tell me honestly... does it really get easier when they turn 1?

so, I always hear (from people who have heard it through the grapevine, and do not have twins themselves) that it gets easier after the first year. is this really true? I love my boys sooooo much!! but really it's just so HARD to take care of them (and the 3 older ones too) all by myself all day. I guess I just want to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. they just wear me out. just when I get one happy the other one is screaming his head off. but a lot of the screaming is hunger related. I imagine that it'd be better once they can feed themselves. but am I fooling myself? when did it get easier for you?

I'd love to hear how/if things changed for you after the first year?
thanks
Michelle

 

YES!! I think they got easier around 11mo or so. They are much more adaptable and easy to care for, IMO. They are playing more with toys (giving me moments of peace it the day), eating and sleeping better... All make for a happier mommy. Now, that being said... I only have one walking right now. I was just telling someone the other day how I kept saying "if I can just make it to one year old, it's all going to get easier..." not thinking about having two babies running in two different directions. Haven't come to that yet, so YES, I think mommying them has gotten easier.

Hang in there!!!

Stacy

 

My theory is this..every stage has its pros and cons. I do think at one I was able to get out and do things more. They were more adaptable, but then other things creep up.
Right now I have a 4 year old boy and 2 year old twins. I think my one 4 year old is more work than my twins. LOL
It is VERY VERY nice though when they feed themselves, can hold their own bottle and esp when they are on milk and will take sippies! That is by far the thing that made life seem easier! So for that reason, yes, around one, it does seem easier!

 

I feel like it's easier, but you have to understand that in someways it's one battle exchanged for another. For instance, I don't have to lug them around anymore, worry about who pooped or who didn't eat enough (as much), or worry about what they need b/c they can usually communicate it pretty clearly. They can play self sufficiently and move about on their own; while on the other hand, they now fight alot, have tantrums, throw food, and are more demanding about their wants when they express them. But I feel like these problems are a lot less stressful overall than the infant problems were. It probably helps that my back isn't breaking anymore from the weight of carrying them everywhere!

 

I feel like it got easier around the 14 month mark for us. They started walking later and now are a little more independent. But, like the past posts have said, there are other challenges we face. I would have to say our major challenge with my boys now is their fighting over toys and their molars coming in on the bottom. They seem to be alittle crabby. Hang in there.

 

Yes, it does get easier, especially physically for you. Emotionally, it gets a little more complex each stage of my kids life. My oldest is starting Jr High this year, yahoo! We are enjoying the teenage mutant syndrome at our house, along with the post toddler stubborn tw-independence fest! :8714bumper:
It does get better and you start to feel less abused, once they get a little bit of independence. Coming from a two is better than one stance, my twins were easier than my singleton. He was a handful because he was an only child until he was 8. The twins play together and have tons of fun without me now and have since they were about 1 1/2. :banana:

 

I haven't read pp but I will say yes. Every month after 1 got easier and easier for me. Once they can walk really well, that got easier because I could pick one up out of the crib and then the other and they could follow me to get their bottles etc. Once they can feed themselves, that got easier because I could eat while they were eating. I noticed after the first birthday they really do start playing more and entertaining themselves and each other. Hang on, it really does get easier!

Sidenote. Something that really did make it easier for me was to make "play yard livingrooms" we have one upstairs and one downstairs. They are completely baby proofed and I can actually get dishes done, laundry etc. without needing to have a beady eye on them every second.

My friends with singletons tell me stories of how they chase theirs around the house all day long...I can't imagine!

 

As a pp said, I think there are pros and cons to each stage-- right now with all the tantrums and "I do it mommy" I am wishing they were little again and couldn't speak stage. But then there are the moments where they hold your hands, listen to everything you say, give loves, can communicate there wants and needs, you don't have to deal with a bottle or baby food anymore, can feed themselves, sleep through the night moments-- where you go awe--- this is nice!

I try and take it week by week now!

 

As my guys near 3, I seriously think the infant days were a piece of cake!

Of course, there are days when the 3's are a piece of cake, so honestly... every phase is just as difficult or trying as the next.

 

The biggest plus is definitely them playing by themselves more. At about 18 mos. or so they started interacting with each other more. They do fight a lot but overall if I keep an eye on them they will play for 10 minutes or so at a time without needing my attention, so that's really nice. You just have to be ready to break up a fight at a moment's notice. We have a small, fenced in backyard where they can go in and out by themselves and they play out there a lot when the weather's nice. When they start talking they're a lot more fun to interact with. The tantrums really haven't been too bad yet!

 

Um... NO! Sorry to be the cowplop in a field of happy daisies but for me the second year has been much more challenging than the first. There was the mega teething with nighttime waking, the tantrum phase, the fighting the stroller phase, throwing all of your food on the floor phase, the climbing phase, the naked phase, and the too young to potty train but old enough to paint with poop phase (note that most of these phases haven't ended yet and have been going on for months). We haven't even hit the "terrible twos" yet. We did have a little honeymoon phase when they were first able to walk well and not yet realizing how much they could now get into and they would play well together for a while. Then all heck broke loose.

