tantrums

I hope someone has a good method because I'm at my whits end. DS who is almost 18 months throws the nastiest most embarrassing temper tantrums, due to anything from not wanting to be picked up to wanting something his sister has, to not wanting his shoes off, etc. He will literally throw himself on the floor, sometimes smacking his head and will roll around screaming. Today, I dropped him off a daycare and he literally slinky-ed his way across the floor and through the gate because he was mad I took a cookie out of his hand to take his coat off. I tried giving the cookie back and he had a bigger fit. I'm ready to give him away. I've tried ignoring him, but I'm not sure it's working - and he does it EVERYWHERE!! Help!!

 

:hug: Tantrums are rough. My DS was a champion tantrum thrower and our best method was to make sure he was safe and ignore him to the best of our ability. It seemed like the less reaction DH & I showed, the faster the tantrum ended. I also read The Happiest Toddler on the Block where he talks about using Toddler-ese on them (like for his tantrum today, you might have said, I want cookie, I want cookie-verbalizing what you thought he was upset about until he started to calm down and then you explain, When your coat is off, you can have a cookie)...that method has been hit or miss with my kids.

 

I agree with everything Nancy said. :good: Ignoring the tantrum is what worked/works best for my two. Also with the cookie, like Nancy said make sure to verbalize what is going on. You know you are going to give it back but in their minds you took it away. :wacko: I know for me it was also happening if they asked for, say, some water. I'd walk to get them the water but didn't say anything and they didn't know and start a tantrum. :faint: Once I was more verbal with what I was doing it did help matters. :hug: :hug:

 

I'm in the same situation as you. I'm really trying to be consistent with ignoring even if its REALLY bad. Its so hard, but I figure it is the most logical way to deal with it. I tried redirection, time out etc, all made it worse. Ignoring has working to a slight extent which is better than the others. But I agree, it is totally embarrassing!

 

Max is still throwing great tantrums but they are getting less frequent as he gets older. I do exactly what the other pps have suggested. I think it's just time that is needed! Hang in there.

 

I agree with what everyone else has said. I have one tantrum thrower and what helps him is when I let him do things for himself. I can't carry him to the car....he needs to walk. He needs to put all of our shoes and coats away and close the door. It's actaully pretty nice that he's wanting to becomoe more independent.

Also verbalizing helps A LOT. I tell them both what we are doing and also ask them to help.

But when tantrums happen, I just ignore them. At times I go one step further and will walk away. I've had my one son on the ground crying....stop...turn to see if I'm looking and make eye contact and then continue crying. If I leave the room he does not have an audience,it stops pretty quickly.

 

Thanks for the responses! I've been verbalizing (I'm going to fill your cup up with more juice, mama will be RIGHT back..) WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH flailing and rolling around. Ugh - maybe he doesnt quite get that yet, as he was 6 weeks early. I guess I'll just have to toughen up and ignore him and surround everything in foam!! He did it again when I picked him up from daycare - he just didnt want to leave and we had somewhere I had to be, so I just had to pick him up, said mama has an important appointment we need to leave for and put him in his seat. Raffi playing helped a little too. I cant wait for this to be over. When this junk starts first thing in the morning, it really puts an edge in your day.

 

i ttoally love happiest toddler, too. it's hard to get used to the suggestions but they really are helpful..... one other thing, though it might not be anything. but, the sugar thing. does he eat much of it? cuz i was just thinking if he's having a cookie in the morning that could be setting him off.....? just a thought. i've heard there's no concrete evidence about sugar really effecting moods and stuff, but as a first grade teacher for 17 years i could ALWAYS tell who'd had donuts, cookies or even breakfast cereal (aka--lots of sugar!) in the morning.

best of luck! tantrums are no fun.

 

I agree with everything that has been said.
We do a form of timeout when it gets too bad. Just put them in the crib and say you can come out when you are done. Tends to help for a little bit

 

Never thought of the sugar thing... I give them (once in a while) a Toddler mum-mum which I think is lower sugar than a normal cookie - I havent noticed a difference then, but maybe it does have something to do with how much he eats. Today, they ate a horrible lunch (all they'd eat was fruit), and by 3pm, he was a terror. I'm ignoring it more, paying more attention to dd when he starts having a fit, and I think it may be working. I'm going to check into the Happiest Toddler. May be well worth it!! Thanks everyone!!