeat). Keeps things comforting and predictable for the babies, and that way I don't have to go nuts watching the clock. Whether they nap 45 min or 1.5 hrs, it's all good.



Does that mean that you feed at different time intervals...ie. meaning whenever they wake you feed them whether it has been 2 hrs. or 3 hrs. from their last feed? If so, do they finish their bottles each time?


Yes, I feed them at different intervals. It's usually about every 2.5 hrs, can be as little as 2 or as long as 3.5, depending how long their nap is. I BF, so I really don't know how it would work with bottle feeding! :blush: Maybe the bottle-feeding pros can give you some ideas. There was a time, though, that DS got mostly bottles, and there was a range of what he'd usually take. He'd always take at least 2 oz, and he'd never take more than 3 oz. Gradually that range started creeping upward, but by then he was transitioning to nursing anyway, so I don't know how it would be today.