Survived Circumcision Correction

I know a couple of you are either having or contemplating having this done with your boys so unless you really want to hear a non-sugar-coated account of the situation....PLEASE DON'T READ!

I was most afraid of them taking the boys away and them screaming hysterically and reaching out for me saying mama over and over again. This didn't happen. They took them away and they never made a peep. The procedure was SUPER quick - 20 minutes or so. When they called us back for Braxton (who went first), he was very disoriented and VERY upset. He was sobbing, not a cry I've heard from him since he was a tiny guy. I got to nurse him immediately but just as I got him to calm down, they wheeled Caleb in! My husband tried to soothe him but of course in a stiuation like that no one will do except mama. So I had to leave Braxton to be with Caleb which sent Braxton into an even worse fit than when he first woke up. This went on back and forth until we left after about 15 minutes. They cried in the car as well but by the time we got home they were better. I just sat in the rocker and held both of them in my lap for as long as they wanted to. They wanted nothing to do with DH poor guys. Everything went fine yesterday (the day of the surgery) and today, but this evening we had to take off their bandages. This is where you should stop reading if you're having this done any time soon.

First of all, they screamed bloody murder as we removed them. Second of all, it looked so painful I could barely stand to handle it. Ok, I'm not giving any more details but they were pretty upset. I lied with them in bed until after 8 when they began to get drowsy. I even did a bedtime nursing session (haven't done one in months). They went to sleep fine, but had some trouble finding a position that didn't make them uncomfortable down there. When we laid them down and went downstairs I burst into tears and haven't been the same since. I hate seeing them in pain. I can't even begin to explain the guilt I feel for going through with this. I know it will have benefits in the long run but right now I'd give anything to just go back to yesterday and change my mind. It's the first thing I've ever regretted as a mom and it really hurts. I thought I knew what mommy guilt felt like but apparently I did not. I've thrown everything that could even remotely remind me of this experience in the trash. I don't ever want to think about it again. I would love to think that in time this will be a distant memory but right now I feel like every time I change their diaper or see their penis I'll remember these feelings and hate myself for this. I know they're fine and going to be fine and I have to keep reminding myself of this fact. They were playing and laughing and kissing each other when we were lying in bed tonight so I know they're ok. I just shouldn't have taken those bandages off. I should have let my husband do it. I'm sorry if I've scared you guys. Please don't let this affect your decision. Please read all the other posts that say how easy it was. I KNOW I'm feeling this way because DH and I were not really in agreement about the situation. And most of my close friends are from a culture that leaves their boys intact so they were no support either. I really have no one I can talk to about this nor would I want to discuss it in person. Just please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

 

I just wanted to say that they will be fine. Don't feel guilty! As for what happened when they woke up, that is actually a pretty normal reaction coming out of anesthesia. Jonathan spent an extra hour in recovery because he was having so much trouble with waking up. In a week or so, you will forget the trauma and be glad that you did it now, when they won't remember any of it.

 

:hug: Big, big, big hugs coming your way! If I lived closer I'd let you cry on my shoulder, then take you out to see a good movie. It will be ok. :hug:

 

:hug: It will be ok....

 

:hug: Everything will be better soon! Take Care of yourself & your little ones.

 

Oh God. I'm soo sorry and kinda scared but I know I'll get through it too. It's sucky but we have no choice, really.

I am like you "never should have done IT in the first place!" Why. DH isn't circ'd so why did we do it? No clue. Peer pressure.

anyway, what's done is done.

In 4 days, this will be a memory. Stay strong. Give them lots o pain meds!!

Hugs!! It sounds like you're doing EVERYTHING right! Good Mommy!

 

Oh, hon! I am so, so sorry you're feeling this way. Unfortunately we make a lot of choices as parents that we regret...

I won't pretend it's the same thing, but when I couldn't make breastfeeding work, I felt an awful lot of guilt, regret, and just plain despair. I could've written posts that sounded like yours. The guilt and regret will probably always be there on some level, but I'm happy to report that my babies are thriving, and the despair is gone.

Your little ones will be just fine, as you know. I hope in time, you'll feel a lot better, too. Huge hugs to you...

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ Oct 4 2008, 05:35 AM) [snapback]1011208[/snapback]
As for what happened when they woke up, that is actually a pretty normal reaction coming out of anesthesia. Jonathan spent an extra hour in recovery because he was having so much trouble with waking up.

This is actually how I react when coming out of anesthesia, too. It is very normal.

As for the guilt, it will pass. I know that seems easy to say, but they will be fine and, in the long run, better off for it. It is the trauma of the experience that has left you emotionally drained.

 

:hug: I don't have boys, but I do know that it will get better and the guilt will fade.

