Super Nanny's Discipline Techniques vs 123 Magic

I've been using 123 Magic since my boys were about 22 months old (they are now 27 months).

After an exhusting day yesterday (see my Time Outs in Public post) I've been rethinking my discipline techinique.

With 123 Magic you give the 2 warnings and then put them in a time out without an explination. After it's over you don't say a thing either.

I was on Super Nanny's website and came across The Naughty Mat Technique and might give this a try.

I think by explaining why they are being put there may work better for my boys. Yesterday it almost turned into a game for them with the constant counting and time outs.

And honestly, it did not work. I swear I put each of them in numerous time outs for flushing my sisters toilet. :drown:

At home, 123 Magic works fairly well, but when we are out I feel like I'm counting to myself. :headbang: Maybe it's their age or maybe I need another form of discipline. :crazy:

Has anyone had success with the Super Nanny Technique?

 

I combine the two techniques. :good: I do the 1-2-3 counting part but I also explain to them why they are in time out, do the sorry and hugs and kisses. It's been working for us, but of course, there are times no matter how much we went through it, it wasn't. :grr:

It could be the age, but it can't hurt to change things around and try it. GL!! :hug:

 

I sort of do a combination of both. When they are doing something (that they don't clearly know they shouldn't be doing) I'll tell them what it is I need/want them to stop doing or start doing. I tell them what I'll count to (when they were barely 2 I always counted to 3 so I didn't confuse them) and what the consequence will be if I get to that number. Then afterward we will sometimes talk about it (at 2 it was a quick sentence about why they received the consequence and a hug). If it's a natural consequence, they threw their crackers off the tray/table somewhere they floor was dirty when I had warned them what would happen, I'd remind them why they didn't have any crackers and leave it at that. For me, I find that I take several different styles/ideas and mesh them into something that works for me and the particular child. Nothing works for all five children without being tweaked in some way.

 

I pretty much do a combo of both techniques too. We do briefly explain why they are being put in time out.

Yours are still pretty young. This combo method was definitely a work in process when mine were that age.

 

I have to say that I combine the two techniques as well. I usually give them a warning "if you don't stop X, you will get a TO". If they don't stop then I start counting. If I count them out, then I do explain again why I am putting them in a TO. This seems to work for us.

 

I haven't really read about either system, but I guess I do some of both. I count to 3, and if TO is an appropriate consequence they go to TO. When I get them out of TO, I always give them a big hug and a kiss and say, "I love you. Do you know why you were in time out?" They never answer (still too upset), so I fill in for them: "You were in TO because ____. Please don't do that again. OK?" And they always say "OK!" And we're back to playing happily.

 

I just got the magic 123 book, and was actually quite surprised that you dont TALK to the children at all with it!! So, I use counting, but with a very short explanation. I say "if you do ___ you will have a timeout" then I say "1...2....3" and if they get to 3 then I just put them off to the side (no toys and no interaction). I do follow the 123 magic rules or no emotion, as I find that works really well in our house. And, once timeout is over, I do a very short explanation "no hitting other people, that hurts and makes them sad, say sorry to ___". And then I give them a hug and it is forgotten about.

I realize that kids are like little cavemen, and talking TOO much and bargaining with young toddlers doesn't work, but I believe strongly that you need to talk to your children (all be it age-appropriate). I can see a use with not talking to the children if the kids are older and tend to just argue, and if the "act" that sent them to timeout is very obvious, but otherwise I would always do a short explanation.

So, I say yes, try a combo of the approaches! My friend here does the same thing as me, but her son was happy to be in timeout, and he woudl sit there and sing. So, she modified it a bit, and now he has to face the wall when he is in timeout, and that has TOTALLY transformed timeouts into something that her son does NOT want to do. So, play around with it a bit and see how it goes.

good luck!

 

I read that twin book "ready or not here they go" and I have STACKS of other parenting books. I think some words that she said really seemed to ring true to me. She found for most twin moms that really the 1,2,3 thing didn't work amazingly well (especially the further they get into 2.5- 3 yr age). She said she heard a different way to look at time-outs. She heard to look at time outs like a "Time out in sports" you get benched. A quick short explaination and back out onto the rink. And for the most part this is the way that it seems things are going. My twins dont' "work together" like other twins so I don't have that issue. There I can see how divide and conquer is necessary. Those pack and plays really are sooooo small and while they may be one more thing you dont' want to bring along to your sisters ..... heck or a booster chair with straps so you can attach it to a kitchen chair. Time outs you are in the pnp or strapped into the booster. (if you have running in two different direction kids.)

I just went through several weeks of constant temper tantrums and it sucks. I video taped my daughter which really helped me to be able to show her later on what she was like. I swear though I look at pictures of them NOW and I can see how still very small and young they really are. In the heat of things they seem so much older.

Wine and lots of time on twinstuff forums helped me.

Heather