Successful preschool seperation?

I saw another post similar to this, but I'm looking for a little reassurance because I've tentatively decided to separate my b/g twins. They are only 2 1/2 (3 in March), but started in a tots class at the preschool 2 mornings a week. They've been together since September, but today the director called me to recommend putting them in different classes.

She said that my daughter is very controlling and bossy to my son and always takes over what he's doing. And then sometimes he fights back. So, the teacher thought that maybe this isn't the best learning/social environment for either of them because they are so wrapped up with each other. By the way, they do fight at home, but mostly get along and play pretty well - I don't see my daughter being overly bossy.

I have to say I of course want to do what's best for them, but can't help feeling disappointed because I wanted them to have the same friends, birthday parties, etc... I didn't plan on seperating them until Kindergarten at the earliest.

I'm worried that they will be so upset without eachother there, but realize deep down that it will probably be good for them. I can't believe I have so much anxiety about this!

Thanks in advance

 

I saw another post similar to this, but I'm looking for a little reassurance because I've tentatively decided to separate my b/g twins. They are only 2 1/2 (3 in March), but started in a tots class at the preschool 2 mornings a week. They've been together since September, but today the director called me to recommend putting them in different classes.

She said that my daughter is very controlling and bossy to my son and always takes over what he's doing. And then sometimes he fights back. So, the teacher thought that maybe this isn't the best learning/social environment for either of them because they are so wrapped up with each other. By the way, they do fight at home, but mostly get along and play pretty well - I don't see my daughter being overly bossy.

I have to say I of course want to do what's best for them, but can't help feeling disappointed because I wanted them to have the same friends, birthday parties, etc... I didn't plan on seperating them until Kindergarten at the earliest.

I'm worried that they will be so upset without eachother there, but realize deep down that it will probably be good for them. I can't believe I have so much anxiety about this!

Thanks in advance

 

I have girl twins; they'll be 3 in January; they are in the same preschool class now, but teachers have also recommended separation next September. One daughter is more outgoing and the other daughter will look to her for cues on just about everything; she's getting less shy all the time, but I definitely want to give her every opportunity to shine on her own. But, I'm with you about the anxiety! ...will we ever not worry about every little thing?!

I think separation will help her; in our preschool the kids have a "home base" area, but interact with the other groups several times a day. I think this arrangement is ideal because my shy daughter will always know where her sister is, but will have a large part of her day where sister is not "controlling" things.

 

We are/were in the same situation, and can tell you that the separation was great. In fact, they took to it immediately, and became more involved in their classrooms as a result of not being distracted by their other half. I'm sure our situation was unique, but at least wanted to let you know that in our case, it worked out, and we were just as concerned about separating them.

Our boys are 2.5, and will be 3 in April...so we're REALLY in the same space....good luck, and let me know how it works out.

 

just today I was filling out the forms for my 2 (who will be 3 in march) to start preschool next fall. I have them in the same class, but I wonder if they will have the same experience as yours. I understand completley when you say it would be nice/easier to have them in the same class.

good luck!

 

Mine started preschool 2 months after turning 3, and they have never been in the same classroom. At first it was by my choice, and then by necessity (one needed to be in the Preschool Disabled program and that sent him to a different school). I have found that their relationship has improved with the time apart--they love to share their day, and give hugs when they do see each other again!

At just 4, my boys attended summer camp and I had to make the decision to keep them together or separate--after one swimming lesson where one being upset caused the other to be upset, I called the camp and told them to separate them.

Yes, it can be tough to deal with birthdays and different friends, but it is doable! Most tell me to bring the other along anyway! I think both boys have benefitted from having time to be themselves and not one of "the twins"!

 

Even though I fought tooth and nail to keep mine together, it was because I knew that was best for my boys. That said, I totally believe Mom knows best. You know in your heart what would be best, and for some twins it is to be separated, as some of these Moms shared. If you feel they would be best separated, than do that. Every twin group is different, and their needs are different. It shows what a caring Mom you are by doing what you think is best for them! Best of luck!!

 

Thank you so much for your replies! It was very helpful to hear others' stories. The more I have thought about it, the more I am comfortable keeping them apart. My poor Jack has 2 sisters that are often in his face and bossing him around, and the twins are together practically every minute of every day (sleep in same room). They deserve time apart, I'm just a little worried about how the transition will go where all of a sudden Rachel is in a new class. Also, I really trust that the teacher and preschool director have my kids best interest at heart and they wouldn't have suggested it if they didn't think it would benefit the kids.

For those of you who are just starting preschool, maybe try them together (if that's what you want) because as we all know every twin dynamic is different. There are a set of identical twin girls who are in their same class that do fine together. I did want mine together until Kindergarten, but I guess the separation just got moved up a couple of years.

I'll update after the new year when they start their new classes.

Thanks!