 

I'm sorry it was so traumatic! I'm sure that ANY procedure would be traumatic and that it is worse guilt being that it's on their boy parts! :hug: They won't remember and you'll learn to live with it. I hope you will ALLOW yourself to get over the guilt. It serves NO purpose and you can't change anything. I hope in time, you'll let it go! It's not going to help you make better decisions in the future. You need to give yourself permission to let go! :hug:

I hope they continue to heal like the 1 yr. olds usually do! FAST!!! :hug:

 

Oh I'm so sorry that you're feeling guilty! I have girls, so I can't totally relate, but when they were 4 months old Isabel had to have a broncoscopy (sp?) and when they were trying to get an iv in her she was just screaming....I was thisclose to picking her up and saying forget it and get away from my baby!!

HUGS!

 

:hug: Thats how i felt after the actual circumcision. I asked DH why did we do this!!! It looks so horrible and swollen!! I just cried and cried in the Hospital.
:hug: I hope they feel better soon!

 

sending hugs your way, larami

they will bounce back quickly and be just fine, and i hope you will come to terms with your decision that it was the RIGHT thing to do--they will be better off for the price of this one bad day....you're a GREAT mom, and i think the guilt is a totally normal reflection of that

:hug:

 

QUOTE(sharongl @ Oct 4 2008, 02:35 AM) [snapback]1011208[/snapback]
As for what happened when they woke up, that is actually a pretty normal reaction coming out of anesthesia.


QUOTE(~* dfaut *~ @ Oct 4 2008, 08:10 AM) [snapback]1011437[/snapback]
I'm sorry it was so traumatic! I'm sure that ANY procedure would be traumatic and that it is worse guilt being that it's on their boy parts! :hug:



When my oldest son had his tonsils out at 3yrs he was a mess when he came out of anesthesia. I was heartbroken. I also worried about him screaming for me going in (which he didn't, he was fine) but I was not prepared for what happened after.


I think the hardest part about elective surgery is that we can't see into the future to know if the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. I am certain that you are a loving, caring, wonderful Mom and every decision that you make is with love in your heart! That is what your boys feel. That is what they will remember. They have amazing parents that care for them deeply.

Hang in there! :hug:

 

I am sure you will find a way to make peace with this; however, I hope it is sooner rather that later. You are obviously a fantastic mom and your boys are lucky to have you!

 

Hey there,
Just wanted to offer a hug! Just remember your boys won't even remember this and if and when you discuss it later on they will still LOVE YOU!!!! Take care!

Angie

 

Big hugs :hug: .... you're a great mom. I'm sorry this was so hard.

 

:hug: to you, Larami! Please don't be too hard on yourself. I know that is MUCH easier said than done. My heart breaks with you as a mom for the painful feelings you are experiencing right now, and I can only imagine what it must be like. Even so, I know your boys will be fine and you should not be upset with yourself. You made this decision with your boys' best interest at heart... no one could ever ask for more than that. You are an amazing mom.

 

Ditto the pps that said this is a totally normal reaction to coming out of anesthesia. Both my boys had surgeries for ingunial hernia. We had it done at a children's hospital, and they said pretty much ALL the kids coming out of anesthesia cry, are really upset, and act kind of crazy while coming out of it. Both my boys were beside themselves for nearly a half hour afterwards. According to the nurses, it's because they feel disoriented.

Please don't beat yourself up! I agree with Dianne - any surgery would be difficult for you and because this is their boy parts, it seems much worse. But you are doing what's best for them and they heal SO quickly at this age. I'm sure it's much worse for you than it is for them. :hug:

Michelle

 

I haven't read any of the responses, but my brother at the age of 2 went through this. His bandages were changed in the tub (water). It helped. I don't know if yours are able to do that... but it certainly helped my brother. :hug:

 

:hug:

 

(I already returned your PM before I came into the forums, so this may be duplicate...I can't remember !!!!)

Aiden had this same surgery done late August. I HATED the coming out of anesthesia & can't FATHOM having to deal with 2 of them at once (I'm surprised the hospital allowed you to do 2 that consecutively). I cried right along with him !

Overall, our recovery was easy, I won't lie. Aiden was tumbling with Conner just that night (while DH & I winced..LOL). He slept great, ate great, & did great. A little extra snuggly & napped more, but that's it. We didn't even use the prescription pain meds he was prescribed.

Diaper changes were horrible. I regretted doing the surgery every time I had to change him. But within a few days, it was all a distant memory & things were back to normal (except for the stitches & "new look", obviously!). I, personally, did not have to deal with any bandages since Aiden didn't come home with any. I'm sure that'd be traumatic for them & you .

Anyways, hang in there. You'll all be ok. They won't remember this & hopefully you'll start to forget the worst of it just as I already have!!!!

 

Hugs- they sound like they are already on the mend. Laughing and playing in bed- it will all be ok. :hug:

 

:hug:

My 9 yr old had to have the same thing done at about the same age - OH I remember feeling the exact same way!! Now though, I am so glad we had it redone. You and your boys are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

just sending big hugs your way. I hope your little boys heal quickly and you can put all of this past you soon.