Don't get me wrong, I love the little boogers and the communication is much better now but as others have said, it's all a matter of each stage having its own challenges and each kid is different. I just have some very special toddlers.

 

18-24 months was the hardest for me. I didn't think I'd survive! The sleep deprivation was really hard that first year, but the second half of that second year made me think that the "terrible two's" described that second year, not when they actually turned 2. By 24 months they were finally communicating well, and had the physical strength and coordination to do the things they wanted to, so their frustration went way down and they went back to being happy, fun kids.

Hang in there. There are challenges ahead, but take comfort knowing that they really will pass, and it does get easier and a lot more fun!

 

I can't say diffinatively that it gets better for every single mother as soon as their kids hit 1 but I can tell you for me, EVERY single month gets easier and easier. Yes 1 year was easier for me than 11 months, an 13 months has been easier than 12 and so on. They are just learning more and more. They are comprehending more and more which really really makes things sooooooooo much easier. They are also learning words to communicate certain things and don't always cry for EVERYTHING anymore. They are finally finding other ways to tell me their needs. So I truly believe that it will get easier. Hang in there!!

 

Definatly got better after they turned 1!!! I was able to get things done during the day at my own pace like laundry, cooking good meals, etc while they are awake rather then trying to get them done on their 30 minute cat naps. And it is too cute to see my little girls toddling around the house

 

I have to say its not easier either - I have 2 VERY needy toddlers that I can't leave go of for one second of the day - if I start to do something I need (or want) to do, one wants to be held and then the other one so consequently my house is a sh!thole all the time worse than it ever was - and I can't figure out what they want to do or play with or eat - some days I just want to scream in frustration....I'd have to say that from 6 mos to a year was the best time for me....

oh well - this too shall pass....

 

Yes, yes, yes a million times yes.

Not only did it get easier, but it got way more fun. Around 12-13 months, it was like they suddenly realized there was more to the world than whatever room they happened to be in at the moment. They started remembering things, noticing things, enjoying things.

It got a lot better when they were both walking -- just logistically easier. I know everyone says "just wait till they run in different directions," and yes, that does happen sometimes. But what happens much more often is that you go someplace with one, and the other one follows. You don't have to carry one from the nursery to the living room, set her down (and make her scream), and then go back for the other one. You can say "bath time!" and they both come running and start tearing off their clothes.

Some things are definitely more challenging now (although I don't think they started kicking in until about 18 months -- things like tantrums). But overall, I guess it seems easier to me because it's just BETTER. Maybe I am just not a baby person. But I'd happily trade all the peaceful sitting-on-the-floor play that they did at 6 months (even though that was nice) for the language explosion, looking at flowers, splashing in the pool, and fun stuff that they can do now.

 

So I have been thinking about your question, and I think it depends on the day. For the moment we have had a good day, so I will say yes it get's easier. But it also get's different. I have two VERY spirited and intense children, they don't take no for an answer and they always want to do it themselves. They are constantly trying our patience. They haven't been good sleepers since they have been born and they have health issues that still prevent them from sleeping through the night or nap well (if they nap at all). So it still feels like I haven't reaped some of the benefits of having older children (ie. sleep through the night, take a decent nap, follow directions well, have decent self help skills, ect). And since I have two very spirited kids they fight a lot so I am often breaking up fights. At least when they were infants, if they were crying and unhappy, I wasn't physically hurting them in any way to leave the room for two min to go to the bathroom. Now if I go pee, I might end up with one child with a large bite mark, toys thrown out the window (no kidding, they opened the windows and the screens from the upper level of the house, good thing they didn't throw themselves out), a wrestling match, ect. I really can't leave them alone for very long at all. That being said, they do feed themselves, they can usually tell me what they want, they help clean up occasionally (although they are always the one's making the mess), they give great hugs if they feel like it, and they can make me laugh at times (but often make me scream in frustration too). So, in answer to your ? - it depends on your kids and their temperments. Mine were very difficult infants, never slept well at all screamed all the time, didn't eat well, had health issues then (still do, but more managable now), so it had to get better. So . . . it depends on where you are coming from!!!

 

It did get easier at 1 years old in this sense: they switched from formula to whole milk so I could just reach straight into the fridge instead of warming, measuring, and mixing. It also made it easier to go out with the kids since I could buy whole milk just about anywhere instead of lugging formula from home everytime we went out. It also got easier because they could feed themselves more and could eat more variety of foods. But the biggest difference for me was when they got sick. They developed more resistance to common germs so they would sometimes just get the "sniffles" instead of going through the whole "fever, vomiting, diarrea" routine.

But I think it gets SIGNIFICANTLY easier after the kids are 2 years old. When my kids started playing with each other for long periods of time, I finally had time to do normal human things like read a magazine, watch tv, chat on the phone, etc.

 

I would say....yes but it is short lived. About 18 months it gets hard again. Then 2 seems great and then uphill to 3 challenging, same was true from 3 - 4. For us the 2nd part of every year seems to be a challenge.

 

I keep waiting for it to get easier, and mine turned one on the 4th of July!

