Tantrums (almost 16 months old)

My DS has started to throw some major tantrums over everything and anything. I´ve noticed it´s got considerably bad since starting nursery 2 weeks ago but the last 3 or 4 days have been really tough. He´s even taken to screaming to get my attention to which I tell him calmly "saying mama is enough".

My reactions have been varied. If it´s a one off, I will hold him as he seems to like this. As he arches his back and throws himself backwards, the reason for me holding him is so he doesn´t knock himself out/do himself an injury. If he doesn´t want to be held, I make sure he´s lying down safely. Other times I´ve ignored him and recently Ive been putting him in his crib for a few moments leaving him to scream as Ive needed the break, then gone back. I´ve even tried staying with him but it doesnt seem to help.

I always reassure him that I love him, that I understand his frustrations but the truth is Im exhasuted by it. Yesterday he had a bad morning and a good afternoon. Today it was the opposite way round. I thought it may have been due to his nap changes (to fit into nursery) but he had a good 3 hour nap today and woke up in a bad mood. I guess it´s just his age and being a toddler...

So my question is, how do you deal with tantrums & what´s worked for you?

TIA

 

:hug: Gotta love toddler tantrums!! :grr: <---- perfect! exactly what they look like. :laughing:

What I did/do is ignore them. Make sure they are in a safe area where they can't do any harm to themselves and let them have at it. Once they see you really don't care, it'll shorten. :good: That worked great for my two. I didn't try to talk to them during the tantrum because it proved useless since they were already in the "zone" and nothing I said helped.

:hug: Good luck!!

 

Toddler tantrums are rough :hug: I did the same as Liz, I would ignore them and make sure that they were in a safe place as well. My DS has worse tantrums then my DD and I would say they reached their worst at 16 months. It does get better. Hang in there!

 

:hug: I'm right behind you. I'm not sure there's anything you can do besides making sure he is safe.

 

Last week I was watching Prime Time Family Secrets. It was about kids out of control. The one Dr. said they best way to handle tantrums is to walk out of the room. Once they see there is no audience, the tantrum usually ends. I tried it the next morning and it worked! Jake started up in the kitchen and I walked into the living, out of his sight and he stopped in less than a minute. When I walked back in he started up again and I walked away and again the crying stopped. Now if we are in the same room, I will bring the tantrum thrower upstairs and put them in the time-out area until he calms down.

Prior to that I would just ignore them when we were in the same room. I've even noticed them having a tantrum, stop...look up to see if I'm looking and start to cry again.

The problem I've having is how to address their developmental therapist. She will play into it and will talk to them in this annoying voice "ohhhhhh Jake....what is wrong.....why are you soooooo sad???" I tell her that I ignore that behavior but she does not feel that is they way to handle it.

 

We ignore it at our house too. We dont give positive or negative reinforcement. We simply act as if its not happening and then go do an activity with the other child who isnt behaving in such a way.
Normally when the tantrum thrower seems me doing an activity with their bro/sis they quickly stop and come get interested in what we are doing.

Other times DD specifically will do things like slam her head into the wall on purpose to try and get a reaction from me. I ignore it and when she is all done I say " wow, it really hurts when you hit your head huh" and then I continue on.
The head hitting stopped pretty quick with that approach.

 

Same here! Good luck!

 

When they're that young I tend to try distracting them at the start of the tantrum. Quite often I can stop them that way and not have to deal with the tantrum at all-lookinng out the window or in a mirror works very well here. When distracting doesn't work then I do the same as pp's; make sure they're safe and then ignore them (I think holding him to keep him safe, in the cases where you feel it's warrented, is fine too).

Good luck!

 

Thanks everyone for your replies. My DS follows me when he has a tantrum so sometimes its hard to ignore! Just wanted to know what you did so that´s reassured me. Thank you!

 

We are going through the same thing here. I sometimes have to go into the bathroom and shut the door, just to get away from the constant whining/crying. I think ignoring is the best approach and leaving the room if you can. I also try to redirect/distract them. The worst tantrums are when I'm sitting on the couch. They both want to get and sit on my lap or play/jump around. Abby fell off the other day and hit her head. Of course, it didn't stop her from doing it again. I made a rule that they have to sit or they get down. I swear we could play that game all day. I usually end up getting up and sitting on the floor or walk around. I can't wait for this phase to pass. Hang in there. It has to get better, right?

 

Hi there, yes it has to get better. Please god! DS had a great day yesterday (Just aswell as I was alone with them all day long!) but he had a good scream this morning. He got the message that wasnt the way to go. They are so clever! We´ll get there!