Everyone kept telling me it gets easier after the 1st year. Obviously this was from people who have never had twins and have no clue what it's like.
I finally got an honest answer not too long ago from a father of 10 yr old twin boys. He said he noticed a significant change around age 3. In my experience so far, I thought that sounded believable.

It's mostly like a trade off. In some little ways it has gotten easier, and in a lot more ways it has gotten harder. You go from one stage into the next....like no more bottles, but now they are climbing....

Just take one day at a time. They grow up fast and before you know it, you will just look back and agree with others and say to yourself "that was hard and I don't know how I did it, but I did."

 

Michele -- we're on that 6 month rotation too. Realizing that they're coming (and will pass) has made the difficult phases easier to get through.

I do think that 3 is a watershed birthday. The discipline becomes more of an issue after 3, but the fun quotient goes way up. To put it in some perspective, I just took my boys camping by myself for 2 weeks this summer. But about 5 years ago, I could barely go 3 hours without some kind help!

 

I am going to be the big downer and say that IMO NO it doesn't get easier, much harder though They aren't babies anymore, they want to be independant but they are still too young to do things on their own (some things). I am always telling people that the infant days were peice-o-cake compared to now, they would just lay on the floor and play with toys (and not get into things), they weren't fighting then, they took 2 naps a day, etc. However, I will say that they are much more fun now than the infant stages. Each age has its ups and downs.

 

I think it just changes. They are more able to do lots of things for themselves, like walk and eat. But the tantrums start, and the fighting starts. Though they walk to the car themselves they throw a fit when they're tired of being in the car. They can tell you what they want and that's great and mine had all their teeth around 10-11 months so the teething is done, but they throw a fit when it's time to stop brushing their teeth. Stuff like that. But I would say the stress level does go down. They're so interactive and fun at this age.

 

NO NO NO NNOOOOOOOO! just different. ok you may sleep more at night but you run a marathon all day! i have 5 kids and i have to say that this is the hardest it has been. i hope that 2 is a little better. good thing they are so damn cute!

 

I wouldn't say that easier is the right word. I think I agree with pp, in that every stage has it's own set of challenges. They do start to be more independent at that age, but with that comes it's own set of problems. Ours are 2.5 and I long for that first year. I really loved being a mom during that time, I always felt like I was doing a great job with them. Now I feel like they can be so difficult and it often makes me feel like I'm just not a good enough mom. It's also harder to leave the room, even for a short period of time. I never can tell what I am coming back to. So the things that get easier are the sleeping through the night and having them be more active in their care.

 

ummm... you guys are no help! lol

I have 3 older singletons, so I know every stage is different. I've lived through MANY different stages up through age 7. I just think it'll be easier when I don't have to carry 2 babies who are both screaming their heads off. I just want them to play together, and not scream so much, and feed themselves. is that asking so much?

thanks for the replies. I think I'll just choose to live in my fantasy world where they play happily all day and take a nap after lunch once they turn one. I love that idea! I'll let ya know how close it comes to my dream whe we get there!
Michelle

 

I don't think it's gotten any easier. Some things have, but they're cancelled out by other things that have gotten harder.

 

QUOTE
My theory is this..every stage has its pros and cons. I do think at one I was able to get out and do things more. They were more adaptable, but then other things creep up.


I agree with this statement. However, I think, and still LOVED the infant stage. At that age, I was able to put them in a playpen, contained!

But, now, there is no more formula, less dipaer changes etc. Plus, I can take them anywhere and they will have a good time....parks, museums, zoos ect. This age is hard for me (2.5), but I love it...I love watching them learn.

 

I guess it depends on what stage you like best. For me, it got worse when they got mobile (14-16 months) and improved greatly the closer we got to 2. I think 2-4 are the very best years, but then I adore preschoolers. When people ask, I tell them 12-18 months was the most trying time for me with twins, because they were mobile but didn't understand "no," they were too young for discipline, they still couldn't communicate to me what they needed, and we had to babyproof and gate everything. And it was hard to take them anywhere because they always had to be strapped into the stroller for fear they'd take off in different directions. It gets easier the more independent and verbal they get.

 

I agree with the above post (now...my experience is with singletons)...but each stage has its pros and cons...right now....I feel that the twinners are easier than my teenagers!! And then again....it depends on the moment!!

Bottom line for me....it's all good!!! Hold on to them tight....my oldest is applying for college......Yikes....

And last night....Grace woke up around 2 for a nursing...and when she saw me...she hugged me and it was the best feeling in the world...so...even though I was up in the middle of the night....it was AWESOME!!!

 

IMO, 15-24 months are challenging. They want to be independent, but not quite able to be. A little too young to understand discipline, but getting into everything. Frustrations over not being able to communicate their wants effectively, generally lead to tantrums and acting out.

I love my kiddos and wouldn't trade even the worst day with anyone just because I know that each phase is just that and it does get better. Then worse. and so on and on.

 

NO !!!! Mine are almost 16 months, and it has not gotten easier. The challenges only change. Realistically, I don't expect it to get better until they are 4, which really scares me, but I know it's realistic.